these are pretty fucking serious allegations, holy shit, lol

he wants a lot of things, many of which--for various reasons--have at best a tenuous relationship to reality imho this is not a productive focal point for people's collective neuroses or energies

men will literally sever their penises to commit arson instead of going to therapy

hunh

You know, I still sometimes think about the time Joan Rivers was interviewing Miss Piggy and called her a bitch.

"BE NOT AFRAID...of this queen shit I'm serving" 💅🏼

The final boss of pedantry

*reads john 20:11-18* pff, CGI

people are fine, but tbh I'm going to continue basing my self-worth on how animals interact with me

at the Dyson service center and this dog just realized it's in Dog Hell

Qui ne sautez pas n'est pas Francais!!! Allons-y mes amis!!!

Viva la France, salopes!

NB for complaints about a lack of remaining geographic diversity in the World Cup: as long as France remains in the tournament, in a very real way there will still be a European, African, North American, and South American country represented

My main memory of Tiny Toons Adventures is that it has another fucking pig with a useless personality that I DO NOT RESPECT

Patent images that look like shitposts

Ain't no way this smells like a Malort fueled handjob in a Denny's parking lot.

Robyn in Call your Girlfriend: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! Robyn in Dancing on my Own: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

this is a Poe, right? like, I don't have a tattoo/personal stake here but...lol what?

Interesting fact: you can't get most current corporate AI tools to make a presentation arguing for why you should stay on X, because their content safety parameters won't let them make documents that ignore the harms of CSAM. The computers think it's nuts that humans are trying to make this case!

I need someone to ask Binface if he has any tattoos No reason

Horrible new bullshit from the sea every time. It’s never ‘oh we found a new pink fish that is so happy’ it’s always stuff like this, the crush-depth screw-headed dongwongler, and it’s got to have big long creepy bits. Sick of the ocean tbh.

Morgan Stanley: “SpaceX will soon be worth $300 a share.” Raymond James: “Hold our crack pipe.” www.ft.com/content/4adb...

th—that's not how boob jobs work 😦

Man, what a news day. I don't know how I'm going to fit this all into my 20 minutes with Mitch McConnell tomorrow.

lol I would block her number hypersonically quick if mine ever pulled this shit

my skyline is like 70% about Pizza Hut rn and that slaps so gd hard

Okay so I’ve got a podcast to pitch you. And in like 18 months or so, a book as well

i was talking to Mitch McConnell and somebody who witnessed the accident gave me chest compressions until the ambulance arrived

some good ass energy here 💗

fuck him up Ed

I have zero doubt that diabetes absolutely sucks, but living on the opposite side of A1C country isn't a remarkably pleasant experience either

DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, CONNOR!? DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY TO MOG A STRANGER IN THAILAND!?

o2minning

Most people don’t realise South America is this big

when you realize the sheer number of fruits the average cherry tree produces in a season, it seems like a very cynical organism

look: cheating is bad, but what I find truly offensive is that most of these kids--who stayed after being informed--are apparently dumb and/or lazy as fuck judging by the finals scores you have to not suck somehow ffs!

🥹🧡❤️🧡❤️🧡❤️

looks like he's in DEEP SHIT 😃😃😃

Here I am, feminist and thus (I am informed) man-hater, and I believe there are plenty of good men who haven’t raped anyone. Whereas the men defenders take a different view.

that's the way you do it

um, so everyone cheering on egypt in the world cup realizes how the pyramids were built right? but i guess that's a conversation you're not ready to have

The IMF, every 10-15 years.