this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier

Stunning new revelation: Epstein hung out almost exclusively with guys who had black boxes where their heads should be.

The Epstein Files, everybody!

hi - new stuff internettoday.myshopify.com/collections/...

Samus brings hope. ⟪ My Links | My Sticker Shop ⟫

Netflix Confirms Cancel Membership Button Will Be Leaving Streaming Service Next Month

here’s my official comment on the Netflix/WB news xx

The guy shot two random people with a gun, I don't think you can say he wasn't assimilating into our culture

Man Getting High And Eating Taco Bell Thousands Of Miles Away From Family Having Best Thanksgiving Of Life https://theonion.com/man-getting-high-and-eating-taco-bell-thousands-of-mile-1845721340/

On this day, Indigenous people and allies confront the settler-colonial narratives of “Thanksgiving,” observing it instead as a National Day of Mourning.

If you see this, post an anime you love

Patcanery (credit to u/Anonamaton801 for the idea)

A Trump quote without his face or voice - Trump without Trump. The quote is unedited and 100% accurate. This is from the McDonald's Impact Summit on November 17, 2025 - The drip drip water.

I think the President of the US responding to a question about the murder of a journalist with "A lot of people didn't like that gentleman" is probably pretty bad.

those hitboxes are crazy

jpeg

the new Steam Machine looks pretty kool

Lauren Boebert showing more spine than Chuck Schumer. And she's going up against a guy most famous for exacting revenge. Schumer is folding for The Baileys, some imaginary friends he made up.

that's one of mine that, if i'm not mistaken 🫡

Evergreen tweet

shitfaced jamaal bowman saying this is so fuckin funny i feel so seen right now

MAMDANI: “.. I am here to admit something. They are right. We are an existential threat to billionaires who think their money can buy our democracy.” @time.com time.com/7331119/zohr...

Zohran Mamdani polled +40% on men under 30. So we wasted all that time on all those think pieces about how we need a Joe Rogan for the left, when what we actually needed were *policies* for the left.

the reason republicans lost yesterday is because theyre a bunch of weird freaks pushing policy that everyone hates

Chuck Schumer should keep the hype train going and resign!

A few days after the presidential election one year ago, we went to Fordham Road in the Bronx. It was a little different last week.

😎😎😎😎 GOOD THINGS CAN STILL HAPPEN 😎😎😎😎

2026 Primary Woke Wave

Woke 2 has arrived.

Good things are possible and we don’t have to settle.

Good things are possible and we don’t have to settle.

it’s not enough. i challenge andrew cuomo to a 1v1 in super smash bros. i need to watch him lose something a third time

yeah that's right eat shit AGAIN cuomo you filthy sex pest fuck

There are more of us than there are of them.

genuinely beautiful that new york elected a muslim lefty mayor the same day that dick cheney died

Trump Says He Won’t Rule Out Third Reich

The clown is the one with the psychology degree btw

we love edgy jokes about gas chambers and rape unless it’s jokes about charlie kirk dying, which if you do that, you’ll be punished and deported and free speech revoked

Both sides of a conflict are calling each other evil and corrupt, rendering me, a humble journalist, helpless to discern the truth. Best I can do is let you know that both sides are in fact saying those things. Hope this helps

Jason's emote in Fortnite

Evil ass company doing evil ass things. Riot doesn’t deserve a single dollar ever again after their workplace practices came into the spotlight, but here we are. I’m sure they’ll make bank despite everything.