rewatching flight of the conchords cause i’m one of the three best looking girls on the street depending on the street

the scots are so fukin here rn

i feel like musk is very anxious to announce he’s sending a probe to uranus and he’s going to carry a big ass dildo into the building for posterity on account of how cool and funny he is

planting a flag at work with my new water bottle sticker from kate www.etsy.com/ca/listing/4...

holy shit

i have uttered all of the swears

this is toooo much

omg OMG

Spencer Pratt was part of this very online feedback loop where he kept going viral on X, his odds were always bullish on prediction markets and traders were obsessed with him, so I got access to Kalshi API data and ran the numbers.

widow’s bay is so fuckin good

i wish i could go back to the beginning of mtv and show them the seven nation army video and also give them the murder list

When you steal the policeman's son

did it happen i dreamed it happened

i vaguely remember david letterman talking about how spencer pratt as a guest was wagging his crap bling watch at dave trying to get him to mention it didn’t work in LA either, dickwad

Forget it, Jake.

CRAMPS

As Nietzsche once said, "If you gays in an abyss, the abyss gays in you, too."

i wanted bernie to win but when he didn’t i voted for hc and ppl were mad at me asking why and i said the supreme court

tuesday: the slacker’s monday

my nephew takes great joy in pointing out i was born in the 1900s

someone give don jr the nobel prize so it’ll happen fast and hard and spectacularly

Reminder that Widow’s Bay creator Katie Dippold is behind one of the greatest Halloween tweets of all time:

bluski 4eva!

watching while screaming

Kimmel: When Colbert's final show ends, turn off CBS and never turn it on again.

(to the tune of speed racer) go bee venom

as president of the united states of america what i do is none of america’s business

is it murder?

on the nosey a lot

the heights they wuthering

This dog was a three term mayor of Whoville.

The hantavirus is what killed Casper

“i’m elon musk and so is my mom” elon musk rn probably

A Marine vet has set up a tent on top of arch on the Fredrick Douglas Bridge in DC, effectively shutting down the bridge. He's doing it in protest of the illegal war with Iran. Amazing.

photo is really driving the headline home

for those of you looking for a “the pitt” fix there’s a great series streaming on peacock “transplant” a refugee syrian doc working in canadian er 🤘

things i learned from SVU: don’t sign petitions don’t go outside windows and doors are bad don’t use any technology awww crap

What happened? The entire Whitehouse Press Corp is there…so we’ll never know.

so what if the netherlands invited him over for a special honor and parade and the special honor is a trial at the hague and the parade is a ride to the hague

April 26th, 2024, Waverly, Nebraska

can i get paid for eating chips and burping a lil bit after? i’m so good at it

Poor Sleep Linked To Gong https://theonion.com/poor-sleep-linked-to-gong/

aubrey plaza

my impression of our president meeting the moment: ahem oh yeah!? well so is your face!

you guys better stop talking about my polite email replies to various scumbags and i mean it

things would be so much better if i couldn’t read

correspondents? dining? fuck is that