The Paw Patrol needs to be humbled

I hope my coworkers will one day become aware I am a pre med student and can answer their health related questions with the same certainty as a rock could.

Ride my new bike to the brewery to do chemistry homework, I am that bitch thank you 🙂‍↕️

Watching mad men with an inflation calculator is both informative and disturbing

Feeling the urge of a bleached buzz cut again

ED medications are getting out of hand! What do you mean “Boner Vape”???

I’m a crusty little bastard today

Craving a pseudo sue

Why do homework at the shitty coffee store? when the beer store is right there!

If Peter Campbell has no haters I’m dead

Dudes really throw on a shirt and pants and be like “you mind if I throw a fit??”

First Celsius in a while put me in fight or flight mode

I’m a little slut for a good fight riff

I wish there was a car wash for boys

Boys kissing (slowed and reverbed)

Marketing team: how do we make shitty 1ply toilet paper sound appealing?

I’m glad I hit the .01% margin of time where being clean shaven is a good time for me.

If you were a dessert, what dessert would you be?

Man Child by Sabrina Carpenter is yacht rock

I long for the summer sun to burn my ailments away

Ah, sick yet again

Surprise casual day at work right after I buy new jeans? God is real people!!!

Victory cig

Egg Salad Sando that changed my life

When will my gastrointestinal suffering end :’(

I’m goodie and my shoes are two

“Wuthering Heights” proves you really can’t always get by on just being hot

Milk bread ❤️‍🔥

Someone please purchase the vans boat shoes for me :)

Google search resulted in a crisis hotline pop up 😬

Loves of my life slaying at the whiskey bar 🫶

Someone tell me something good

Told the armed cash courier at work that I was “living the dream” and he said “you need to borrow my gun?”

Thank you Dr. Pepper

The universe has a funny way of kicking my ass right before I have PTO.

Me? Taking a good thirst trap???

I want to go to there (Mad Men office)

Happiness is always one cool pair of pants away

If my ADHD medication is so addictive why do I keep forgetting to take it!?!?

Man even the paw patrol is loosing positions to AI

That’s what America is all about! (Getting beat up by a bisexual cowboy)

Who is it!?!?

Forget the commune of it all. Who’s moving to Thailand with me?

More fuzz rock girl bands!!

No music on the overhead at the gym??

The most essential function of my job is to give treats to dogs

I love my crows feet :)

Is Huey Lewis and the News the best band ever?

Had a dream I ran for president and won. Would you vote for me?

A calming drive to soothe an ethical dilemma!