Holy shit, thank you FIFA for naming me Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series. I am honored, and I can't wait to KICK it with y'all at the after party and whatnot.

A sentence you didn't know existed but that you can copy and paste to every single person you know is "Sorry your podcast wasn't nominated for a golden globe."

From episode 6 of INTERCEPTS, this one is about some humans on an alien ship. With Mary Mack and Tommy Johnagin. #scripted #audio #sketch #comedy #podcast youtu.be/q7GKacFq3ZI

This is gonna be nuts. 3 nights at the OG Shining hotel.

Posted a new Intercepts sketch starring my friend @henlips.bsky.social that's doing some real numbers (1 view) over on youtube dot com if you like scripted audio sketch comedy. youtu.be/BZzGdGhx148

Has everyone seen Elio? It's so good.

"The stupidity is at 52! How dumb do they think we are?!" -- People who were fully on board when the stupidity was at 56.

People laughed at me and my Q dogs for years. Now a powerful ring of pedos is finally being taken down, and we're spending all our time talking about how the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia is cool? We worked too hard for this!! #wwg1wgcposa #epstein #goatsaresatan

Ken Burns documentaries always feel like you're coming in at a random point of a perpetual Ken Burns documentary that's been playing for 30 years.

If you even think for a second that your ties to the most notorious sex trafficker in the history of the world could come back to bite you, you can't go half way. You gotta tear down the entire white house.

Tearing down half of the white house was not a big enough distraction.

“would you like photos of donald and girls in bikinis in my kitchen?” -Jeffrey Epstein

This link is only for Qanon folks searching for powerful pedos. Some good leads here. #epstein embed.documentcloud.org/documents/26...

Intercepts is a scripted comedy podcast I make. This sketch involves astronauts. Two are played by Eric Lyons & Amber Preston. It's about 7 minutes long. #scripted #audio #sketch #podcast #astronauts #bees youtu.be/D2-8Kme3n4U

Sure Thing, Boss is a new show that follows a construction crew that will do absolutely anything.

"Sir, maybe now's the time to shoot your left ear?"

I drew this cartoon in like 2007. It was relevant to nothing, and most people found it too dark.

“We were screaming and filming, and that’s when the officer pulled the gun out and pointed it at us and threatened to shoot us. We were posing no immediate threat to him, and we were filming and making noise.”

Used to be standing marching orders to kick out a scratchboard piece 'round this time of year, but time frames in the past weeks didn't allow it. Still, I like sharing this one. "He Give Out Special Crisps". Created for the late Ayden Gallery's Robots And Monsters show. #scratchboard #hallowseve

Have you considered spending all your free time laboring over something no one wants? Takes your mind off of things. #peaceful #scripted #audio #sketch #comedy #editing

From episode 4 of INTERCEPTS, here's a sketch I made with my friend Andy. You don't know him. #scripted #audio #sketch #comedy #afterlife youtu.be/E7mBmm8EqVE

My uncle Curt died of an aneurysm. At Thanksgiving, he used to hunch over his food, shoveling it into his mouth, muttering "I'd fly a friggin' jet over 'em and dump diarrhea on 'em" ...and I think recent events were just more than his brain could handle. #RIP

Everyone looked at me weird at the rallies when I had my "Free George Santos & Tear Down the Whitehouse" sign.

Hell yeah, I’m ANTIFA: Asking Nicely To be Involved in planning for the new Fudge Museum in Akron, Ohio

AVAILABLE FOR PREORDER AT YOUR LOCAL COMIC BOOK SHOP! When a small-time crook from LA gets mixed up in a mystical battle between good and evil from ancient China, things... go awry. WRITER: Chris Mancini ART: @nandopintoart.bsky.social FOC 10/27 LUNAR CATALOG CODE 1025MP0827

Was weird to be out amongst so many people paid to be there today. No one would say if their art store budget was in addition to their per diem, but I'd love Doge and the IRS to get to the bottom of it. Which they definitely could if they wanted to.

Heavens to Betsy Betsy to Heavens Heavens BACK to Betsy Betsy GOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL

From INTERCEPTS Episode 4, with @owenburke.bsky.social as a scientist doing a diagnostic test on a robot. #scripted #audio #sketch #comedy #AI #robots #consciousness youtu.be/hF9vMcPZmfA

The company that owns the platform I used to criticize my bros for doing the Riyadh festival did what??! www.nbcnews.com/tech/social-...

“The only way to expose people in an oppressed nation to art and other forms of expression is to take money directly from the oppressors and then strictly adhere to their restrictive rules on expression. It’s the only way.” – Banksy

This article is about justice. It also includes this paragraph. www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...

CHICAGO — Outside an elementary school during dismissal… horrifying. What have we become?

A sketch from episode 3 of Intercepts, the scripted sketch comedy podcast I make. This one is with all-time greats @jackiekashian.bsky.social Kyle Kinane and Alexandra Hartley-Leonard. Editing and sound design by Dan Pritchard. youtu.be/SFOf0QO1EoU

Bro remember Tiana? She's still bangin. I was pepper spraying some tards at work today and there she was just beaming like a ray of light. We made eye contact & I almost pulled down my Punisher neck gator but then saw she had some dumb "abolish ICE" sign. She was always stuck up anyway

Remember jr year when we scrimaged varsity and Ferguson trucked me? Bro I did that to a old man we arrested today. Felt kind of bad tbh but dude I should have made varsity! hit me back!!

bro you tell me to dwnload this stupid signal app then you don't txt me back??? I tackled a 77 yr old man today. body cam was off. hit me back, bro

Standing up for science, happening now. The cheerleaders are going bananas. Crowd is full of painted faces and foam fingers. Tons of pyrotechnics. www.planetary.org/video/planet...

Dr. Jane Goodall filmed an interview with Netflix in March 2025 that she understood would only be released after her death.

The scientists behind this just signed 10 year $400 Million contracts with $190 million guaranteed. news.mit.edu/2025/concret...

Grokipedia aiming to erase Wikipedia isn't a new concept. No one asked, but my two cents is: try to be someone they'd want to erase. Like Thaddeus Stevens and Lydia Hamilton. www.smithsonianmag.com/history/amer...

I got some shows coming up… DISHEVELED CUSS 10/12 LA The Belasco (opening for Minus The Bear) 10/13 LA Permanent Records PINBACK 10/14 LA Fonda Theater 10/15 SF The Fillmore 10/17 SD Humphrey’s 10/18 Seattle Showbox 10/20 Revolution Hall Throwing quite a few curveballs into the set i think.

The Riyadh crowd, they're just like us. I was like "You guys don't mess around with fake news! Can't be fake if it doesn't have a head." and these dudes in the front row were dyin'. Blessed to be a part of it.

T-shirt sales in Riyadh were honestly pretty good. Despite what the wokesters will tell you, they were pretty cool with free speech. I said retard and fag probably 80 times in my set and didn't get beheaded at all.

I'm streaming on Twitch for Bezos. I'm posting on X for Musk. I'm livestreaming on facebook and instagram for Zuckerberg. I'm on TikTok for China. I'm at Riyadh for the life experience. Off next to Moscow's Comedy Festival just to see what they're about. I am punk rock. I am a truth teller.

Hell, my ass? One way I'll respond to a question is to prepare the listener that they're dealing with a bit of a wild card. Grab their attention right away. Something like "Hell, my ass??"

I made this little video years ago about Jane Goodall with @sharonshattuck.bsky.social and some other friends. I think she was the best. youtu.be/-JE97NAYyNk

An audio sketch from episode 3 of the scripted podcast Intercepts that is illegal to listen to. youtu.be/Ugntc6EyUwY

Goodbye, Jane Goodall. I love you.

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