Nice to know guys are still out there wonderwalling women

It’s all about that posterior chain man

When I haven’t worn leggings in a long time I’m like woah, ass!

Male chefs looove to use “sexy” as a descriptor for food and I fucking hate it

I dreamed I saw 5 ginormous orca whales frolicking in the ocean but everyone else missed because they were watching football. Let that be a lesson to some of you.

@hotstotam.bsky.social set tonight made me feel like how it is to watch the movie Lady Bird, and I will not elaborate further

Maybe I like it when men wear those weight lifting belts…like yeah snatch that waist 🪢

Whatsitgonna take to get you all to the beach

I keep trying to gaslight Tyler into thinking Cornerback is not a real football position. “I think what you’re trying to say is QUARTERBACK rightttt???”

I never know, is it ears in or ears out with a bandana?

I’m going to take a little nap now

My yoga pants make me feel built like a my little pony

I love how the homies all get a private screening of The Matrix at our historic theater because @joe-binky.bsky.social was the strongest in the land on one fine Octoberfest day

Trying to #bebrave about daylight savings time

I wish these photos could see the light of day

A couple from your beautiful nightmares

@kailsalad.bsky.social let down her hair and we all collectively died a thousand deaths

I love #fakefriday 🤡

A dog that is all right angles

Not a single Franken-cock scene?? What restraint!!

Hot glue gun burn just to feel something

@kailsalad.bsky.social came through with the pixssss

You wouldn’t get it….i murmur as i lovingly put together a bedtime snack of blue cheese and dark chocolate stuffed dates

Instead of a slut walk at Deadly, can we have a show and tell where we explain all of things we DIYed for our costume

One weeks allotment of heavy metals, straight to the dome!

I’m a little bit been drinking

Just sewed a pair of shorts no person, real or imagined, could ever fit into

My biggest limitation with line dance choreography, sewing a pattern, parallel parking, and winged eyeliner is that it’s hard for me to do anything in reverse 😓

The world really opens up for you once you realize you can make anything with clay, wire, and soggy paper

Droning male vocalists are so back

Sour patch kids EXTREME are so close to being sour in a way that excites me

Dude drop the address, I’m so there

A dreary Monday all for me 👻

Big white absence at the gym

All I do is win win win no matter what

There’s seems to be a line dance (class? Flash mob?) happening outside Texas Roadhouse. Cute!

New skates!!! They look yummy 🛼

Whenever I’m feeling down about myself I remember that a local grocery store manager and her employees refer to me as “Chef Laura Croft”

Jason Batemans voice is very soothing to me. I want him to explain away all of my problems.

“Female friendships need a slight edge of homoeroticism to stay healthy. If you’re not yearning for the sweet sweet nectar of your homegirls it’s not real”

I should be galloping down a beach like a horse open.spotify.com/track/28lKZh...

Relapsing dishwasher won’t stop yelling about how I never smile at him 😶‍🌫️

I have a need. A need for twee.

My farmers market friend has an awesome tie-dye booth. He has no phone, doesn’t pay taxes, and has been to 89 Grateful Dead shows.

Imagine receiving a party invitation from these 3 baddies

One shard of freshly clipped hair in your tshirt can ruin your whole day forreal

I’ve had a Sam’s Club membership since I was 19 years old

I love when me and my friends traipse around downtown looking awesome and having fun and everyone is like “look at that awesome group of friends having fun”