Cool. My electric mixer stirs faster than my finger

In a sane administration, the FBI Director doesn’t go on the morning news to prove he’s not a drunk, the Defense Secretary doesn’t quote Tarantino to prove he’s a man of God, and the President doesn’t take multiple cognitive exams to prove he’s not insane.

Today, President Barack Obama and I read to a group of toddlers at Learning Through Play Pre-K Center in the South Bronx.  In between singing wheels on the bus, we discussed our administration’s vision for this City — one where New York’s Cutest have the strongest start possible.

10 at narrow Kardinia against presumptive (well, after Rd 0) P'ship contenders Western Bulldogs. Don't have to like Jeremy Cameron to admire the achievement. What a party! #AFLCatsDogs #AFL

I'm far from the only person to note this, but maybe if they wanted broad social acceptance of AI, they shouldn't have led with "it will eliminate all your jobs & might also wipe out humanity."

Ho. Lee. Shit.

Shame on DoorDash for participating in Trump’s “no taxes on tips” scam. Aside from their D.C. DoorDash “Grandma” being a GOP operative from Arkansas, it’s mathematically impossible for her to have saved $11,000 in taxes this year as a result of Trump’s bullshit bill.

tero i believe that is *doctor* baal

To be fair this is a photograph of my actual doctor.

Where's his medical equipment? Do doctor's get illuminated palms in medical school? Do people pray to doctors? Did Trump the "doctor" kill the soldiers we see ascending into heaven? Do they have grounds for a malpractice suit?

it'll be back in three days

D.L. HUGHLEY: “Iran is stronger today — they fought the mightiest military in the world to a standstill… If I fight Mike Tyson and he doesn’t knock me out - I fuckin’ won.” @realdlhughley.bsky.social

But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs They're calling again

The SOB is enjoying sll this. Any other president would be showing the strain, even Nixon or LBJ. Not TFG. He's in his glory, with the whole damned world forced to pay attention to HIM while he controls the game. Evil motherfucker.

LMAO THERE COULD BE NO CLEARER INDICATOR THAT BLUESKY IS FOR OLD PEOPLE Remember to take your blood pressure meds today, peepaws and meemaws

"The way some of these other immigrants are getting treated in our country right now is a travesty and a disgrace... I think what’s going on in our country — what we’re doing to some of these amazing immigrants, is really unfortunate and it’s really sad." - Charles Barkley on CBS

Taken from the Italian "gabinetto," which while formally meaning "cabinet," it is most often used to say "shithouse."

the fuck is going on with the rise in "lol ur fuckin gay" as an attack ad from dems

Me: Okay, calm down and have a seat, People magazine. Now say it again, this time SLOWLY, because I don't think I heard you right. People magazine (takes deep breath):

the types of podcasts: a guide

Yeah, cuz that's what's important. GTFOH

A lot of recent headlines feel suspiciously like MadLibs

I’m at ICE HQ

Looking forward to ICE ending these long lines at TSA checkpoints the only way they know how -- dispersing tear gas and savagely assaulting anyone who's left

As someone who really dislikes TSA, the average TSA bully wants to pull you out of line, waste an hour of your day, get to be big man on campus for 60 min and then send you on your way. The ICE guy wants to shoot you in the face. Different vibe

"When asked about over-crowding, Larry explained that the crowds are filled up like that so everyone can get stronger by catching more germs, meaning everyone not at the expensive concert will die sooner." 😂😂😂

Whether it’s Barack Obama wearing a tan suit to a press conference or Donald Trump saying that he’s glad that Robert Mueller is dead, both presidents shattered some of Washington’s most sacred norms.

Is there a way to mute or block anything with the SOS emoji? User handles especially?

Shout out to an old friend

This is the funniest false positive for my labeller @facelabels.bsky.social so far

What is up with all the hammy injuries this season? #AFLTigersSuns #AFL

I wonder if AI calls our work “human slop.” Anyway, have a nice weekend everybody.

Trump Threatens Airstrikes On U.S. Gas Stations https://theonion.com/trump-threatens-airstrikes-on-u-s-gas-stations/

Markwayne Mullin sucks but having to testify “I didn’t say you getting your ass kicked was right, I said it was funny” is excellent television

The content I'm here for.

Don McLean, "American Pie" Pick a single fucking tempo, you hack, and learn to write some goddamn lyrics while you're at it. Feels like an improved singalong at a camp for Baby Boomers.

My newsletter today is about @katmabu.bsky.social's campaign. Democrats keep asking how to reach voters who've given up on the party. Kat Abughazaleh spent a year trying to answer that question. She lost, but the answer is still right. www.readtpa.com/p/what-if-we...

A nice long read, this is a warm dogsledding swan song from @blairbraverman.bsky.social , the first (and it seems, only) real hero I met on social media. #UglyDogs www.nytimes.com/2026/03/18/m... (gift link)

Dolores Huerta issued a statement following the New York Times’ investigation into sexual misconduct by Cesar Chavez medium.com/@dolores_hue...

New Dem ad just dropped.

This is astonishing—a rhetoric steeped so deeply in New York's ethnic history, in grass-roots urban progressivism, in the immigrant experience in the United States. It's not "you should be in solidarity with others," it's "you always have been, we all always have been."

oh hell yes, had kalshi getting charged before april on polymarket at +2500

I don't like the way that team did something cool and then enjoyed it, like it was fun or something. They shouldn't do that, they should act like the Coast Guard or maybe like an angry businessman

that’s a good ol fashioned jack off