Bryan Gutmann
@bryangutmann.bsky.social
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Guys, what we even doing anymore?
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Bryan Gutmann
Nash
10 days ago
Remember: we were never given credit for being right about crypto, we were never given credit for being right about NFTs, we were never given credit for being right about the metaverse and we will never be given credit for being right about AI. Fuck 'em up anyway.
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HomeGoods is Five Below for moms.
#happymothersday
20 days ago
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Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD, BOFA
20 days ago
MY STEPMOM: *stuck in a washing machine* help ME: I got this *googles stepmom stuck in washing machine* what the
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āthe singerā
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about 1 month ago
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ššš
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about 1 month ago
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Further proof that I do comedy things with amazing, creative people.
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about 1 month ago
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Bryan Gutmann
Outspokenā¢ļø
about 2 months ago
Doctors dress like Jesus now.
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The Onion
about 2 months ago
Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees
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Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees
WASHINGTON--After manually prying his eyelids open to read from a report he had prepared on the matter, a badly swollen Robert F. Kennedy Jr. gave a speech Tuesday in which he warned that Americans were not eating enough bees.Ā āIn our survey of American...
https://theonion.com/swollen-rfk-jr-warns-americans-not-eating-enough-bees/
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The Barbed Wire
about 2 months ago
The new season of "Euphoria" premieres this weekend. In the show, Martha Kelly plays a terrifying drug dealer with a deadpan delivery. In real life, sheās a deadpan comedian who cut her teeth in Texas.
thebarbedwire.com/2025/03/26/m...
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Before She Was a Scary Drug Dealer on āEuphoria,ā Martha Kelly Was the Funniest Person in Austin
Martha Kelly proves that in Hollywood, you're either the comic relief or the nightmare fuel.
https://thebarbedwire.com/2025/03/26/martha-kelly-euphoria-comedian-austin/
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We STILL have to slow down for these Water Lumps??!!
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about 2 months ago
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Bryan Gutmann
The Onion
about 2 months ago
Rich Parents Fill Easter Eggs With Gas
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Lilah Sturges
2 months ago
I think we need to celebrate the death of Sora a bit more. This is a technology that, just MONTHS AGO, we were being told was going to literally destroy Hollywood and Disney was going to give them a BILLION DOLLARS and NONE OF THAT EVEN REMOTELY HAPPENED
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Finally some good ideas being proposed in 2026.
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2 months ago
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I think itās cool that vacation spending doesnāt come out of your bank account. Very neat.
2 months ago
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The weirdest part of any flight is when the pilot comes on the PA and starts to read ad copy for an airplane credit card like heās up there hosting a podcast.
2 months ago
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HEY LOOK - IāM ON A PODCAST THAT IS CONSTANTLY BRIMMING WITH CREATIVITY AND TALENT!
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3 months ago
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Weird. I swear I remember laughing all through the new Naked Gun because it had jokes. I guess I sat in silence, wishing for someone to cancel Cancel CultureĀ®ļø.
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3 months ago
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Does he have to give that other persons peace prize back now?
3 months ago
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Bryan Gutmann
Erin Whitehead
3 months ago
I want a zoo but itās all MAGA and billionaires. Itās open 24/7. No privacy for the rest of their lives as we walk by with cokes and hot dogs and tell our kids these foul fleshy creatures in cages actually used to have power. And the kids laugh up at us like, āNo way!ā
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Bryan Gutmann
Elizabeth Cronise McLaughlin
4 months ago
Dinosaur Convention out here with higher moral standards than the Cabinet.
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Bryan Gutmann
Mueller, She Wrote
4 months ago
The man who told reporters itās time to move on from the Epstein files wonāt shut up about the 2020 election.
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Groundhog Day | noun | a situation in which the same usually negative or monotonous experiences occur repeatedly or are felt to occur repeatedly with no change or correction
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4 months ago
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Bryan Gutmann
Bill Corbett
4 months ago
ICE actively preying on more small children to abduct and send to concentration camps. Every single person responsible for this should be sentenced to spend the rest of their lives in one of their own camps, with the same crowding, rancid food, etc. You built it, enjoy it forever.
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Merriam-Webster
4 months ago
ā¤ļø
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4 months ago
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Kevin M. Kruse
4 months ago
Man, I bet the NRA is going to be furious when they hear that jack-booted thugs from the federal government executed a law-abiding citizen for exercising his Second Amendment right to carry a handgun. Any second now, I'm sure. He was a white guy, if that helps? Hello? NRA?
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Bryan Gutmann
molly conger
4 months ago
they're executing moms and nurses in the street. they're using preschoolers as bait. they're stealing people's dads and grandmas and children. they're tear gassing babies. they're staking out schools. there is no remedy but abolition. any proposal that doesn't start there is an act of violence.
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Bryan Gutmann
LorennaCleary.bsky.social
4 months ago
The absolute accuracy of this.
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A big giant thumbs down to this era of gaming when every title abandoned their own awesome visual style to instead look like this.
4 months ago
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Bryan Gutmann
Courtney Milan
5 months ago
I don't know who needs to hear this, but cops are not allowed to shoot people just because you didn't do what they said. That is called murder when they do that. Some cops are working hard to convince people otherwise.
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Amazing.
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6 months ago
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Bryan Gutmann
Josh Gondelman
6 months ago
Sometimes a college basketball game will be like Oklahoma vs. Oklahoma State and itās like come on guys I know thatās the same place.
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Gonna update the Magic 8 Ball with a side that says āI DONāT know - CAN you??ā
7 months ago
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Along the lines of the āno talkingā option in an Uber, you should be able to pre-check to an auto care place and check a āDonāt tell me about extra stuffā box about my car.
8 months ago
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Thereās gonna be a White House Comedy Festival soon, isnāt there?
8 months ago
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Bryan Gutmann
Chris Cubas
8 months ago
I like to think this Riyadh festival is a big Oceanās 11 style caper designed to help Pete Davidson avenge his father.
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Bryan Gutmann
Fuss
8 months ago
A rich and powerful man voluntarily bearing a cross onstage, but adding wheels so it's not remotely difficult, is the perfect picture for our country.
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Do I just fast forward through podcast ads more these days, or have we all stopped caring as much if our clothes are antimicrobial?
9 months ago
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I want a re-release of the original Jurassic Park that pulls a āReverse George Lucasā and inserts the originally intended stop-motion animation.
10 months ago
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Bryan Gutmann
Mike Drucker
11 months ago
I love late night shows and will always love late night shows. Thereās a showbiz magic to hundreds of people throwing together an entire entertainment program for a live studio audience that will then be on television that same night. Regardless of business or if you like them, just kind of magical.
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Shoutout Xanga - Iāll emo out all over again!
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about 1 year ago
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Bryan Gutmann
George Takei
about 1 year ago
I see it. I have lived it. 83 years ago, the U.S. government turned upon a group of its own citizens and residents and sent them to internment camps without due process. I was there among them. American fascism is back. It is here. It is now.
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Upon further discussion Kath and I have confirmed that Iām in fact great.
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about 1 year ago
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LOLOL (itās true š£)
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about 1 year ago
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Bryan Gutmann
Better Things Are Possible
about 1 year ago
But we're going to touch the stove and we'll be touching it more than probably ever before. And we're not going to get burned. We're not going to get burned
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Attn:
@pftompkins.bsky.social
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 year ago
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