MENSWEAR GUY: Furthermore, you’ve neglected to even cut the vents of the shockingly poor-fitting sport coat you’ve, for some reason, chosen to wear to breakfast MAN WHO STILL WEARS A THREADLESS TEE FROM 2003 WITH TWO ANTHROPOMORPHIC HOUSES HUGGING UNDER THE TEXT “HOMIES”: haha get his ass derek

this place is doomed if the biggest shitheads are ostracized. It’s curtains for you if you don’t take that spam call. game over if you don’t step in that dog shit over there right this second

[doctor coming to brief my family in the waiting room] He's awake and posting.

Wow… all this animosity towards CEOs in the healthcare industry. Almost like someone could run a political campaign against them and be extremely successful

Now that I'm down 40 lbs from summer I can say definitely that winter sucks a lot more now

Who up cybering they monday

(pike held up to my neck) you will never exit the rental market. you will be forced out of your apartment every two years for the rest of your life. you will never know peace and security. you see, mommy blackrock and people with generational wealth need secure returns on investment

Tomorrow is not guaranteed, thug it out today

Smoking bar, Creed blaring, national treasure and 06 family guy on the tvs. I've never been so back

YOU DON’T NEED TO DEFROST THE TURKEY IF YOU’RE DEEP FRYING. JUST TOSS THAT FROZEN BAD BOI RIGHT INTO THE BUBBLING HOT OIL. PREFERABLY INDOORS.

Engagement farming? You mean senior year of college in the south

this gets to the point i keep making. to the media elites who are obsessed with anti-wokeness, something like mass deportation is a total abstraction whereas they are annoyed, on a daily basis, by their supposedly “woke” younger colleagues and social media antagonists

waterboarding my inner child

It’s so refreshing to spend time in a feed that’s isn’t being artificially pumped full of right wing propaganda all the time

He has a problem

i must be julian casablancas the way the strokes got her asking is this it

At least here I only have to mute the annoying bluemaga and not 100 christofascists a day

Unlike Trump I would have normal cabinet members like the davinki twins as my Communications director and the property brothers as head of HUD.

only consuming bad news online every day is probably good for your mental health overall

Looking for 1,000,000,000 of my closest friends

If you're new and your feed is empty, remember you can add more feeds

Jokes on you I never had a reply guy that I didn't hate

Everyone on here is such an up and coming account looking for 10 likes

im praying to counteract the other prayers

so far the only explanation i've seen that doesn't smack of "if only she'd listen to me she would have won" is "global discontent with incumbents because of inflation and post-pandemic malaise + toxic information environments"

ketchup diagram

How you know Elon announced a new feature on Twitter

he missed me

uhh, yeah man. this spice is sort of awesome. like, praise be to the shai-hulud and shit.

WE WILL RELEASE A NEW TWITTER CLONE EVERY HOUR UNTIL OUR DEMANDS ARE MET

forests haunted

Slap that like button if you hate what america stands for but you love grilling brother

cracker should not be considered a slur on here. what is happening to society that crackers like me can’t be called crackers. grow up

i just love bluesky bc i can do only mutual feed and just like a pic of whatever sandwich my friends are eating nice 👍🏻

guess where we’re complaining about it now bitch

🥹

whats a movie less than 60% on rotten tomatoes that you consider to be a perfect movie? like not a bit, genuinely perfect film. A Knight’s Tale

holy shit right under the wire