TBH, I have never cared less about the Oscars in my life.

Okay, some British editor is DEFINITELY trolling us here.

I'd ask "what fresh hell is this?", except I know it's going to be the same stale, warmed-over hell. The kind of hell you can't even make croutons with.

The current world chicken population is larger than the planet-wide non-chicken bird population not just today, but at any point in the history of earth.

Ew, you agoraphile

Again, leaders of other countries don’t talk this way. The glee with which our current leaders talk about killing people is not normal, and nor is their lack of concern for who exactly we’re killing. American bombs incinerated 100 kids in Minab. Were those the “right people”?

Not loving how certain young'uns treat racism and antisemitism from a political office-seeker as an exciting dash of spice in the national conversation.

It's Florida, the cranial cooker of states.

Big part of my deal is reminding liberals our media habits are very different from the average non political person. And I don’t mean that in a value judgement way, I watch garbage tv too. But it means people simply aren’t aware of 99.9% of the stuff we think is “everywhere.”

ahhh this is all so good! read the entire piece!

12:01 Cowboy

Worth forever reiterating that most of the "long" novels of the 19th century were not received as long at the time, but generally as subdivided shorter works, sometimes something we would consider more like a comic book than a terrifying doorstop.

The troubles

The idea that America isn’t for everyone who wants to be an American is something that makes my blood boil. Posting a photo of yourself as a Congressman smiling next to these words is wicked. It’s antithetical to the concept of America.

Difficult to emphasize just how much a generation of kids has been taught that being dishonest, superficial, and narcissistic is the pathway to attention and therefore success

The boy is reaching hazardously intense levels of silliness.

Zeteo ran an interview with Graham Platner today (paywalled, unfortunately) and I can't get past the fact that someone who literally recommends people watch "Come and See" as the ultimate anti-war movie is trying to pretend he never knew what a Totenkopf was.

Scientists recently combined DNA of a cheetah with the DNA of a crab. It went sideways real fast.

Most accurate portrait of modern culture currently available

WW3 could be starting and I'd be like, USE THE ACTIVE VOICE!

Waffle House remains open in hurricanes, tornadoes, and flooding, not to mention its share of hair-pulling, table-smashing donnybrooks. But a Groyper politician is, quite rightly, a bridge too far. cbs12.com/news/florida...

NEWS: Grammarly tells me it will let "experts" like me opt out of having their names used against their will and for no compensation as part of its "expert review" feature www.platformer.news/grammarly-ex...

Aladdin: 🎶I can show you the world...🎶 Jasmine: (sighs dreamily) Aladdin: 🎶Hardwood, laminate, vinyl...🎶 Jasmine: What. Aladdin: 🎶"If you tell me your price range...🎶 Jasmine: So you're just a floor salesman? Aladdin: 🎶...we can let your heart decide..."🎶 Jasmine: (storms off in disgust)

A small-government conservative is here to tell us that lattes are bourgeois decadence that erode the morals of the collective. www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

remember when the IRS put out a a free online tax filing system where you could just do your taxes through the IRS and it was actually well made and was pretty well recieved and then the tax filing industry and Republicans killed it and now you have to use TurboTax again

I have managed to take a very March picture.

He's a serious journalist, but the name "Steve Lemongello" will always make me giggle.

CNN has a solid, well-funded newsroom, regardless of the network’s editorial slant. a lot of good reporters will lose their jobs, and the public will lose all the stories they would’ve reported. and they are one of the last newsrooms to pay for costly but critical on the ground war correspondents.

You're not getting the full effect of the song without the "ribbit, ribbit."

the issue with saying "Israel caused the US to join the war" isn't just that it's a major oversimplification of Bibi encouraging Trump to do something Trump has wanted to do since 1980. It is also a direct step towards "the Jews wanted the war," something I've already seen alleged leftists posting.

Ooooo now we can save drafts! You have NO IDEA how full my drafts folder will be of half-baked hot takes. Just a boxcar full of little radioactive nuggets. 😂

Welp, assuming I ever was the most important thing in his life, I can see I have been replaced by Large Carrot.

Nat King Coldseatemperatures, Ray Checksandbalances

I think it's not coincidental that these quasi-puritanical reactions happened following technological advances that made many more kinds of images available to many more people.

Ask a fish to explain water.

“Please depress button” you’re a terrible button. Your mother wanted a lever. No one will ever push you. The signage explaining you is confusing

There is literally no way to find a real life fox that attractive and that’s sort of the dealbreaker for folks, most real life foxes just want to eat chickens and not be sexy

I bring a "I was a theater kid and let me show you why I was SO CLOSE to going pro" vibe—which, I'm sure, everyone just loves.

This is not accurate. In fact, no country required its submarines to rescue survivors, due to the risk of surfacing and/or limited space to keep prisoners in the very small, cramped subs. What they were expected to do was not attack survivors in the water.

So Philip Glass just joined TikTok. He only has like 4 posts and they’re simply him in what I assume is his living room playing the piano. First comment on one I saw was “your piano is too close to the fireplace, you’ll dry it out” and if that’s not the internet in a nutshell I don’t know what is.

Sorry I know the world is in a terrible fix but I've been laughing at this for ten minutes now

am I crazy or is american media like "here's how trump is going to think about picking pick iran's next leader! next up, why wokeness failed the democrats" and then you look at world leaders who aren't donald trump and they're prepping for historic catastrophe

FT comments section this morning - saying what everyone else is thinking, right?

"Oh good. A chance to air my side of the story. Thank you, Mr. Chotiner—please make me look good!"

It might seem incredible now, but in the era before Instagram and looksmaxxing, men who looked like this could credibly issue a musical booty call. www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOwd...

there's a lot going on right now but did you know a massive amount of the world's fertilizer flows through the middle east, and did you know that that fertilizer needs to be shipped to the us *right now* for planting season, and uh did you know we are at war with iran

Amen

About that curse where your dad jokes turn into public policy.