A few days ago on this site we were all talking about the Mad Man vomit hose. I miss us.

Christmas is coming! If you can, please consider a donation to my holiday fundraiser for our wonderful local animal shelter. No donation is too small - it adds up! 🎄 givebutter.com/n5l31M

Finished the (c.1980) Santa latch hook kit and made it into a pillow. Fun Fact: The yarn in that kit was proudly made by Monsanto, so if I grow an extra nipple/kneecap we’ll know why

The most coziest moral supporter

Once December hits in this house, I only refer to "popcorn" as "corn for popping" and as you would expect, my family hates it.

me, whenever someone says bill maher makes some good points

WELL NOW, would you look at that? A massive, 24-YEAR-LONG study of MORE THAN 1.2 MILLION people in Denmark found NO LINK between aluminum in childhood vaccines and autism, asthma, OR chronic disorders. Aluminum is an ADJUVANT. It ENHANCES your immune response to a vaccine. That’s it.

a xmas song that tells everyone to shut the fuck up

If today is a holiday shopping day for you please visit Tails of Joy first. Unique gifts and every purchase saves a life, 100% to saving animals. Fast delivery and always free shipping. Lots more at www.tailsofjoy.net/shopping/. Thanks.

tesla truck in the carpool lane like bitch you ain’t got no friends

I am going to assert myself more strongly if it's okay with you guys.

Coffee smells better than it tastes. I hate being Tricked By A Smell

Sorry I didn’t reach out — one of my stinkbugs is showing signs of depression

A new study shows that urban raccoons could be showing early signs of domestication. 🦝 But don't let one in the house just yet.

Happy Halloween (Orthodox)

Klaus Nomi (born Klaus Sperber), a German countertenor who created incredible New Wave music by incorporating operatic elements (there’s that famous SNL where he serves a background singer for David Bowie).

can you imagine just going through your day except you’re stevie nicks so you have to change capes every half hour

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The meerkat enclosure will be closed on Sunday so they can get right with God.

It’s the little things

You can save a ton on Christmas gifts by remaining in the corn maze

Did I miss the Black Friday sale? Were green cards 50% off? How much for a pardon?

Just saw this year’s Fantastic 4 movie and enjoyed Disappearing Lady, Matchstick Man, Big Brick Badboy and Dr. Rubberband. And Shiny Cowabunga, the nude flying alien. The baby was terrible. 👎

my daughter announced, with great confidence, that the lit menorah in the city plaza was for people who celebrate harmonica

Home Depot is having a big BOGO Black Friday sale on guillotines y’all

Not a celebration kind of person I guess...

oh you think you’re an adult because you drink coffee now? listen champ i started chewing on the beans for today’s cup last night before bed

Keep in mind that white American males shot and killed countless Americans including many children, and no one ever did a thing but protect their right to do it again.

ME: Is there a 臀? PAT SAJAK: No, there's not a fucking 臀.

Do shitty people know that not being shitty is an option

If you say "fuck" a lot but would never dream of saying "quiet piggy" to any fellow human, I want to be your friend.

There’s nothing I can do Mitsubishi Eclipse of the heart

Introduce yourself with 5 acts you’ve seen: Adam Ant Julian Lennon The Cure P.I.L. Stereo Total

Shoutout to everyone wide awake in a guest bed right now

Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷

[flour marketing meeting] let’s put it all over the outside of the package

Movie idea it’s the day of the big game and the coach is giving a speech and he says let’s win this one for our player who died in a horrible car wreck and the team captain says coach that was all of us the movie is called Ghost Team

The "DOGE is gone" articles are clickbait but this one gets it closer to the truth: DOGE is not gone, it just claims to have "no centralized leadership" anymore -- in other words, its leadership is hiding in an attempt to avoid blame.

I’ve been waiting years for Charlie Brown to trend #CharlieBrownJesus

Paul Blart: Mind Freak

Feel free to use this as your social media profile for the day he dies.

Vintage dollhouse cat from my collection. Pictured on Francie for no particular reason at all.

I love that the Boston cop slide never got fixed and now people just willingly go down it in tribute. It’s basically a national landmark at this point

Seems like this is winding down. But a pink frog has arrived. "No pizza for Nazis!"

So this is happening outside of the Heritage Foundation right now "Fuck ICE! Fuck ICE! Fuck Project 2025! Fuck Alligator Alcatraz!"

her: are you stupid? me:

I hope if anything radioactive ever bites me it happens when I'm wearing this outfit (pale blue underpants and a green tank top)