Matt Kirshen
@mattkirshen.bsky.social
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📥 152
📝 239
Writer of the Complete Works of Shakespeare
http://www.mattkirshen.com
pinned post!
New tour dates! Full info and links at
mattkirshen.com
25 days ago
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Matt Kirshen
Sarah Millican
about 4 hours ago
Reminder that my new Special Late Bloomer available internationally to download & stream RIGHT NOW. It’s also available on DVD should you like tangible stuff. Did you see the show live & want to relive it? Did you miss it live & want to watch it? Do you just need a good laugh?
sarahmillican.co.uk
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@grok is it a good or bad thing when the richest man in the world helps pedophiles digitally undress minors?
2 days ago
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Here’s a cool NYE thing: Set the countdown timer on your phone for 109 minutes and if you start it dead on 10:11pm the chimes will coincide exactly with the stroke of midnight!
4 days ago
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Matt Kirshen
Mike Drucker
4 days ago
This is cool as hell
add a skeleton here at some point
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London don’t you dare miss this rare chance
add a skeleton here at some point
4 days ago
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Matt Kirshen
Katie Mack
10 days ago
[breathing a sigh of relief as I carefully remove the poison, hammer, Geiger counter, and radioactive source before helping Tiny Tim out of the box]
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Why does the little drummer boy fart after every line?
11 days ago
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🎵 He’s making a list And checking it twice He’s washing his hands And re-checking the list This is so his parents Won’t die 🎶🎄
11 days ago
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So deeply flattered that not only did
@barackobama.bsky.social
include comedians on his sounds of the year for the first time, he chose my work. Thank you, Mr President.
14 days ago
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It's a shame Tony Montana died before he could show anyone his little friend
16 days ago
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Order nachos on a first date to prepare them for something that starts great and ends in wet, floppy disappointment
18 days ago
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reposted by
Matt Kirshen
Sarah Millican
21 days ago
My brand new Special, Late Bloomer, will be available to stream and download via my website TOMORROW and you can pre-order it now! Stream and Download from
watch.sarahmillican.co.uk
Buy the DVD and exclusive Late Bloomer merch from
shop.sarahmillican.co.uk
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Sarah Millican | Watch Stand Up Specials
Watch all of Sarah Millican’s stand up specials in one place. Stream the full shows online with instant access.
https://watch.sarahmillican.co.uk
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reposted by
Matt Kirshen
Bethany Black
25 days ago
Matt is one of my favourite people and one of the best in the business. Go see him if you enjoy laughing. If you don’t then probably don’t he won’t like that
add a skeleton here at some point
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reposted by
Matt Kirshen
Bethany Black
25 days ago
In M&S buying jeans and wondering when they stopped selling old people clothes and started selling clothes for young hip people like myself
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New tour dates! Full info and links at
mattkirshen.com
25 days ago
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Australia don’t stop with adults only. Treat social media like smoking. Ban it in the workplace — you have to go outside and post in the rain. Have PSAs “Ew I don’t want to kiss you, you’re a poster, you smell of thumbs.”
25 days ago
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🚨ATTENTION 70s BRITISH IMPRESSIONISTS!!🚨 Michael Crawford is a Kennedy Center honoree. Time to dust off the beret. May I suggest “Ooh Bett-sy Ross” or “The cat’s done a whoopsie on the Oval Office seal of the President of the United States” It writes itself
28 days ago
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Is it any and all sex with Hugh Hefner?
29 days ago
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I take back everything I said about the
#worldcupdraw
and would watch a whole series of Wayne Gretzky pronouncing countries
#TheGreatOne
30 days ago
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Remarkable for an event that includes Donald Trump that the most racist thing in the
#worldcupdraw
is Kevin Hart’s lighting
30 days ago
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Crumple zones are woke
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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I’d say Hello back before Scarface shot me
about 1 month ago
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At the very least have your friend photoshop out the stink lines before uploading
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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reposted by
Matt Kirshen
Dara O Briain
about 1 month ago
Watched Bladerunner again last night. Would have been so much better if they had gone with the original idea, that instead of origami unicorns, Edward James Olmos’ character had made balloon animals. “It’s too bad she won’t live; but then again SQUEEEK-SQUEEEK-SQUEEEEEEK-SQUEEEEK Who does?”
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It's cool how in the grand spirit of Silicon Valley reinventing things, Google has now come up with "guy in a bar guessing facts"
about 1 month ago
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reposted by
Matt Kirshen
Bethany Black
about 1 month ago
He’s definitely a polar bear
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Good morning, Bluesky. My wife wishes to know why the
#macysparade
#santa
is dressed as a leather daddy.
about 1 month ago
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Bill Nighy the Actor Gighy
about 1 month ago
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Vaxxed?
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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Such a fun show at the Ryman in Nashville with
@sarahmillican.bsky.social
. Here’s the backstage gang holding the custom printed poster the venue made.
about 1 month ago
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I bet the other cowboys laughed at Jon Bon Jovi and his weird metal horse
about 2 months ago
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reposted by
Matt Kirshen
Sarah Millican
about 2 months ago
Pre-order my new Special, Late Bloomer, NOW!
watch.sarahmillican.co.uk
Also available on DVD here
hmv.com/store/film-t...
Out on 15th Dec!
loading . . .
Sarah Millican | Watch Stand Up Specials
Watch all of Sarah Millican’s stand up specials in one place. Stream the full shows online with instant access.
https://watch.sarahmillican.co.uk
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I’ve never played a Zelda game. If I wanted to, where should I start?
about 2 months ago
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Hotel has a free sign you can hang on your belt
about 2 months ago
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reposted by
Matt Kirshen
James Cook
2 months ago
Anyone else remember Celebrity Traitors in 1995? What a series that was. Michael Parkinson, Gabrielle and Tim Curry as the Traitors. The unlikely friendship between Brian Moore and Art Malik. Mollie Sugden's fart. Adrian Moorhouse's eye-roll. All hosted by Eve Pollard.
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This excellent piece should also be yelled at Keir Starmer
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
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My first gig in Utah and it'll take some beating. Thank you to
@sarahmillican.bsky.social
's rocking audience, which included the lovely duo of Tan France and his husband Rob. My headline shows at Wiseguys are Jan 9 and 10.
www.wiseguyscomedy.com/utah/salt-la...
2 months ago
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St Louis you were great! Thanks
@sarahmillican.bsky.social
for having me open! I’ll be back at Helium Jan 14
st-louis.heliumcomedy.com/shows/339146
2 months ago
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Excellent show with
@sarahmillican.bsky.social
in Minneapolis! Thanks all who came!
2 months ago
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So fun, thanks Milwaukee!
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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Not to brag but I was selected to answer a brief customer survey after this call
3 months ago
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Kids today don’t know the simple pleasure of watching a hard drive defrag
3 months ago
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reposted by
Matt Kirshen
Sarah Millican
3 months ago
Matt tickets for Zanies in Jan
www.etix.com/ticket/p/656...
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Matt Kirshen- Special Event
OVERVIEW Special Event Restrictions 21 and over with valid photo ID Two item minimum purchase per person Seating is first come first served No Coupons or discounts accepted No Backpacks Tickets: Will Call is the ONLY option given when purchasing tickets. We do NOT give physical or digital tickets for entry to our shows. There is nothing to print or pick up ahead of time for entry. Once tickets are purchased, the ONLY thing you will show once doors open is the ticket purchaser’s driver&r...
https://www.etix.com/ticket/p/65679288/matt-kirshenspecial-event-chicago-zanies-chicago
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reposted by
Matt Kirshen
Sarah Millican
3 months ago
Late Bloomer show 311. Brilliant crowd in Chicago tonight. Thanks for coming. My ace support is Matt Kirshen (grab a ticket for his show at Zanies on Jan 13th), my podcast is Standard Issue and mugs are via the USA shop on my website. Back again tomorrow, a few tickets available (via my website).
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An insensitive backstage snack on this of all weekends
3 months ago
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reposted by
Matt Kirshen
Sarah Millican
3 months ago
Chicago! I’m doing shows in you tonight and tomorrow. Who’s coming? There are a few tickets available for each show. Grab them via my website.
sarahmillican.co.uk/late-bloomer...
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Late Bloomer | Sarah Millican | Official Website
Sarah Millican's Late Bloomer tour is coming to the USA! Explore the latest tour dates and get your tickets to see her live across the country.
https://sarahmillican.co.uk/late-bloomer/usa/
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This isn’t hard: the Nobel Prize for Best Song is just the music and lyrics while Best Record includes the production, recording and mixing.
3 months ago
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Matt Kirshen
Stephen Collins
3 months ago
All my comics have happy endings!
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That little plane’s scarily close
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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Londoners! One of the very best,
@garygulman.bsky.social
is at the
@sohotheatre.bsky.social
all week
sohotheatre.com/events/gary-...
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Gary Gulman: Grandiloquent - Soho Theatre
Gary Gulman’s hilarious new show about insecurity, empathy, self-acceptance and how a thoughtful boy learned to use humour, reading and writing to cope with the consequences of his parents’ blunders.
https://sohotheatre.com/events/gary-gulman-grandiloquent/
3 months ago
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