Options: Privacy Settings: Turn On Optional Connected Experiences What in the FUCK why are my templates “optional connected experiences?” Everyone involved in the bullshit they turned a perfectly functional email client into should have never ending inflamed hemorrhoids.

Somehow the Outlook update deleted my templates? I used to be able to open a new a message, click View Templates, and bam! There’s an email. View Templates is GONE. It’s on everyone else’s Outlook. I reset all customizations and it’s still gone. I’m so fucking mad.

Finally, my main man @fluxblog.bsky.social has posted a marvelous glam rock playlist, and I helped! Matthew has an incredible ear — there are BANGERS on here even I'd never heard Apple music.apple.com/us/playlist/... Spotify open.spotify.com/playlist/3Oy... YouTube www.youtube.com/playlist?lis...

THIS BABY DEFEATED MESSI

Couldn’t get tickets to the Greek movie but we’re eating Greek food and I can’t imagine any film is better than this plate of flaming cheese

I saw Jimothy! He was drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic’s, and his hair was perfect.

New aquarium is set up! 2.5 gallons, no filter, once the water cycles and plants are set I’ll add a shrimp colony.

Texas is our coolest state, and also our most evil, and it’s not gonna let you just pick one of those

My four favourite facts about the cockchafer beetle: 1. It's called a cockchafer beetle. 2. It’s also sometimes known as a “billywitch”. 3. It’s unusually loud and clumsy by beetle standards and bangs into lots of things when it flies into your house by mistake. 4. It looks like this, close up.

Measured and Slow is officially back from vacation, and to celebrate we are having a sale! 20% off all orders for the next week 🥰 measuredandslow.studio

Dale Mascara is bound for Cooperstown

Otis and I have been rearranging furniture and cleaning

This makes me angry why did no one tell us lol

My assistant, cutting me off mid-rant because I can’t find the exclamation button so this bitch will know my email is SRS BZNS, “Honey have you had breakfast?”

Our software at work updated and now my Outlook looks *completely* different. It used to be dark but now it’s white and tiny and all the icons are different and it’s TOO MUCH CHANGE. My entire job is email and I’ve stared at the same set up for five years; this is breaking my brain 😂

Do you like birds? How about pen pals? Roost is an adorable free app where you collect birds and use them to send messages to your friends or anonymous pen pals all over the globe. It’s fun! roostsocial.app/invite/F37N35 Join the flock on Roost! Get a free bird when you sign up with my code F37N35.

When a narcissist has been a huge asshole and one person tells them:

Reminder that if your response to “this thing happened and it sucks” is “AND YOU’RE SURPRISED BY IT????” it should be legal for me to come to your workplace and microwave fish in the break room

Seriously, just read the full piece. It's short, it's bullet points — and unlike RFK Jr's HHS, it'll tell you about the treatment that's effective against Cyclosporiasis — and even where, if you're so inclined, you can buy it tonight www.patreon.com/mattbc/posts...

I had a FANTASTIC show at Newburyport Art Association today! Flowers are very popular subjects, and I have a few more hydrangea paintings left on my site: xingcat.bigcartel.com/category/flo...

Lightning bugs that glow in the dark! 🥰

I really hope it was an illness that was preventable when we had a functioning government 🤞

I can not respect a sport where you intentionally trip yourself for strategery. Don’t explain to me why I should.

Do you need more reasons to cheer for Norway? I got you babe

🧵Spotted at a Matariki* Night Market in Aotearoa New Zealand: A young human (8?) is being address by his incredulous mum who's saying: "I gave ya $36 dollars! You went to get a donuts! Where's the change?!" Young Human looks sheepish. "I uhm... got a lot of donuts?" (1)

I’m so wound up I’m pacing the house looking for little tasks like a shark that can’t stop swimming. Pretty sure it’s the steroids for my hand but Benadryl and sleepy tea have done NOTHING. I re-potted an orchid, cleaned the kitchen & floor, emptied my sock drawer & purged a bunch of clothes.

Writers, poets, photographers, artists, artisans, academics, activists, musicians, bohemians, beats, boozers, booksellers, radicals... do you require a website or have a website that's in need of a lick of paint? Hit me up. I don't charge the earth.

Gullible is one word one could use. One could also say complicit.

GI just called and the results from my scope are all benign/ negative for yucky stuff. Don’t know what triggered the gastritis but there aren’t any going concerns to worry about 👍

Flavor Flav and Paris Hilton teaming up to handle the US women's hockey team travel for an awards show is the crossover event I didn't know I needed

Another website I made I'm really proud of. Get in touch if you'd like a website. I don't charge the earth and seem to have carved out a niche for making websites for writers and artists... probably because I don't charge the earth.

Jamie Davis hasn’t been credibly accused of any crimes and is actually blue collar from one of the poorest places in this country. There’s no incumbent in his race. If y’all wanna make a difference we could try to flip the Senate without Maine. jamieforlouisiana.com

WAIT FOR IT WAIT. FOR. IT! 🪶 🐣

omg Mme Applebottom’s boychild just did the Truffle Shuffle & i’m dyinggggg

It’s an injured tendon apparently! From sleeping wrong; because this side of 50 is a never ending delight. Drugs, ice, and ibuprofen cream so I should stop crying about it in a week-ish.

Found a specialist nearby with an opening today!!! Waiting on insurance approval but hopefully I’ll get some answers or at least another shot/ some kind of pain relief

Discharged. They think it’s nerve or tendon irritation and I just need to follow up with a hand specialist. They gave me a shot and a pill that made me stop crying at least.

Did an ultrasound to rule out a blood clot because this is the same arm that my IV was in last week. I’ve never had lube in my armpit before!

Two people have mentioned gout like I’m Henry the fucking eighth but the pain isn’t in my joints and they’re not sensitive to touch. No redness or warmth like an infection but my hand is swollen. If the X-ray doesn’t show anything I’ll cry (again)

Urgent Care says I need an x-ray but oh we don’t have x-ray tech scheduled on Mondays. Do I want to drive to their other office that’s 35 minutes away? Anyway, I had a big snotty crying fit in my car and I’m back at the same fucking ER I was at last week.

I’m sure my bosses are thrilled that I’m not back in the office when I said I would be 😩

Woke up with a sore right wrist yesterday. This morning moving my fingers or wrist is agony. It feels like I assume broken bones would feel? But I didn’t do anything! I had a bit of a meltdown this morning, about the current out of control status of my body 😭

Hubs is watching a dumb action show and a plot point is someone buying a house w/cash and all the paperwork is WRONG a cash buyer doesn’t HAVE a deed of trust and no her kid can’t sign the DEED to “always own the house” and now Hubs is all “do you want me to turn it off or can you stop?”

I hope Mexico beats England today as revenge for Mexico week on the Great British Bake-off

Same George. Same. 🫤

{Deleted my last post because it feels unnecessarily bitchy }

This is extremely kellie-coded 😂

If It Happens this weekend I can’t drink to celebrate and you know what? I’m fine taking one for the team on this.