I’ve been going to the same little Taiwanese nail lady for five years, these new age nail techs won’t get me!!

It’s time for Beatrix Potter Spring

This massage chair I’m getting my pedicure in right now is sending me to the heavenly plane

I am the fun rich auntie in Millie’s world

Baddies Battling Burnout @hauntedmck.bsky.social

“How good and well behaved of us to be in bed so early!” Me and my boyfriend say to each other as we kiss good night at 3am Chat we r so cooked

Copious amounts of caffeine at 8pm won’t hurt me bc it knows I’m pure of heart

Got asked about my ex and had to hit the PR response “we just wanted different things, wish him the best tho!” instead of:

Dude the Russian was one of carrie’s worst boyfriends and nobody ever talks about ittttt

“I really just want one boyfriend but if I’m forced to have twoooo I mean I guesssss” @connor-edwards.bsky.social

Yk what, my bad Snapchat…insane photo of me to have gone unposted u right

I think I could survive on big bowl of chickpea salad alone

I keep accumulating articles of clothing that would have @hottubheiress.bsky.social squealing with delight if she saw how cute I am in them

11pm meal prep

Nathaniel has been singing a remix of Sound of Music he wrote called “Sound of Baby” where he replaces all the lyrics with lyrics about how cute I am. Hoping this continues for the rest of the theatre season

Happy birthday to miss bunny! How very grateful we all are for the romantic, whimsical, dreamy and imaginative shooting star that brought you down to our mortal plane 💫🐰☁️ @baby-bunnicula.bsky.social

March 6th (assuming no unforeseen technical difficulties) You’re the first to know

Work week so hard @chloesgeekbar.bsky.social actually hit a sincere “we really are like family here” lmfaoo she right tho love yall

Boyfriend is coming up with a “five five five challenge” where he gives me five treats, five orgasms, and we watch five movies on our off day. ???

Nathaniel’s little brother is hosting a backyard boxing match in lieu of a housewarming party and I’m delighted by this sort of shenanigan

All my coworkers should be very grateful I had morning sex before this shift. They would be in considerable danger otherwise

The future is Mezcal

IM SO GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE

After 7 months I have begrudgingly acquired WiFi for my home

Save me Memphis kwik chek save me

Just remembered I was knighted Millie’s godmother

Does anyone have the time?

As a birthday gift to @idealover.bsky.social I am revealing to everyone that 13 year old Sarah had all his high school band (Mind Not The Timid) songs downloaded onto her iPod shuffle and had quite the celeb crush on him

Every time I misread a step or incorrectly measure an ingredient I am transported back to a traumatic evening involving 13 year old me, an ill fated attempt at youth group brownies, and @hottubheiress.bsky.social being my saving grace consoling a hysterical middle school Sarah

Every time I bake I want to claw my eyes out with my fingernails and bang my head against the hot stove full force

Apartment maintenance inspecting my floor hole: “wow, you really do have reason for legitimate concern” NO SHIT, THERE IS NO FLOOR THERE SIR!!

You’re in his DM’s, I’m free bleeding in his boxers

The concept of falling through the floor of your apartment while asleep and then having to listen to your most overstimulating coworker yap about pepperoni cocktails and basil oil milk

I need to own a pair of overalls

Westward Expansion HATES to see me and @0rganboy.bsky.social coming

I know I say I have a lot of opps but truly I only have one. Kroger on union ave you are my ENEMY.

Felt my period coming on a few days early so I had to deep clean my house in a frenzy bc if the first day of my period arrives and I’m living in any state of mess I will begin to experience symptoms of hysteria

Hour and a half enthusiastic debrief after trying out a new kink

I am the “I love my man” final boss and to you all that must be sickening but to me it is just Monday

Sometimes when some leaves you from snuggling in your bed it feels so wretched and lonely I cannot imagine what postpartum must be like

Texting my actual boss core

This is the single coolest character to have ever graced the television screen ever point blank period

Bad news for my haters: my glamorous fresh blowout from the daytime turned into a perfectly chic tousled updo for my night shift.

My boyfriend is dreaming about the country of Utrecht and their historically accurate peace treaties

Millie survived!

Just started playing stardew valley

I want to go to Pitbull’s tour