Happy 80th Birthday to our Cognitive-Test-Acer-In-Chief! @theonion.com

Y’know what? I’m a trillionaire on paper, too. Gimme a piece of paper & I’ll write “I’m a trillionaire” on it

Dammit Cinematrix! Why can’t I enter in the Stallone, Pelé, Caine classic 1981 sports film Victory into today’s puzzle? I know it’s supposed to be all about soccer because of the World Cup. C’mon!

“Valuation” is money talk for “My mom says I’m handsome.”

happy pride

🚨new episode alert!🚨this week we welcome @soundgardenmusic.bsky.social Kim Thayil to the show to talk about his new memoir ‘A Screaming Life’. Kim reflects on his relationship with Chris Cornell & offers an update on the final Soundgarden record. Watch it on YouTube — 🔗below #SOLATpod #kimthayil

In this scene, @bryangutmann.bsky.social lodges a complaint about a co-worker and is reprimanded about parking his vehicle at Rowdy Patookah's Wild Western Funtown. youtu.be/YVpTcdT3_9E

You say I am not a special snowflake, and yet I am the only person on this bus wearing headphones to watch videos on my phone.

Holy shit! I may not be the oldest guy at this show*! *Because some one is here at this All Ages show with their parents

Why did I start my new podcast WHO’S WITH ME?, you ask? In addition to wantin to make male comedian podcasts great again, here’s my answer.

It’s a shame that Americans don’t understand that our addiction to oil will soon mean that we will no longer be able to feed our OTHER addictions to Coffee & Chocolate.

Oh man, Duo is fucking me up with these subjunctive verbs

Amazing speech by Kate Hepburn as the widow of a superrich businessman and presidential contender who was secretly the leader of a cabal of rich fascists plotting to take over the United States. Keeper of the Flame (1942), directed by George Cukor. youtu.be/_abRxAL3hnw?...

“A.i.” fucking sucks.

@bishonentype.bsky.social HAS to have watched this, right?

I don’t believe in astrology at all, except that the United States being born on July 4 means that America is a Cancer

So sad about Marjane Satrapi. I devoured everything she made when I was in college and after. A huge influence and inspiration for me in making sincere, genuine, passionate auto bio. She was such a bright fire.

“Died of sadness,” according to family. An immeasurable loss.

the original “outside agitators” were abolitionists. the concept is rooted in the racist idea that black people aren’t smart enough to want their own freedom, they were just getting tricked into misbehaving by outsiders stirring up trouble.

Oh no. Rest in peace, Marjane Satrapi.

Marjane Satrapi's people are saying she "died of sadness," which just makes it all the more devastating. A powerful and unerring voice for justice. www.lemonde.fr/en/obituarie...

Iranian-French cartoonist and filmmaker was perhaps most well-known for the graphic memoir, and subsequent film, about her life during the Iranian revolution in 1979. n.pr/4e4ODBQ

For two hours of me losing my fucking mind discovering that the Moonies were involved in everything from Iran Contra to the Bolivian cocaine coup to *checks notes* funding Pol Pot see here Moreover, ICE must be destroyed www.iheart.com/podcast/105-...

OMG A MASSIVE LOSS!! 56??

Do the Red Hot Chili Peppers get away with that “Ching Chong” shit in Around The World because there aren’t any East Asians that listen to RHCP?

comic rates basically stayed the same over the last 50 years

Fuckin Mastodon, Deafheaven, AND Alcest on tour!! Of course they aren’t coming to my next of the woods, so 🫠

We're hiring a part-time associate producer in Los Angeles to work with Black People Love Paramore. Find out more about the job and how to apply below.

Heard someone say “are you normal or are you progressive” and was about to be like wtf until I remembered I’m shopping for glasses

I don’t think I’ll ever get used to hearing Pearl Jam mixed in with 70s classic rock, but it’s not like I have a choice in the matter…

I don’t give a shit about basketball! My girl is dancing her heart out at #StarboundTahoe and winning those Elite Golds!

If you’re going to use a Beatles song in a dance competition, make sure you use the mono version of the song, not that wacky stereo mix that puts the drums on one side & the vocals on the other

New Episode! Daniel Turner from @collegefungames.mastodon.gamedev.place.ap.brid.gy joins Matt to talk about the Perfect Tides sequel "Station to Station!" pod.link/1641529105/e...

With the “stuff” that’s happened in the general area of Trump, lately, you’d think he wouldn’t do things like announce that he was going to be at MSG on a specific day, or set up for a public event on the front lawn of the White House

Today is my birthed-day but YOU get the present, kind of! I started a Patreon to get me to start making more comics and stuff. It is here: www.patreon.com/cw/wigu

Check out the trailer for my new podcast WHO’s WITH ME? It premieres next Wednesday, May 27! Subscribe on YouTube, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts: linktr.ee/WKamauBell

Just heard Imagine Dragons and look, I know they catch a lot of shit, but you’ve got to admit: they deserve even more.

30 years later and I understand this line now more than ever. #TheSimpsons episode “Homerpalooza” first aired May 19, 1996.

For everyone who missed out on our comic book poem t-shirt, WINK WINK, we know have a poster version of our most iconic quote from an episode yet! maxfunstore.com/products/and...

Remember, the Google slogan was “Don’t Be Evil,” not “Don’t Be A Fuckin Dipshit Magoo”

So it’s gonna be, what, 20 years? 30 years when we find out it was the CIA bringing fentanyl into the US?

Comedy Roasts used to be private affairs featuring groups of friends having a laugh. They were meant to be invite only. But over the years, Hollywood turned them from a circle of friends into circular firing squads. Comedy roasts stocked with MAGAmedians.

I know there is a big He-Man and Masters of the Universe Movie coming out very soon. The He-Man Effect explains why this is happening to us. It also predicted this would happen. us.macmillan.com/books/978125...

Today is the last day of the members-only MaxFunDrive 2026 keychain sale for charity! Folks giving $5/mo can buy the Mikey MFD26 edition, while anyone at $10/mo or more can buy as many as they like from any (or every) show. Not a member? Join today; still counts! maximumfun.org/join

And it's live in the US! Here we GOOOO!!! www.nintendo.com/us/store/pro...

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us".

e44 of 60 SONGS THAT EXPLAIN THE '90S: THE 2000S is on shakira's "HIPS DON'T LIE," an all-timer in any language, and at any level of honesty or dancing ability open.spotify.com/episode/1Ks1...