New COLLEGE TOWN feat. @jaime-moyer.bsky.social & Anna Bezahler! Hosted by Jan (me) & guest co-host Dan (Mark Rennie)! Little deaths! The 90’s! Besties & roomies! MORE! Produced by @scottaukerman.bsky.social @brettmorris.bsky.social @cbbworld.bsky.social www.comedybangbangworld.com

i’m a fan of this bit, and the fact that he’s also making an observation of the state of modern comedy

“We are told by leaders that we are the future. But when it comes to the ongoing pandemic, our present is being stolen right in front of our eyes.” Incredible speech by Violet Affleck who warned about the ongoing dangers of COVID & Long Covid, & advocated for masks and clean air at the UN today!

Sharing for this strong opening graf. “President Trump, a slumlord at heart, is quietly halting enforcement of the Fair Housing Act...” newrepublic.com/post/200749/...

While at the same time the US is charging foreign healthcare workers 100k to enter. We’ll be paying more for healthcare than ANY country and it will be some of the worst healthcare.

Apparently you only have until Tuesday to listen to “Pet Helpers” - my pilot about the Rapture - as read by @pftompkins.bsky.social @paulscheer.com @girlwithatail.bsky.social @jaredlogan.bsky.social Jess McKenna, Bryan Cook, and me! www.earwolf.com/episode/pet-...

Well this is terrifying. I felt parched just reading it.

Has anyone tried putting on a red hat, stopping by the FBI and saying DT sent them to get all the files? Follow up, could I get a podcast out of trying this even though I’m not a celebrity doing a podcast about my own show?

These are so cute. 🍓👁️👁️👁️

Cher the last movie you watched!

I googled Walt Disney’s politics for this joke and let’s just say, “it’s complicated.” So here’s what I landed on: Walt Disney’s cryogenically frozen head must be spinning (or nodding approvingly) right now!

I gave my heart and soul to that place. Built entire sections for journalists pushed out of their home countries. When the writer I hired, Jamal Khashoggi was murdered by Saudi Arabia, they paraded me around as a symbol for press freedom. I put MY LIFE on the line to defend journalism and WaPo.

Losing battles to both ants and fascism at the same time really sums up the modern struggle.

Well. I just accidentally learned you can microwave two ants for 90 seconds and they won’t die. More than that, I can’t tell you. Maybe tomorrow.

New COLLEGE TOWN feat. Hannah Pilkes & Gregory Nussen! Hosted by Jan & Beebo (Seth Morris)! Serial killers! Rich person baby parties! Timmy’s sad pjs & more! Produced by @scottaukerman.bsky.social @brettmorris.bsky.social @cbbworld.bsky.social www.comedybangbangworld.com

The new report "concludes that the original endangerment finding was accurate and 'has stood the test of time.' It says that there is now even stronger evidence that rising greenhouse gas levels can threaten public health and well-being, and that new risks have been uncovered."

Ah yes, this is important background info. Sinclair is Bond-level supervillainry and more people need to be aware of it.

just eat the bay leaf. nothing matters.

Another late night host made political commentary the president didn’t like. Which used to be the point of late night.

Everything just feels really dismal and bleak. “I think everyone feels that way right now.” Well, that’s terrifying and definitely worse.

I told my landlord that I am the airlord and he started crying

I’m tired of pretending, ok? I love flash mobs! I don’t think they’re cheesy and they make me feel warm about humanity! And I wish I were part of them every time! (Except at gender reveals)

Cow, a bunga. A female bunga.

I think people who describe others as “toxic” are exhausting ding dongs with one exception: if you apologize for “the mess” and your house/ desk/ car is pristine? I’m gagging from toxicity.

For the record. My posts were not even about Kirk directly, but about America's apathy towards political violence, and the coddling of white male shooters and hate peddlers. I was fired because I mentioned race: white men and violence-- that was my "gross misconduct."

Can we pick a day where everyone quits social media for good and meets up in designated parks and fields to like, run around in slow motion under a clear blue sky? I think we’d need to organize via social media.

Once again I’ve used such a large amount of natural ant killer that *I* want to flee the home. The ants are finding work-arounds.

It’s not the ants but the cracks of the life from which the ants are crawling out of, you know?

Sometimes I suspect every successful person is a time traveler who knows how it ends and is like fuck it and just goes for everything. But also capitalism and self esteem I guess

If I go outside and yell at a helicopter circling in the sky, will my neighbors commit me? (🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻)

Happy Big Moose’s Birthday to all that celebrate! 👶🏻🍰🎉 Cc: @cbbworld.bsky.social Cc: Beebo, Timmy, Toilet & Max

New COLLEGE TOWN! Feat. @lpeezy10.bsky.social & Chris Renfro!! Hosted by Jan & Beebo (me, Seth Morris)! Gay relapse! Friendship marriage! A funeral! & more! Listen! Subscribe! Produced by @scottaukerman.bsky.social @brettmorris.bsky.social @cbbworld.bsky.social www.comedybangbangworld.com

Can’t believe I don’t know this but, do I look tasty to a bear? Or threatening? Or both? Am I a tasty threat?

Sorry I’m late, someone died and I was like this is it, my moment to show the internet I’m a good person.

You can’t keep asking me this when there is no option to “save,” @support.bsky.team @bsky.app Give us drafts so I read my fever dream thoughts the next day and be grateful I never hit send!

New troll alert:

Lotta people itching for gold stars with their angelic little tweets today.

Putting on my reading glasses in order to scroll has added a whole new wretched level to the habit.

what a humiliating way for don jr. to find out his dad sends birthday cards.

I hope if anyone ever yells at me, "The jig is up!" it will be because I kept dancing after the music stopped.

To those who say age is just a number, I say, “He’s that guy who was in that movie- I forget the name-that was about... something to do with the government and had that actress... who was in the sibling show?”

I miss models smiling with their luxuriously moisturized skin. I don’t need to see any more ‘real’ people on Instagram blindly patting gunk onto their faces and leaving it in clumps while they tell me how amazing it is. You can’t even rub in lotion and I’m to trust you?

Help me I keep saying idiotic things all day every day for years and I think it’s my brand now

When multiple leg bruises from god knows what come into style, watch out. I’ll eat you all alive. Magazine covers won’t know from who. Gracing the pages? Honey I’ll be walking haphazardly into them.

People who aren’t into voice notes, do you not imagine scenarios where your friends die and you’re the one at the funeral who can provide a touching and hilarious clip that brings them back to life for a moment?

Listen to Couples Therapy pod w @naomiekperigin.bsky.social @andybeckerman.bsky.social Buy art and zines from @pizzastacy.bsky.social Buy amazing monster pottery from @elizaskinner.bsky.social

The Big Ones (Amanda Lund, Maria Blasucci) Patreon podcast makes me literally lol twice a month. Recent books I loved: I Want to Burn This Place Down @maris.bsky.social, Rehab: an American Scandal (Shoshana Walter) Subscribe to Robyn O’Neil’s Substack u get an original drawing (you will thank me)

Times are tough for artists, writers, and other creative folk. If you have the means, consider signing up for someone's Patreon, or commission some art, or buy a book. Write a skeet about a creative you enjoy. Spread the word about their work.

A baby handed me two acorns one at a time and when I said “Thank you!” he twinkled a little baby grin at me. Cute idiot thought I was a squirrel.