Happy Friday! so happy the wind and rain stopped long enough for us to safely get back to the forest. here's a few seconds of river bliss to get your weekend started! 🙏

If your bio says (he/him) you automatically start on probation, sorry

Don’t worry guys I will never go live, you will only ever know me in skeet format

you mean to tell me that there are people out there with emotions that dont overtake their whole being? what a concept

WHY AM I LIKE THIS !!! (A lover girl who has a crush)

Morning.

currently

In short I’m simply not ok lol

I asked for something sweet and yummy once at this guys house and he pulls out a bag of rhubarb and custard sweets like a fucking old age pensioner and I wanted to die

I went offline from teams for one hour because I’m so fucking distracted by constant fucking bullshit being sent to me on there. I actually get NOTHING DONE. and then people TEXT ME? Leave me alone please. Like i actually just want to do my work in peace why does this feel like surveillance.

Leave me alone !!!! I’m tired and sleepy!!! I deserve to be in bed for the rest of my life if I wanna !!! I don’t wanna work !!

Anyways how much would you need to be paid to drink abandoned bus milk in this economy for context this appears to be milk that someone has left behind and I am dubious of its origin

i met a fellow bird girl at work today and she is cool I hope she will be my friend someday

Performed a concert for the entire office today I have absolutely no regrets u hired me that’s ur problem actually

9th January 2021 The unsolicited appearance of a carrion crow delivers a gothic air to a misty Trinity Lane. Picture from my new book 'Cambridge - Light & Shade'. Available at www.cambridgebooks.co.uk/cambridge-li... and all bookshops.

Anyone want me to tell my crows about their terrible exes ? I believe in crowspiracy they’ll shit on his car if I provide peanuts as payment

What if we all just collectively did not go to work what then

my ex needs to get struck by lighting or a car or something i really don't care

born to skeet forced to spreadsheet

One of the best things about feeding your garden birds is them waiting patiently in the hedgerows when I’m refilling the feeders and flocking to the garden when it’s done. It’s like calling the kids down to breakfast

More therapy! Mission Creek in sunny Santa Barbara!

OKAY DAY WAS SAVED I MET A FALCONER AND HE LET ME WEAR THE FALCONER GLOVE AND HIS HARRIS HAWK LANDED ON MY ARM

Crowley and Morri found me though so at least that’s something good

Today is going to be shit.

Heer is yore regular remindor to remembor to drenk yore wottors! !!

My little robin cheered me up today

So someone broke into our house last night. They stole my work laptop, chargers and broke our backdoor. the worst thing about this is I was sleeping downstairs on the sofa when it happened. nothing else taken, I am fine. Didn’t hear a thing as I’m a heavy sleeper. Just a bit bewildered

Join the over 35,000 people taking part in Big Garden Birdwatch 2026! Its the UK’s largest citizen science wildlife survey 23-25 January - easily done from your garden, balcony or local green space 👇 www.rspb.org.uk/whats-happen...

Hey guys if you are in the uk sign up to do the big garden birdwatch :) It’s fun, and it helps the RSPB know how our birds are faring. It’s just one hour in January where you watch what visits your garden, or a local park! www.rspb.org.uk/whats-happen...

I hope one day in the future I can wake up without about having to hear what fucked up thing the orange man has done

In light of devastating geopolitical events I would like to remind everyone that: You’re allowed to stay informed,stay compassionate, AND protect your inner steadiness. Those things are not in conflict and we are not monolithic in thought or opinion or empathy 💜

Don't invite me if this isnt the vibe

reminding you once again that you do not need to earn rest. it is not a reward for productivity. time spent resting is not time wasted. you need it like you need water. would you deny your friend a glass of water?

Don’t forget me I am a crow with a knife now

I enjoy carrying around a lil bag of birdseed in my pocket and distributing it on fence posts when I’m out and about if I see lil birdies. I highly recommend it to increase whimsy

I heard the bloodhound gang today and I swear to god it activated me like a sleeper cell. How do I still know EVERY SINGLE WORD

LOBSTER HEIST HELL YEH

Today I found out about the maple syrup heist and I cannot stop thinking about it

Anyways look at these precious collared doves that came and got some snacks today

please stop reply guying me in 2026. reply girls only.

getting sworn in as the mayor of your moms ass

You guys the cutest thing happened to me today !!! A old man who lives in the assisted living facility told me he crafts bird boxes for a hobby and He’s asked me if I would like one as he’s making a bunch for the woodland area behind my house 🥺

The boundaries have been crossed. The bird food storage has been raided. The squirrel treaty has been broken. Time to renegotiate the law, mr squirrel. Prepare for battle.

the type of place your parents would take you when you're experiencing the most heinous darkest emotions known to mankind

gonna get real mum energy on your feed today- if you are out partying it up tonight, PLEASE BE SAFE!! Stay with your friends. Leave the keys at home, get taxis together. Don’t leave your drinks unattended, and don’t walk alone. Go wild but come home alive yeah? Good. Fuck.

Men up fighting demons and they are literally just the consequences of his own actions.

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, every creature was stirring because the mouse narrowly avoided being murdered by my cat. IM NOT EVEN KIDDING EITHER. I CAUGHT AND RELEASED THE LITTLE GUY ON CHRISTMAS EVE

live, laugh, toxoplasmosis

this time of year can be really difficult so as a friendly reminder: 🎄 it is okay to feel overwhelmed or ‘not merry’ 🎄 you don’t have to join in with any traditions/activities you don’t want to 🎄 you are allowed to eat, you don’t need to exercise it off 🎄 you are allowed to say no

merry crisis :)