I think this bird works in IKEA.

👏👏👏👏👏👏

I highly recommend doing a herb and spice clear out at the start of the year as it means when you’re looking for the tiny best before date, you only need to see if it’s 25 or less. Here are yesterday’s casualties.

Reminder that my new Special Late Bloomer available internationally to download & stream RIGHT NOW. It’s also available on DVD should you like tangible stuff. Did you see the show live & want to relive it? Did you miss it live & want to watch it? Do you just need a good laugh? sarahmillican.co.uk

That makes sense

It is weird isn’t it?

Yes of course

Hey guys, just found this in the kitchen. No-one knows what it’s called so I’ve named it a ‘non-chocolate orange’. It tastes pretty good and I don’t feel sick if I eat a whole one. Check your kitchen, you might have one too.

Look how much we’ve raised for the Samaritans over the last 3 tours. Massive thanks to my wonderful audiences for this. Some of you will have donated on all 3 tours. I can’t thank you enough.Also, huge thanks to the Samaritans for always turning up & for all they do to help the people who need them.

Happy New Year, everyone.

My brand new Special, Late Bloomer, will be available to stream and download via my website TOMORROW and you can pre-order it now! Stream and Download from watch.sarahmillican.co.uk Buy the DVD and exclusive Late Bloomer merch from shop.sarahmillican.co.uk

Thanks to all of you who’ve been to see Late Bloomer since the tour started in 2023. There are 3 shows left - 2 in Kendal & 1 in Stockholm. You can rewatch the show, or watch it for the first time if you missed it, on Dec 15th! Pre-order the Special right now on DVD or download. sarahmillican.co.uk

My new Special Late Bloomer is out on Dec 15th and is available for pre-order now! watch.sarahmillican.co.uk

Pre-order my new Special, Late Bloomer, NOW! watch.sarahmillican.co.uk Also available on DVD here hmv.com/store/film-t... Out on 15th Dec!

San Francisco! The Masonic have just released tickets for my show this Sunday (2nd Nov). Grab them here sarahmillican.co.uk/late-bloomer...

Seattle! And Portland (OR) ! There are now a few tickets available for these shows starting tonight: Tonight - Seattle - 6 tickets Tomorrow - Portland - 2 tickets Thursday - Seattle - 2 tickets Go to my website. sarahmillican.co.uk/late-bloomer...

My first gig in Utah and it'll take some beating. Thank you to @sarahmillican.bsky.social's rocking audience, which included the lovely duo of Tan France and his husband Rob. My headline shows at Wiseguys are Jan 9 and 10. www.wiseguyscomedy.com/utah/salt-la...

Denver!! TONIGHT! Some restricted view tickets have just been released via my website. Show starts at 8pm. Come along! sarahmillican.co.uk/late-bloomer...

St Louis you were great! Thanks @sarahmillican.bsky.social for having me open! I’ll be back at Helium Jan 14 st-louis.heliumcomedy.com/shows/339146

So fun, thanks Milwaukee!

Late Bloomer show 313. Fabulous crowd in Milwaukee tonight. Thanks for coming if you did. My ace support is Matt Kirshen and my podcast is Standard Issue (give it a listen) and the mugs are available via the USA shop page on my website. Mugs sarahmillican.usa.estoreplatform.com/en/usd

Late Bloomer show 312. Smashing crowd in Chicago tonight. Thanks for coming. My ace support is Matt Kirshen (grab a ticket for his Jan 13 show at Zanies). Huge thanks to our fab photographer Pedram Jahanian. My podcast is Standard Issue and the mugs are available via the USA shop page on my website

Late Bloomer show 311. Brilliant crowd in Chicago tonight. Thanks for coming. My ace support is Matt Kirshen (grab a ticket for his show at Zanies on Jan 13th), my podcast is Standard Issue and mugs are via the USA shop on my website. Back again tomorrow, a few tickets available (via my website).

Chicago! I’m doing shows in you tonight and tomorrow. Who’s coming? There are a few tickets available for each show. Grab them via my website. sarahmillican.co.uk/late-bloomer...

Late Bloomer show 310. Glorious crowd in Minneapolis tonight. Thanks for coming if you did. My ace support is Matt Kirshen, my podcast is Standard Issue (give it a listen) & the mugs are available via the USA shop on my website. spotify.link/aeK6E7mTwXb sarahmillican.usa.estoreplatform.com/en/usd

A story in three parts

Minneapolis! 3 tickets have been released for my show tomorrow and a further 16 for Tuesday. Grab them via my website. sarahmillican.co.uk/late-bloomer...

Minneapolis!! A few tickets have been released for my show at the Orpheum Theatre on 21st October. sarahmillican.co.uk/late-bloomer...

I chew the skin around my nails but never my nails. I’ve always felt like it’s not as bad as chewing your nails. But I’ve just realised it’s because I have shit teeth and I don’t trust that my teeth are harder than my nails.

Tickets released for Newcastle tomorrow!! 3rd last UK tour show of the Late Bloomer. Who’s coming to see me tomorrow at Newcastle City Hall? Previously sold out show now has 18 good seats available. Tickets via my website www.sarahmillican.co.uk

Thank you for watching Bobby Dazzler. Please join my mailing list to hear about any future releases. Http://www.sarahmillican.co.uk

If you need a laugh tonight…. If you have access to Channel 4, my last show (no, not the final one & no, not the current one I’m touring) is on television tonight at 10:35pm. If you don’t have access to that channel, you can watch the full show via my website (link in bio). Hope it makes you laugh.

Montreal! 18 tickets have just been released for my show tonight. Starts at 8pm if you fancy a bloody good laugh. www.placedesarts.com/en/event/sar...

We’ve managed to release a limited number of tickets for my show in Ottawa on Saturday 27th September. They are partial view and available to book via my website NOW. To unlock the tickets please enter the passcode LATEBLOOMER when prompted. Tickets via my website. www.tdplace.ca/event/sarah-...

Melbourne pals!! My excellent and very funny friend Kirsty Webeck is recording her Special this Thursday & would love you to go! Tickets are $35 & it’s 6:15-7:15pm so you can have your pyjamas on so early! She’s so funny.Grab a ticket and have a brilliant time. www.trybooking.com/events/landi...

BBC Sounds has full shows*, recorded live, from @sarahmillican.bsky.social, Tom Allen and Suzi Ruffell! #comedy *each split into four episodes, but if you download/subscribe, they should just play back to back

Unbelievably tonight’s venue in Providence, Rhode Island have just released 14 tickets so if any of you are spontaneous, available, local and fancy a laugh, click the link below and come along. Show starts at 8pm. thevets.evenue.net/events/MILL?...

Hugs to those who find Father's Day a struggle. Whether you don't get on, he's no longer here, you can’t be with him or whatever your story, I'm sending love xxx

Washington, DC! Some info re tonight’s show. Tonight’s show at DAR Constitution Hall is going ahead as planned. The team in DC is in contact with local authorities and can confirm that the venue is accessible.

Info for Washington DC show tomorrow.

Re tomorrow’s show in Washington DC, we have seen your concerns and will be back soon with information. Thanks

Columbus, Ohio! Tonight’s venue Southern Theater has just released 16 tickets in the Orchestra section for tonight (I don’t know why they didn’t do it earlier either). So if you’re local and free tonight and like laughing, grab a ticket sarahmillican.co.uk/late-bloomer.... Show starts at 8pm.

Washington DC! Some side view tickets either side of the stage have been released for my show next Friday. Treat yourself. sarahmillican.co.uk/late-bloomer...

Thanks to everyone who came to see me in Europe. So. Much. Fun. Next up is America. Tickets are available here sarahmillican.co.uk My podcast is @standardissueuk.bsky.social

If you press the bottom of the cylinder, her legs collapse

Thanks to everyone who came to see me in Canada. We had a blast. Next up is Barcelona, Gibraltar, Rotterdam, Amsterdam and Brussels then the US. Tickets are available here sarahmillican.co.uk My podcast is @standardissueuk.bsky.social

I’m on tour! Currently in Canada (tix left for Vancouver & Ottawa). Next up: Europe, Carlisle (UK) & the USA. Aus, NZ & UK tours (aside from Carlisle) are over now. Tickets here sarahmillican.co.uk My support act is @sallyannecomedy.bsky.social My podcast is @standardissueuk.bsky.social

🚨CANADA!🚨 Edmonton! Some tickets have been released for both of my shows. They are a side view of the stage. They will go very quickly. Do not dilly dally. www.winspearcentre.com/tickets/?eso...

Adelaide! Badge news! Badges now available from the Adelaide box office if you missed out on the night. They can be collected anytime from 10am-5pm Mon-Fri and also on event nights from Box Office. Box Office address is 98 Port Road, Hindmarsh SA 5007.

Hugs to those who find Mother's Day a struggle. Whether you don't get on, she's no longer here, you can’t be with her or whatever your story, I'm sending love xxx