All it takes is speaking the oomfs into existence and they appear on your front step

Fire at the thrift

Accidentally watched this guy make jewelry on tik tok for almost an hour bc his eyes were so crazy I couldn’t look away

I’m like kinda really dialed in on my discernment rn 😏

Ow

Miss Zara Larsson I did not know you had it like that!

Can’t talk, I’m stringing pearls

Welp! It’s 2:30 on Thursday! Mentally clocking out for the week! 😁

Time for my coworker to smack on a mint for 45 minutes

My hoodie selection s u c k s and needs to be improved asap

I love when co star actually gives me a good “day at a glance” that makes me think, instead saying stupid shit like “sleep in”

System of a Down Mesmerize on repeat until further notice

I’m not saying sunglasses made me stronger but I did lift heavier with them on so

Did my hair grow like 75 inches over night or what

Accidentally slid into oomfs dms on the work account

Planning a trip to the craft store for Halloween costume supplies and materials and I’m giddy!

Medicated chapstick AND an herbal pad??? Lips are a’burnin’

Somebody sedate me!

Quitting my job to focus on @ginospizzeria.bsky.social merch

Bad bunny doing superbowl halftime show

It’s so awesome when a great carabiner comes into your life

“jonhammit”

Watching Les Mis the way god intended, wine drunk af 💁🏼‍♀️✨💅🏼

Just got #validated

Now imagine someone like me walking into the firearms section at academy sports

Jack fucking Antonoff count your days

Dean’s attitude about Rory’s Deb ball is pissing me off

I can’t believe how frequently people drive the wrong way down a one way road around here

Friday Stars on my face 🫶🏻🤩

Real

Tried to be outgoing and got left on read :) I’ll never do that again!

Manifesting this is the fall I thrift the perfect trench coat

Tried to type milfy, autocorrected to moldy 😖

“Let’s hang out and catch up soon” text from someone I’ve never hung out with…?

Make sure you get your bisexual registration form from Septum Piercing Hall this Bi Visibilty week, baddies!! 💙💜🩷

Just saw real life Frank Gallagher walking down Broadway

I’ll never forget the insane time in my life when Invasion of Privacy and Beerbongs & Bentleys came out DAYS before my bachelorette party. I was absolutely levitating and consuming concerning amounts of Larceny

A certain couple of oomfs would be delighted to know I’ve been in the mood for watching a certain muppet movie recently

I want Nara Smith on the next season of Dancing with the Stars

Two minutes is TOO long to wait for popcorn once I’ve decided I want popcorn

Who’s up harboring a dark entity

Nothing gets me gigglin’ and snortin’ as much a news blooper

Sometimes I wish I could schedule out my tweets

my vibe for fall btw

It’s so embarrassing to get caught watching something at 2x

“It’s hard to find others with a whimsical heart such as mine”

Do belugas know how silly they are !!

I owe my life to the binkies for showing us meatball pizza from PBTP

Upping my cardio just to be prepped for weddings at mega churches

Looking for tree to climb