Daminal
@surlydanimal.bsky.social
📤 38
📥 52
📝 56
I make jokes
pinned post!
Spooning always turns into forking at some point
4 months ago
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Handgela and I have a great Valentine's Day planned
3 months ago
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Daminal
RiotGrlErin
3 months ago
google is a ouija board when the person who answered the question is dead.
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Reverie
3 months ago
Coming up with captions for pictures of my ass is more difficult than I had imagined
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If you don't know who Bill Withers is then it's only going to be a one night stand. I have standards
3 months ago
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Canadian Bacon
3 months ago
I’ll just answer that email after this coffee, and other lies I’m telling myself this morning.
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Remember to pick the lent out of your bush today
3 months ago
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debbshock
3 months ago
penis is short for penisaurus
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I'mWintersMom
6 months ago
im a daytime midweek bowling alley ten.
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Forrest Plump
4 months ago
I’m the MacGyver of connecting dots seemingly out of nowhere
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I'mWintersMom
4 months ago
i see dead people’s dicks *my dixth sense*
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Veruca's Alt
4 months ago
If by lewds, you mean me in my white castle t-shirt, then, yes, I have lewds.
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RiotGrlErin
4 months ago
jockey: owner: mind if i pay you under the stable
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Veruca's Alt
4 months ago
It's awfully drafty living in this house of cards.
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If we start dating now, I'll still be able to make Valentine's dinner reservations at White Castle
4 months ago
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TwoSense
4 months ago
carbs are like that naughty friend who calls after you’ve gotten your life together
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Veruca's Alt
4 months ago
"I need a brand new friend who doesn't bother me"
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Canadian Bacon
4 months ago
Telling me who’s gonna be there isn’t gonna make me wanna go more…
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Happy Bone Thugs N Harmony Day
4 months ago
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Crip walking to the coffee pot
4 months ago
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mean things I say to myself
4 months ago
If dog not allowed on couch why is couch dog shaped
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Jokes on you! That's a stolen sweet potato in my pocket
4 months ago
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I choose my pets by the level of derp they have
4 months ago
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dr Quinn, medicine weirdo
4 months ago
you'll have to peel the jarlic from my cold dead hands
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Reverie
4 months ago
My left butt cheek is twitching. That means 2 more weeks of January
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I'mWintersMom
4 months ago
am i the asshole my asshole: sometimes
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Daisy
4 months ago
him: wanna do something kinky? me: yeah, tie me up and feed me taffy so I can’t pick it out of my teeth him: me: you can have some too
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TwoSense
4 months ago
are my beans cool? -me flirting
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Reverie
4 months ago
I love that my silver hairs are growing in all kinky and witchy to match my upgraded personality
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Forrest Plump
4 months ago
Can’t. Getting steroid injections in my jaw so I can eat a bag of beef jerky.
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geist
4 months ago
Ask your doctor if pharmaceutical grade grilled cheese sandwiches are right for you.
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Doctor: Are you sexually active? Me: I've had a few strokes Doctor: And when were these? Me: Every morning before coffee for the last 8 years
4 months ago
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Spooning always turns into forking at some point
4 months ago
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Stopped in to see what's up Will probably disappear at some point
4 months ago
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you reached the end!!
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