This is actually the secret chord that David played and it pleased the Lord

she just saw a rapist and pedophile on the jumbotron!

I can guess the sexual predator they’re there to arrest.

Sigh. I hate being right yet again. #Royals

Can't ever make it look easy, can we #Royals?

Bullpen implosions are fun...when it's not the #Royals bullpen doing it for once. But there's still plenty of game for us to get in on the fun.

It sounds crazy, but I guess when somebody tells you their only mistake was a Nazi tattoo, its possible they actually made a series of other mistakes that did not happen to produce a Nazi tattoo.

Wait, you're telling me that the #Royals snatched victory from the jaws of defeat and NOT the opposite for once!? Wow. Truly anything is possible in baseball.

Hot take, but...I think Bobby is good at baseball. #Royals

There it is. Felt inevitable this season. #Royals feel deathly allergic to holding leads/ties in the late innings this season

Here comes Erceg for the 7rh inning. #Royals

Goddammit. Not Tony Head. Not the obit I wanted to see today.

Whoa, I missed the resumption but the #Royals won?! And the Hurricanes too?! Chalk two up for the good guys tonight!

The medieval period where everyone was at least somewhat drunk all the time as alcohol was easier to get than clean water is BACK, baby

And now, all #Royals fans root for the rain to never end. 🙏

If the twins score again next inning and the #Royals don't, I think we can safely say that's game.

Welp, #Royals are on pace to lose 9-6 in this one unless they can break the cycle and score a bunch of runs. And by a bunch, I obviously mean double digits. Anything less won't cut it.

Never a doubt in my mind! I believed in him all a Lange! #Royals WIN

Ninth inning insurance runs!? Are we allowed to do that? Still, we need at least 12 more before I feel semi-confident in a win. #Royals

Just waiting for Erceg to walk in the winning run with the bases loaded. #Royals

Fuckin Erceg, man. #Royals

Built for Seattle. ⚒️ Alex Carpenter has been re-signed to a 3-year Standard Player Agreement through the 2028-29 season and is a protected player in the Expansion Roster Distribution Process. 📰 bit.ly/4vtsgNQ

First inning grand slam is cool, but I need about 20 more runs to give me something approaching confidence in a win. #Royals

happy Pride Eve to all the people who are about to paraphrase this tweet from 2022 or repost it with my name removed as if it’s a thought they just had themselves

Millennial melancholy forever.

I guess the good news is that if this is the product he's gonna keep putting on the field, Sherman can likely build a MUCH smaller stadium at Crown Center. Should be cheaper and faster! #Royals

I'd say leave Q and the coaching staff in Arlington, but that's too cruel. Give them bus fare to get home. #Royals

Aaaand....that's enough #Royals for today.

Another absolutely demoralizing loss by an utterly dreadful #Royals team. I'm out of things to say, but...it's bad when we can't find a way to hold any lead.

This ninth inning feels very familiar. #Royals

ErcUGHHHHHH #Royals

Carter Jensen to his bullpen: #Royals

Here comes the #Royals bullpen, attempting to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory yet again!

It seems I've successfully shitpost-baited the #Royals into playing good.

Is your team mired in a slump? Sitting below. 500 and struggling to score runs? Fans starting to call for mass firings and/or new ownership? Don't give in to despair. There's hope. Ask your manager if new Playing The #Royals might be right for you.

Sigh. I made it more than three innings today, but...three runs feels insurmountable. #Royals

Over/under on number of innings I'll watch before rage quitting today's #Royals game is three. I think I'll take the under.

Blue Origin Goes Rogue, Blows Up Another Billionaire’s Launchpad: tinyurl.com/hzpcz5db

Darn. Can't watch the Royals latest embarrassment because I'm at a chilly, damp beach for the start of beach volleyball season. Even with the conditions, I'm still winning.

Can we please just call out these fucking piece of shit fucks instead of being nice. I’m so goddamn tired of the niceness

Everything has to change. Everything. Do not settle for politicians who want to go back to "normal." "Normal" was the garbage state of existence that allowed all of this evil to take root and thrive. Everything has to change.

Real good bit about the slippery slope of genAI use. A battle we're already fighting, especially against the C-suite.

If you use A.I., you're not a writer, you're a slop engineer

I need an email opt out setting that's like, "If your company emails me about AI one more time I am going to burn you to the ground"

"“I’m here to tell you the mission of your generation is to destroy AI,” said Chieng." news.harvard.edu/gazette/stor...

Now this is more like it! #Royals games are supposed to have late inning bullpen meltdowns, not first inning ones.

Oh, weird trick! Did you know you can choose *not* to start your team's worst pitcher?! And, as a result, not be trailing by four runs after the first inning?! The #Royals should do this more often.

The #Royals should get relegated to AAA

Not watching this #Royals nightmare. If I want some sports to make me angry tonight, I can watch the Avalanche continue to shit the bed tonight instead.