I've just noticed there's a physiotherapist at my GP's called Liz Creak. #NominativeDeterminism

Bravo France, showing how it's done again. #ThePolitics

Hey I've got a great slogan for Pret à Manger. "Our coffee is nothing like as good as McDonald's, but at least it's almost 3 times the price." There you go, have that one on me, Pret marketing lads. (Well why didn't you go to McDonald's Steve, I'm in an airport arrivals hall dickhead.)

Fulham complete the league double over Burnley for the first time since 1950/51. (Squawka)

Fulham ultras at it again

🎶 Never feel more like singing the blues, when Fulham win and Chels*a lose 🎶

Fuck me. Elizabethtown. Fucking hell. They're only going to have to rename it when people finally realise the contemptible old crone was fully aware what 'favourite son' Andrew was up to and cheered him on. Groo.

Would be astonishing to find out this writer is a supporter of any other club than... Manchester United.

This should be put to a House of Commons vote.

What if... European states didn't just let a volatile external hegemon prosecute its ill-conceived wars from their territory?

Coming soon to a United Kingdom near you.

Attn @mickeyonions.bsky.social

@octopus.energy Good morning, I'd like to switch my gas tariff from Tracker to Flexible today please.

The Green Party is economically illiterate, part 76. Let's have a look at their defence policy though. Ah. Oh I see. Hmm.

nobody does more brutal fashion reviews than the irish

The annual congratulations to the Irish for using their budget in Belgrade to host loads of events from music to the arts, accessible to all. And your annual reminder the Brits ring fence the budget for posh twats to quaff and to hang around cemeteries remembering battles from 500 years ago.

A documentary I'm watching about an Australian Outback pub is everything you'd expect.

Either the single greatest example of a lack of self awareness in the history of humanity, or incredibly brave shade being thrown on Putin from within. I think I go with the former.

Am in Edinburgh and I have ordered a latte with oot milk, as is the law.

That's nice

After their shameful sponsoring of the squatters at Walham Green dog track, another reason to boycott Samsung appears, he typed on his Samsung phone...

His first move for the Presidency is here. Either a move to discredit and remove Trump, or to win the candidacy for 2028. Got to say, if it leads to and end to this ludicrous Iran war, the sooner the better, like now please. All other things aside.

They’ll need to trim that bush.

Glorious British Democracy: an update. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

People are utter cunts, Part 1,276.

Abingdon Abbey Northcourt (Vale of White Horse) Council By-Election Result: 🔶 LDM: 43.7% (+3.3) 🌍 GRN: 32.5% (-2.1) ➡️ RFM: 13.8% (New) 🌳 CON: 6.8% (-7.3) 🌹 LAB: 3.2% (-7.7) Liberal Democrat GAIN from Green. Changes w/ 2023.

BRITISH WILDLIFE ON THE BANKNOTES. Submission #1

Attn @mickeyonions.bsky.social

We're abolishing hereditary peers in the House of Lords because "no-one should sit in our Parliament by way of an inherited title" (Baroness Smith). If the hereditary principle is wrong we will also have an elected Head of State? Because the hereditary Monarch sits in the House of Lords... right?

Incredible. I implore everyone, read this.

And the winner of the 2026 Nobel Prize for Nominative Determinism goes to...

Pint?

Interesting menu holders in this pub.

@mickeyonions.bsky.social A London pub day is upon me! To The Coburn! Hurrah.

Terrific thread.

Gentle reminder for those idiots that want Britain to get fully involved in an illegal war in the Middle East built on a false argument around WMD, in 2003 we had an economy larger than China and could put about 60,000 servicemen and women into the field. It's history, not current affairs.

America:

cheers sportsmoat (no longer works for Spurs fans)

I used to sell security equipment to the bin Laden family.

Fulham FC #TheFootball share.google/7geu2ONx1T3U...

Hi @mattrodda.bsky.social please can you ask Reading Council to explain why they've allowed two simultaneous sets of roadworks in central Caversham this week. Traffic is gridlocked, yesterday evening it queued back to the M4. This morning isn't much better. Seems unnecessary. Thanks.

Hello @readingcouncil.bsky.social please can you explain why you've allowed two simultaneous sets of roadworks in central Caversham this week. Traffic is gridlocked, yesterday evening it queued back to the M4. This morning isn't much better. Seems unnecessary.

Ah, so looks like an hour and 15 minutes to crawl 4 miles across Reading tonight because of, yet again, Thames Water temporary traffic lights in Caversham. Nationalise these jokers immediately.

Well then Mr Trump, you are that thing you hate the most, a loser, for a winner would just grab whatever they want by the medals. In your world I thought winners wouldn't allow themselves to get shut down, you demented old bag of shite.

What the hell is going on with traffic in Reading today? Is extra traffic diverting through here or something? It's uncommonly, unfathomably busy.

Imagine if all the Dubai tax exiles got blown up. I'd wank until the top came off.

NEWS! Man who said he wouldn't get involved in foreign wars starts foreign war over nuclear capability he claimed was totally obliterated a few months ago newsthump.com/2026/02/28/m...

Finally given in and looked up what 'Bazball' means, 'ere we all perish in a nuclear inferno.

So about 70% voted left/centre left in the Gorton and Denton by-election. Where are the hand wringing media pieces about the death of right wing politics, the end of Reform's challenge? Oh, Chris Mason is more worried about Labour. I see. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...