What if the real glory was in your own hole the entire time?

I'm asking the difficult questions lately. 101 Dalmations

If anyone can go on and report her deranged posts, I would appreciate it. She's getting worse with her attacks.

It's all about the clench power. Happy Sinday

Anyone wanna play a game where we hide the pickle?

I'm not one to tell people who to block, but if you want to avoid drama, avoid this person. She deletes accounts and comes back as a new account. This is the 4th or 5th I've blocked of hers. Currently has almost 100 posts, 0 followers and 0 following.

Is it just me? It can't be just me.

Someone's been extra good this year...

My penis was in the Guiness Book of World Records... until the librarian told me to take it out.

My snuggle buddy tonight.

Dear NBC... try using spellcheck

Orange chicken dino nuggets. Follow me for more recipes.

Another year without any of those free drugs in my trick or treat bag. I'm beginning to think that might now be real.

They loved it.

I was invited to a bottomless brunch last weekend. Apparently, I was supposed to wear pants.

Yep

You can either have kids or have a full drawer of silverware. Choose wisely.

I'm thinking about opening up a burger place that sells donkey burgers. I'll name it Ass To Mouth.

Trick or treating is tonight in my town. Don't question it. We are giving the kids an option of candy or a potato.

I'm no Portland Frog, but I got it going on with this

What do you get when you mix human DNA with donkey DNA? I got kicked out of the petting zoo.

"Here's a picture of my kids when they were younger." Dude. Every picture of your kids is when they were younger.

The other day, my doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating. I asked how long? He said at least until he was done with my prostate exam.

A dragon won't explode, but a dino might.

I'm going to stick with the No Kings stance and not watch any LA Kings hockey games this year. So let it be written. So let it be done.

I haven't made one of these in a few years

It's a little surreal around here right now. In the past 2 months, both of my kids have gotten engaged. My son proposed to his fiance this weekend. I'm happy for them, but I guess i can't pretend I'm young anymore.

I should call her

No kings. Only pumpkins. Doing Gourdy's Pumpkin Run this morning... but I'm walking

You get Bob out of Robert and Bill out of William, but do you know how you get Dick out of Richard? You just have to ask him.

Yeah!

Don't face your fears. Fear your face.

Please be careful

Pick your favorite

This is so damn good

Thinking of going as Winnie the Pooh for Halloween. I've got a red shirt.

Unsolicited shtick pic

I just asked for a 3 finger combo, and now I can't sit down. Because I'm waiting for my food, you perv.

Some days I want to be a unicorn... so I can stab people with my head.

Remember, we are all in this together. Kind of like a hostage situation.

This

Austin 3:16 says you Gotta Have It