2 Rocked 2 Socked

“Mattel’s commitment to storytelling and cultural impact makes this partnership special” is my secret code phrase to let you know I’ve been kidnapped fyi

So he had two reasons to take ivermectin

Zut Alors!

We’re not AI fans, but last night we asked ChatGPT to recommend a new show based on other stuff we liked. It recommended a show called “Riposte” on Apple TV. When I looked for it, it wasn’t there. Then we asked ChatGPT if the show was real and guess what? Whoopsie, ChatGPT had just made it up!

For me it’s this classic

Are we talking about the same FBI run by Kash Patel? That FBI?

Saw a presidential doppelgänger during the morning dog walk. Both of these are prominently displayed by their caretakers despite the fact that they’re rotting from the inside out.

The diagnosis: Baja Blastoma

I’m not a doomer “law doesn’t matter anymore!” guy, but even so, I don’t believe anyone in the chain of command is gonna be criminally prosecuted for these murders. Our criminal legal system has long been allergic to holding people at the top accountable. And then you have the inevitable pardons…

This is actually quite brilliant, up to and including the final sentence 🔥

TFW you hear a child say “six seven”

The number of the Briest

One “sign of fatigue” is being asleep during an Oval Office meeting where you are the focal point of the event

TFW you’re listening to the guitar solo from “Pablo & Andrea” by Yo La Tengo.

getting a case dismissed because the prosecutor is fake has always been a fever dream of the most desperate criminal defense clients. can't believe for once it actually happened.

This is a lovely article. www.nytimes.com/interactive/...

[low pitched Bishop’s voice]: I’m going hungry… [high pitched Pope’s voice]: GOIN’ HUNGRYYYYYYYYYEEEAAAAHHHH

All this talk of bamboo made me want to hit my favorite local trail.

I’m thinking about getting into the journalism biz

Reading the news this evening like

Turkeys falling out of trucks, pigs spilling out of unmarked SUVs . . . Charlotte’s been through a lot this week!

Nikki Haley endorsed Donald Trump in 2024. She worked for him during his first administration. Unclear why the WSJ would pretend that Haley’s son is “straying.” This MAGA degenerate apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

I Love You Dollar

Turns out all we had to do to fix the trade deficit was make it harder for Americans to afford to buy stuff

Let the HOA know I’ll see them in court

Can you spot the bandit that spied on us from the creek during the morning dog walk?

I’m thinking about getting into the journalism biz

This is Trump telling us he’s going to physically destroy evidence, right?

Report: Oyster Cracker–Wise, Nation Doing Pretty Good https://theonion.com/report-oyster-cracker-wise-nation-doing-pretty-good-1819578214/

Another hellish day in the war zone known as Charlotte, NC. If only some heavily armed and insecure federal goons would save us . . .

Someone tell Gregory Lockjaw Bovino that I located an antifa weapons cache in Charlotte, NC

the thrill of living is gone

This is the most glamorous opening to an article about a white supremacist flattering journalist who lied to her readers and editors while having an affair with narcissistic crank who eats roadkill, swims in sewer water, will cause children to die, and is 50 years her senior that I've ever read.

Morning walk complicated by dispute with neighbor.

Jesus Christ, I would have been fired into the sun by the US Attorney if I pulled this shit

They might be members of the Kow Klux Klan. And I’ll bet they’re big fans of Border Patrol Chief Gregory Bovino.

*humanely* eaten

Found some long-lost photos over the weekend including these shots from shows in DC way back in 1999. Ian Svenonius on top of the crowd at a Makeup show at the Black Cat and Guy Picciotto at a Fugazi show at the Sanctuary.

omg

Homamdaniphones

500 minute abs

Hey, look, I’m just like that “comparing classic art to current events” account!

Dude will never have to pay for his own sandwich again

supreme court poised to side with "No We Shouldn't" in landmark case "We Should Shoot The Economy In The Head For No Reason v. No We Shouldn't"

america yesterday

In Charlotte, a dem flipped a city council seat formerly held by Tariq Bhokari (MAGA), who resigned to work for the Trump admin but was fired or quit after 5mos. His wife then ran for the seat. She ate shit by double digits in what used to be a safe red district.

That thing you say as you start getting your political ass whipping

Cuomover II: the Cuomovering