Face of a girl who crashed into all the mirrors at the Museum of Illusions - but didn’t let it dampen her manic enthusiasm even a little

Oh you’re a “cOffEe pErsOn”? Name 3 mezcals

It makes me so mad that I can’t own this

Put your makeup on fix your hair up pretty and meet me tonight let me see them titties

It’s so awkward when old people try to be smart asses during cognitive exams then mess themselves up and can’t answer the questions

Jason Mraz did irreparable harm to the image of white people

Rate my haul

Good job @idealover.bsky.social !

This shit is why you can’t trust the gringos with agave 👎

Bahama Mama. Absolutely depraved cocktail recipe (delicious)

Talking to some guy about The Tap and The Tavern

What if everything you thought you knew about Tequila was a lie?? #AgaveSummer

Dear Pineapple, From one species to another: we do not deserve you.

Sometimes I like to drink my milk from a chilled coupe just to be a little freak

Never thought I’d say this, but blanco agave for shots, reposado or > for just about everything else

It’s crazy that this song won classical music back in 2004 but everyone’s too polite to say so open.spotify.com/track/0tYuVS...

Tiki cocktails think if a drink is under 15 ingredients it’s basically a neat pour

I may have never held a beretta or seen a lake, but this shit hits open.spotify.com/track/5YzuZm...

Thrift find of the month. His name is Big Teek and he is a MOTHERFUCKER when he’s angry

In perhaps the most tragically accurate possible representation of my current mixology obsession, I used around 75% of my special-ordered $120 bottle of

God bless the equal-parts cocktail 🙏

Spake Yea to the Negligée

If I was an as overall non-essential vegetable as celery, I’d focus big time on not turning into a gross, flaccid piece of shit after 30 minutes in the fridge

Kind of a nothing burger if you ask me. Tiki cocktail recipes be adding shit just to add shit

If I had one wish it’d be the ability to inflict punishment on inanimate objects that wrong me

The best time to Tiki is all the time

In the most cliche, cocktail-snobbish way possible, I think I’m over vodka 😪

This is how Wilt must’ve felt after the 100 point game

Purple has become such an underrated Halloween color. Just because Halloween is “cool”, “adult”, and “sexy as hell” now, let’s not forget our campier roots!!!

Chartreuse Vodka Martini, 1.5:1:1. Gin would have been the more obvious choice, but I really wanted the Chartreuse front and center. Yummy… and very boozy 🫠

It’s sad that Lizzo made the decision to blame it on “the Goose” when “Chartreuse” was RIGHT THERE

Cash poor, Chartreuse rich

The Paw Patrol needs to be humbled

Some silly mixology on a Wednesday: St. Petersburg Cowboy 2oz Dos Maderas 5+3 rum 0.5oz dry curaçao 1.5oz fresh pineapple juice 0.5oz fresh lime juice 0.5oz fresh orange juice 0.5oz simple syrup 1 chopped habanero, muddled Garnish w pineapple wedge + cocktail cherry Hurricane glass on ice

There are so many dishes my mom told me couldn’t go in the dishwasher for, as it turned out, no goddamn reason at all

Are the Desperate Housewives associated with any particular type of cocktail?

A margarita served in a rocks glass is a completely different [better] drink

Flight attendants when they see a shoulder sticking out 0.5 inches into the aisle

In my dream last night, @squeako.bsky.social, @rockfactory.bsky.social, and I were strolling along a peaceful country lane while Ollie recounted his time doing voice acting work as Stewie on Family Guy, circa season 5. Then a car flew by out of nowhere and absolutely obliterated me.

The future is Mezcal

I’ve been a fool about pickles on sandwiches. A goddamned fool.

The scrum jar will rise again

Me putting egg white in a cocktail for the first time

I need everybody’s personal Mai Tai recipes (plz include specific rum brands)

Let the Tytinerary commence

Years of successfully faking drug tests only to play it straight and be undone by an Everything Bagel 😑

Don’t tell me you know comedy if you’ve never made a baby laugh so hard she pukes all over you 😌

I lowkey kinda love it when directors use the same character actors in all their movies

Oh Portman my Portman

POV: you said you’d “watch the game” with me