*nodding sagely* this is all dylan mulvaney's fault

its so weird how you can have so much love for your ex but then every time you talk to each other you want to kill yourself they should invent a name for this emotion

its kinda weird the only things ever referred to as "novelties" are grocery store ice cream and sex toys like what about ice cream means you need to censor it like that my guy

boston lex never fails to deliver

brute-forcing voice training by punching myself in the balls every hour

you either die based or live long enough to see yourself become woke

if we find aliens and they DONT have better stuff than us ill highkey crash out

"the turtles are playing magic on a card" none of you were whining when magicked card was printed im actually getting real life tilted about the hypocrisy here

"magic is a joke now" "this is too far" oh im sorry is 'mutated turtle ninjas' less serious than 'le epic meme cactus deals 10000 damage!'? your ridiculous franchise is not a better 'fit' for magic than this one is yall were right to say "let people enjoy things" now follow your own advice

oh am i supposed to be upset now that Sword of Hearth and Home is now a pizza cutter? no, fuck you all you weebs were so gung-ho for the slop when it was otter-penguins and spiky-hair anime boy who hangs out with mickey mouse this is what magic is now, get over it. i did!

im politically homeless within the left {i find both hasan and newsome insufferable}

mfs be like "the alphabet mafia isnt real" okay then explain this

you: in a catholic schoolgirl fit me: also in the same fit location: closet in my apartment scene: making out and softly whimpering while pretending we dont want headmistress to find out

I WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN PLEASE MAKE THIS HAPPEN

go go gadget car exhaust

Hot girl I met at the Boston Public Market is my former boss' daughter who i met a single time at a luncheon i have such an eye for cringe bisexual women, i meet them once and apparently lock in their coordinates forever

there are three genders

VINDICATED

had a dream that i had a third eye socket but it was constantly bleeding and had no eye but kept oozing eye-sized blood clots it was very souls-core

groupchat is arguing about the move to putting farewell in gamechanger category & its looped back to the classic "commander players are bad and never run enough removal" conclusion

good morning its a beautiful new day in coastal america

woke is back but its latino this time they're calling it despertó

gaga at the superbowl woke is so back

when i was in highschool i put on a fagccent so more emo girls would hang out with me it was like comphomo, i wanted attention from queer girlies so i pretended to be fruitier than i was

FUCK YEAH I LOVE MY COUNTRY MASSACHUSETTS

i had a dream i met biggie smalls in one of the section 8 apartments i grew up in and he told me i was fake then i had a dream i was in an internship program at a fortune 500 and an evil twink was encouraging me to let go of caring for other people and become a capitalist

JD Vance looks like yassified Chucky

can i get some opinions on this card? pros: its removal, its a counterspell, its graveyard hate, its kind of protection, and its recursion cons: 3 mana, pip intensive the deck would be atraxa bracket 3 or derevi bracket 4

hey @gavinverhey.bsky.social yall should unban balance bc its cool and also its balanced it says so in the name i promise i will be responsible and only use it fairly and can be trusted with it thx

whenever a magic player refers to "Yellowhat" i just picture this

this was the coolest vintage cube deck ive ever built holy shit

i am NOT a woman, i am an agp closeted theyfab butch lesbian female crossdresser MILF with a forcefem kink. learn the difference!!!

if italians are white then why is the spaghetti in the "international" isle at my grocery store huh

cancelled for not following ableism-informed post-covid masking policies while at the no loads refused pimped out cumdump event

this is my biggest hubris fr i would easily be happy with more money im built different

i love being just a community member dawg went to the deli today for a sandwich and all these people were like "oh i was asking about you the other day we were wondering where you went" makes me want to kill myself less when shit gets bad to be like 'oh that would make the deli sandwich lady sad'

remember when the high and mighty centrists told kamala to run her campaign centering 'joy' and it resonated with fucking no one? 'intellectual sophistication' is when you're in touch with reality apparently

"its like if clothing was bondage" -

protesting bsky banning dril by making all my posts available on twitter 5 minutes after i post them here

i got free finally cost me 20 minutes of desperate whimpering struggle and getting so wet i soaked through my panties but hey that's showbiz

getting insanely horny as i struggle to take off the dress im wearing it has a zipper that goes up so high on my neck i struggle to take it off myself its like if clothing was bondage

im nonbinary like how Queen Marika is nonbinary {i look and act like a woman but if i gamer rage hard enough i turn into an angry twink}

Me, playing bg3 for the 6th time Pres. Donald J Trump 🤝 Publicly humiliated by Shart

PUBLIC DISREGARD THIS MESSAGE!! 68239 ALPHA ROMEO TARRAGON 6969420 TATER TOT GHG ELMO BRAVO SPHINCTER AGAIN PUBLIC DISREGARD THIS MESSAGE #RESIST #ALTUSPOSTALSERVICE

like which seems more plausible huh? bush, 2000: "my uhhh... numbers are down. people dont like me. uhh... uhh how about a war, rally round the flag and all that" epstein, 2007: 'hel lo my freind mr activision ceo . i agree that sexxy children should do gambling on call of duty. xx jeff <3'

okay, but if "billionaire pedophiles conspired to fill video games with microtransactions to indoctrinate children into capitalism" is real, how am i supposed to make fun of people for thinking 9/11 was in inside job because one of these makes way more sense than the other my guy

i always thought id be a great billionaire but it turns out my emails are too coherent and well formatted and also i dont kill enough people

hello internet i am so so so eepy

broke: problematic age gap discourse woke: problematic follower gap discourse bespoke: problematic nuerotypicality gap discourse