When you’re the only guy in the battle who didn’t bring a horse AND your shoe is untied.

There are few things as disturbingly dystopian as having to repeat “Talk to a human!” again and again to a machine whose main job is to stop you from doing just that.

We have now spotted our neighborhood great horned owls on the Thanksgiving AND Christmas walks, which is kind of cool. #Birdsly

Wild statement from the folks who would have deported Mary & Joseph & tried to revoke Jesus’ birthright citizenship…

A rare pet gift 100% success rate. Merry Christmas to all who celebrate!

A stocking stuffer I gave Mr. White years ago, in honor of the traditional Christmas Eve Die Hard re-watch🎄

Hemming pants by hand like the bleeping pioneers bc there is no longer a place to buy replacement machine parts anywhere near my neighborhood. VC Bros, I wish you a lifetime of continued virginity.

Stay safe, neighbors, and make sure your local bad weather shelters are well-stocked!

When you have both an atmospheric river and a dog in a cast who needs to go out…

If you need a moment of whimsy for reasons, please enjoy this adorable isopod non sequitur from the family group chat. These will now be “chuggy pigs” to me forevermore…

I, a dyslexic adult with legendarily poor spatial skills and a lackadaisical attitude toward following directions, have just built my very first Lego kit as per the instructions on the box. It’s never too late to try new things!

These readers are coming of age after a worldwide pandemic, with fascism ascendant and climate crises accelerating, as new revelations of evil burst into the news multiple times a day. Let the kids have a goddamn fun book, for fuck’s sake. They are not the problem.

“It’s impossible to be a working writer in Hollywood. You should probably just give up and move back to wherever you came from.” - Angsty dude by the pool at my very first LA party (Tbh I hope he’s ok)

And if this country valued women enough to have listened to those who told us about all this a decade ago (and more), he wouldn't be in the Oval now.

Worth repeating this with every new Epstein document drop. The party of Denny Hastert is the party of Jim Jordan is the party of Matt Gaetz is the party of Donald Trump. Looking the other way and protecting child predators from the law is their brand.

Take me to your (atmospheric) river…

Year 16 and the reusable fabric “wrapping paper” is still going strong…

I just uploaded @jasonparis.bsky.social 's recording of the segment CBS News pulled from "60 Minutes" to YouTube:

Every kid should have a dog to teach them unconditional love — and a cat to teach them sometimes life comes out of nowhere and randomly attacks your ankles.

A random elderly couple I see sometimes stopped me in the street today to say I was doing a good job. I don’t know why (language barrier) and they may have me confused with someone else, but it was still very nice. Will definitely pass on to other strangers who I think are doing a good job at stuff❤️

we’ve listened to the manosphere yap about what women want for so long that it’s eroded polite society and they STILL won’t hear that what we want is a man in a button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up

One of my purest joys as a mom is when the teens & their friends come with me to walk the dog and look at all the neighbors’ holiday lights🎄🎄❤️

More of this, please. Much, much more of this.

There are many excellent all stars (hence the name) but this one is mine…

Annual #DeacansoGardens enchanted forest run. Come for the lights, stay for the cozily spooky sound design…

Not loving the pre-holiday Hollywood blood bath.

Woke up laughing from my absolute silliest recurring dream, in which I’m directing community theater but all the actors are ghosts who keep accidentally levitating during the musical numbers bc singing makes them too happy😂

If you’re a parent and you’re not ready for your child to be trans, you’re not ready to be a parent. If you’re a person who isn’t comfortable participating in a society that includes trans people, you’re not ready to be in society. Trans people have never been the problem

May the world treat you the way you treat trans kids.

The issue is not that we don't talk to each other. It's that some people think that "talking" means getting to debate your existence, and that's abusive and controlling.

would like to see more Ds make statements like this.

First day on #SolarPower at House White. Not gonna lie, I’m almost as happy about sticking it to SoCal Edison as I am about protecting the planet☀️

They developed the "high school girl's sports" angle as a wedge issue, to lever their way up to full society-wide discrimination. What's endlessly stunning to me is how many purported liberals a) helped them when it started & b) are still helping them even after the larger purpose has become clear!

The irony of having to constantly prove we’re not robots to the very companies trying to replace us with robots is a bit much, like bro maybe go ask your best bud clippy how many stoplights there are.

I feel like the apocalyptic fog in DTLA really gets me?

Quizzing 13 for her US government test and the intersection of precise accuracy and valley girl slang is giving Legally Blonde in the most delightful way😂😂❤️

91.7%??????!!!! This makes it one of the most segregated industries and history will not look kindly on this era. This is why it's so important to support POC Writers and Creators. It's crucial to be a part of the solution and fight back against racism.

Every time I go to my local indie bookstore the romance section is twice as big as it was last time, and I’m loving that for all of us.

Please enjoy this boss-ass flower, making beauty despite the frost.

a must read on Rob Reiner’s instrumental role in overturning Prop. 8 and protecting marriage rights for LGBTQ+ couples: www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/bus...

Please enjoy this boss-ass flower, making beauty despite the frost.

Fuck.

I feel like people really undersold the joys of raising teenagers, like the attitude is as advertised but they’re SO smart & creative & willing to throw down for what they believe in!

A stocking stuffer I gave Mr. White years ago, in honor of the traditional Christmas Eve Die Hard re-watch🎄

What is up with air quality today I can’t see the mountains from right next to the mountains. Or breathe.

glamcore of course

What kind of music do they play, wrong answers only. #Caturday

Somebody re-sprained her wrist chasing squirrels yet has no regrets, probably on account of being high AF. #dogsky

Companies will not save us from other companies. Billionaires will not save us from other billionaires. As always, only hope is each other.