Dick muck bottom blanket Boots with the fur

officially a zone 1.5 baddie

genuinely losing in, what is the food in this tesco advert

We don't talk enough about what the bowl plate has done for us as culinarily inclined gay people

🎶 My Euro, Euro, Euro Country 🎶

announcing my candidacy for london mayor under a single issue platform of "ban school trips"

i like how the sultana/corbyn party didn't quite stick the landing and so labour were like "aw let's give them a helping hand"

i genuinely don't think i could bring myself to care about this story if i tried

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's labubu

it's actually causing my brain to seep out my nose watching all the right wing journalists that queued up to defend people inciting violence during the southport riots going "um actually we have laws in this country that stop you from inciting violence against a group" in regards to THE IDF !

need you freaks that actually enjoy summer to explain what is good about it being thirty degrees celcius at 8pm

👍🏻

when we eat the rich i'm going to knaw on the thames water ceo's leg like a bit of rotisserie chicken

officially my 13th reason

NANCY PELOSI: We must find the next generation of Democratic leadership. Young, charismatic and exciting candidates who can energize the party. People that voters love because they're not 80 years old and sold out to big capital. CHUCK SCHUMER (behind sniper rifle): Found one PELOSI: Take the shot

fourth lot of cmat tickets purchased this year lol, does this make me a groupie

the jamie oliver petrol station

““They confirmed that I need to wear a female swimming costume despite having to compete with the men” The contradictions of the EHRC never end

i'm not jet lagged, my body clock tea is just in its flop era

if you're the sort of person that pays for their bag to be wrapped in cling film at the airport you actually need to get "certified mug" tattooed across your forehead

Got called transphobic by Chat GPT earlier lads

lmao get her

[average BBC article] A strawberry grown in Dumfries has been named the largest in the UK, at the 73rd annual Fruit Growers Festival. 'I'm delighted,' said winning participant, 68 year old Roger Lennox. 'It's my 4th time entering and I'm so pleased.' However, when we spoke to Sex Matters

Judi Dench-backed rebels seized a nature site 250 miles north of the capital today.

got a little bit of yellow fever in my arm, as a treat

just realised that the us passing the "no tax on tips" act is going to incentivise an even more batshit tipping culture

i've just given them my national insurance number, passport details, driving license details, scanned my passport nfc tag, scanned my face with flashing colours, set up an authenticator app and they're like "tee hee, not enough to see your tax info"

why does engaging with hmrc in any way make me want to drive an ice pick through my skull

There is no separating the art from the artist. If you buy Harry Potter shit, you are funding transphobic campaigning. It’s that simple.

killing myself unpostponed deadline.com/2025/05/the-...

catching up on i kissed a boy and finding it a bit insane they sent the fittest one home first lol

the office i'm in is playing a chipmunk version of only love can hurt like this over the speakers

Keir Starmer 2023; Labour party 2025.

This is the kind of psychopathic cruelty Wes Streeting thinks we need to show "humility" to btw.

I once spent £70,000 to roll back the rights of transgender people and got the Labour Women's Conference cancelled.

every now and again I remember that thirty years ago britain and france built the longest underwater tunnel in the world, still not beaten, and the thing that limits how many people we can shove through it is the tiny cellar underneath the train station that we use for security theatre

silence owl, it's literally not even 5pm yet

waiter ! i'll have the general salad from the embers of creation please

kim-woodburn-i-want-to-see-the-death-sentence.mp4

lol

who the fuck's the pope man i'm getting bored. have a sense of urgency would you

she pissed in the mother lake and cuntaminated the water supply with slayptosirosis music.apple.com/gb/album/tak...

it was new cmat and it was so good they made her pope and india and pakistan started disarmament

which do we think will be first: new cmat, new pope, or india/pakistan nuclear armageddon

Great to meet the cast of Casualty in Parliament this week to discuss how to save the NHS.

obviously the median voter doesn't really care innately about dcms abolition, but i feel like this is so indicative of the "politicians don't do anything" sentiment that's fuelling some of the reform surge. like they're just moving their chess pieces around the board without actually making moves

fyi if darren grimes were to become the reform candidate at the general election in the same constituency he's just became a councillor in he'd be going up against... luke akehurst (lol)