Some silly mixology on a Wednesday: St. Petersburg Cowboy 2oz Dos Maderas 5+3 rum 0.5oz dry curaçao 1.5oz fresh pineapple juice 0.5oz fresh lime juice 0.5oz fresh orange juice 0.5oz simple syrup 1 chopped habanero, muddled Garnish w pineapple wedge + cocktail cherry Hurricane glass on ice

There are so many dishes my mom told me couldn’t go in the dishwasher for, as it turned out, no goddamn reason at all

Are the Desperate Housewives associated with any particular type of cocktail?

A margarita served in a rocks glass is a completely different [better] drink

Flight attendants when they see a shoulder sticking out 0.5 inches into the aisle

In my dream last night, @squeako.bsky.social, @rockfactory.bsky.social, and I were strolling along a peaceful country lane while Ollie recounted his time doing voice acting work as Stewie on Family Guy, circa season 5. Then a car flew by out of nowhere and absolutely obliterated me.

The future is Mezcal

I’ve been a fool about pickles on sandwiches. A goddamned fool.

The scrum jar will rise again

Me putting egg white in a cocktail for the first time

I need everybody’s personal Mai Tai recipes (plz include specific rum brands)

Let the Tytinerary commence

Years of successfully faking drug tests only to play it straight and be undone by an Everything Bagel 😑

Don’t tell me you know comedy if you’ve never made a baby laugh so hard she pukes all over you 😌

I lowkey kinda love it when directors use the same character actors in all their movies

Oh Portman my Portman

POV: you said you’d “watch the game” with me

Let’s ride

Smoke on the Water (basically Mezcal watermelon margarita). Honestly kinda mid, but lighting the rosemary on fire is fun

Sad to say it, but watermelon cannot hold its own in a cocktail

I knew the juicer was gonna be a gamechanger - did not expect it to be so emotionally satisfying

DEI hire

Jacob Elordi adopting the same mustache style as me can portend only good things for this year

I feel like I’m organically learning Spanish, just at a rate so slow it would take me several lifetimes to become fluent

5 years of getting absolutely face fucked by this company - but I got a juicer, so there’s that 🥰

My favorite reads in 2025: The Bright Sword by Lev Grossman The Shards by Bret Easton Ellis The Bee Sting by Paul Murray Intermezzo by Sally Rooney I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

It’s tiki time motherfuckers

THC infused milk

Hot take: no cocktail should ever have less than 2 oz of liquor

I hate a garnish gobbler when I’m bartending

Me adding hurricane glasses to my already ridiculous collection of cocktail glassware

Arabella’s new favorite song is You Are My Sunshine but with the lyrics changed to “you are my nugget, my chicken nugget”

Lost my phone in a ball pit tonight

Yo FUCK the craft cocktail revival

Derek Henry’s hall of fame induction should just be a parade of OCs and QBs talking about how they got to do fuck all nothing and still win games because of Henry’s greatness

2025 was front loaded as helll on horror movies :(

Category is phrases you might hear from pro basketball teams but not from crack addicts

Every erection is a tiny miracle ❤️

A bedside lamp is an under-appreciated amenity

Never EVER doubt yourself about ANYTHING. EVER.

As 2026 and Total Nicotine Cessation draw nigh, I am savoring each cigarette as if it were my last #thankful

Jacob Elordi was so good in Frankenstein

I saw a video of him the other day where he was saying “I make music for guys in their mid 30’s who are having a hard time” and I was like fuuuuck

A stripper (me) named Cake Lively

Who. Will be. This year’s… HOTTEST COUSINNNNN???!!!!!!

The link between having numerous medication allergies and being completely batshit fucking crazy is purely correlational but striking nonetheless

I like the new Orville EP but I’m beginning to resign myself to the fact we may never get anything that hits as hard as his early work

Conscious uncoupling with the roomie this week

POV you literally just met me: WOOOOOOO let’s do shots and talk about our sexualities WOOOOOOO