I'd say Groal the Great can go directly to hell, but honestly Bilewater is a fate far worse

Shawty eat so many Takis, their pussy kinda spicy

Three ICE detainees were fucking shot and they're still fucking claiming it was targeting the gestapo themselves. "'ANTI-ICE' was carved on one of the casings!" This is literally the white people who wrote "blacks rule" on their own driveway again, they aren't even trying

Zionist propaganda on my drive home from work got covered by a gutter cleaning ad lmfao

🌹 no room for fascists 🌹

I'm at a bar and the cover band finally got people on the dance floor, only to instantly change from a mash-up of high energy dance songs. To NICKELBACK

"Who is ska?" Actual question asked by a friend of a friend 😔

Shawty got a yeast infection, call that a bread box

I really don’t want to talk about this all day but this snapped something inside of me. Spare me the fucking homilies, these people are fucking cretins and the only concern I have at this point is to what extent these hypocrites will use this to justify further violence.

NEW SHOWS ANNOUNCED! Get tickets now! stackedlikepancakes.com/shows

"Please, for the love of god, never call my pussy non-newtonian ever again"

One large quad shot latte no breakfast

Twinky Greco-Roman femboys went to war for bodies like this

"Source: My urethra. Am I right, ladies?"

The cat keeps playing in our packing materials, and has taken a liking to plastic bags. My attempt to trying to get them away from her resulted in two bites, and her nesting again in the exact same fucking place not 60 seconds later

You know the pussy gonna be good when her guitar has a tuner attached and several years of dust layered on top.

Clippy deserves no love

I forgot the sheer amount of absolute cunt I was serving at a wedding this time last year

Smorking da w33ds

perfect character design exists and it comes in the form of mechanic women with big pants

GOT MAAM'D AT AN AUTO SHOP LETS GOOOOOO

SEPTEMBER 4TH BAYBEEEEE SILKSONG IS HAPPENING

I was trying to Minecraft Steve walk in place and Annie says "Woah, easy there white chocolate"

the ai bubble is bursting soon thank god

"If you shit yourself, you shit yourself"

I Nickelodeon Slime'd all up in there

bout to turn up some ai generated music in the nursing home and slowly lose our grip on reality as the night progresses - call that velvet sundowning

No no, I think normalization of AI in the hiring process is a brilliant idea for corporate America, it doesn't make me want to bash my skull in with a hammer that I tell your chatbot that I can't interview at the single time slot I'm being offered and it schedules me for it anyway

If you're still playing a Solgaleo ex deck you're probably a terrible person

Gender affirming underboob sweat

i have PTSD. Pussy That's So Dangerous

PSA

Before I transitioned, old men wanted me. After transitioning, old men want me dead. Full circle baybee!!!

Getting married means unlocking new kinks! Such as: extra-marital sex

Me: "The fog is coming" Annie: "Me with some nonbinary bitch named Fog"

Marrying my girlfriend of two years, but strictly for political reasons

Wait is there a brand of social media discourse now that's just men being upset about women reading books that contain sex? Are we at this level of puritanism again? That women can't engage with sex in media or else they're looked down upon as evil perverts?

I love engaging in Lesbian™ Activities such as: Yearning Missing my wife Missing my girlfriend Et cetera

I'm gonna learn the Freedom leitmotif in every key so I can bust it out any time I need to riff for 8 bars

I think Allstate should go out of business immediately. I'm not even a policyholder, one of their customers hit my (parked) car and now they're giving me hell for trying to get what the dealership's estimate for repairs was

Both of my girlfriends visited me at work today, completely uncoordinated 🥺🥺

i believe in a two state solution i want two state that from river to the sea palestine will be free

I just replaced the water filter and cleaned the pitcher and immediately drank so much water my tummy hurt (I was dehydrated and was waiting on my wife to get home with the new filter)

Mindful minute: Weird Al canonically fucked Pinkie Pie

Giving the cop that killed Breonna Taylor less than 3 years prison is fucking heinous. The trial dragged on longer than that!!!

ACAB includes Undyne Deltarune and Napstablook Deltarune

Bnui :3

I suppose it was inevitable, but I've been talked into trying Magic and I really like it

Annie: *loudly opens the bathroom door while I'm pissing, holding out a jar while I'm still in shock* "I just wanted to share my new overnight oats recipe"