Getting it delivered to my door each morning on fresh newsprint to take with my coffee

Presented without comment

You should be able to email a smell to someone

I’m running HyperMall at Hal-Con in a couple weeks so this is perfect time for anyone coming to study the scripture 🙏🏻

Watching baseball. Can’t help but picture one of the mariners players with their soulless eyes doing a promo where they’re like “I love going home after practice to play my nintender switch two.”

Woke up from a dream where you could order an Uber “pissboy” was told it’s like an Uber XL but wrong.

when my enemies rush me in a hallway and I have a hammer, I simply do an Oldboy

The instinct to paywall clans is such classic White Wolf shit. Plus no Nosferatu and Malkavian (aside from voice in the head ig?). The worst thing about VTM is the official material, can’t wait to see if Bloodlines 2 follows the trend.

🫡

metal piñata you have to shoot with guns

Anyone ever thinking about a dog named Pitbull (not a pitbull) who looks like the singer??

Fun fact! In the original script of Disney’s Hercules. I Can Go Th Distance was about opening other people’s mail. Disney’s Hercules was all about taking a pro mail fraud stance.

Has telling someone to Go to Hell fallen off? Feels like you don’t hear that much anymore.

modern problems etc

I’m always saying this.

Didn’t we already run through a cycle of studio Ghibli ai slop recently?? Why are we doing it again???

If you’re into table top games and aren’t playing HyperMall what the fuck is wrong with you. Get to a hospital and have that checked out!!!!

If we find 3 more accounts we can finally create Martha Stewart Exodia 🙏🏻🤑

No Nut Narch

It’s be nuts if it turned out Sasquatch had an Elvis voice.

#memes #stinkylittlememesfordaddy

Taking a big risk getting a key lime pie flavored protein bar for lunch today. Excited to report back.

they should add a Don’t Want To Watch button on Letterboxd

#memes #stinkylittlememesfordaddy

Making a new twitter account after Elon came out as a nazi is such a deranged move but maybe she’s getting back in the knee business….

Currently writing part 2 of Dracula in Space for my weekly game. Editing Werewolf Ballbusters Extreme for a game jam Considering writing a Kids On Bikes where they do the movie Red Dawn for two weeks from now.

Been waiting to show off this bad boy

@animesickos.bsky.social after a long dumb week I finally got my shirt in the mail!! Cheers to the freakin weekend fellas this shirt kicks even more ass irl

What’s up Castration Nation it’s 97.5 FM Eunuch Radio, live from the Imperial Palace! We’re bringing you nonstop beats, so stop scheming and start groovin!

Trying to fit in at the office: oh my weekend plans? Well I got the new ranch flavored takis so that should keep me busy.

I ran a game the other day and made a series of shining references and this scene had been universally forgotten by the table smh.

Ah shit, I was gonna make this joke but we got a lotta people already on it. That’s a wrap I guess, sorry folks no “Christmas songs if Jesus was evil be like: oh come let us abhor him”

Been seeing a lot of posts asking the correct way to eat a burrito. The answer is to stand it up on the end and bring your face down to it instead of bringing it to your face

if i was a crab in a bucket, i'd be at the top of the heap and escape through my own gumption

imo The Ramones should’ve recorded a Pet Sematary-esque song for every Stephen King film adaptation, e.g. 🎶I don’t want to be dining at the hotel from The Shining/ I don’t want a blowjob from a bear🎶

Evening plans

What do you think the Noid’s home life is like?

5 faves (I think like 2 real people follow me so I’m not tagging shit) food: popcorn drink: admittedly gross regional soda, Moxie season: fall colour: blue anime: tossup between One Piece, Death Note and Samurai Champloo.

It’s the time that we think about new years resolutions and I’m looking at irony poisoning myself into Scientology

Rifling my urethra for greater distance and accuracy

“Gods big ass tits looming over amazon warehouse”

I love this time of yeah when the news gives us all the heartwarming headlines for Christmas.

Are people really out here reading “think pieces?” Because you could be reading Fist of the North Star, a comic where a guy is so good at karate that he can do a punch that makes your own body walk itself backwards into Hell.

Something deeply untrustworthy about atms that make your put in the card sideways.