When the cops nabbed him they yelled “hands up, utensils down!” [dude looks like tom colicchio]

The MAGA resurrection of Kid Rock’s career is a literal miracle for the choads in the Kid Rock tribute band community.

it is may 2027. trump's disastrous trade wars and military conflicts abroad have continued to cause rampant domestic disruption. prices are higher than ever. the american economy is at a crisis point by every metric. polls show his approval has slipped from 32.8% to a record low of 32.6%

Okay here we go. I guess now that Trump has won the war in Iran, it’s time to kidnap another head of state. Went pretty smooth before, so this will probably be a walk in the park. 💥☠️

“Mr. Attorney General, I was mistreated and abused by the weaponized DOJ and I deserve compensation in the amount of $14.88 million.”

Catch some waves it’s gonna be a cyber summer

I’m a friend of all pizzas, and my favorites are in Chicago, but the best I’ve ever had, one that I think of pretty often, was DiFara in Brooklyn back in the early 2000s.

ELECTION UPDATE: GOP Congressman Colt McKlanahan has lost his primary race against Trump endorsed opponent James Crow

“A Pizza Hut franchisee claims the chain’s AI-powered delivery system, meant to optimize orders and speed up deliveries, instead backfired and cost it more than $100 million.”

I didn’t go to West Point or read the Art of War. Is it a good idea to make the White House into a weapons facility that enemies would prioritize as a target for destruction?

It was a bad call

Trump Take Lube

Congee for breakfast. I never made it until recently. An easy one-pot dish adaptable to ingredients you have on hand, perfect for stretching that dollar in case we keep sliding into recession or worse. This has chopped spam, scallion, ginger, and chicken broth. Topped with more scallion + chili oil.

When I order a five dollar milkshake

I’ve worked in criminal law for the last 20+ years, and have been representing people charged in homicide cases for the last 10 years. Number of cases I’ve seen involving use of muzzleloader firearms? Zero.

I wonder if they realize that people are going to notice the Ghislaine Maxwell pardon even if they try to distract from it with 249 other pardons

Hantavirus implies the existence of Gatheravirus

My daughter sent me this point-and-shoot film photo. I love it because the dog's physiology, the dog's behavior, and the framing are all minimally dynamic. What dog looks like that, let alone stands still on a beach? What photographer frames something so statically centered? It all fits.

this graduation speech moment is notable, and her amazed shock at having failed to read the room feels instructive. when you're inside the bubble, you think everybody else is. but everybody isn't.

Some say you shouldn’t automatically disregard an artists’s work just because they have bad politics or horrific worldviews. I agree. Take Jelly Roll for example: sure, he’s a shitty Trumper, but if you take the time to listen to his music, you’ll find that that sucks too.

“Why one of the city’s leading armed robbers isn’t worried about rising crime rates”

Finally replaced our old kitchen faucet today and was reminded that years ago I used an old headset race as a spacer/washer to snug the faucet stem in a too-large hole. #plumbing #bikes

This is like Miami Vice but if it was set in Chattanooga TN

I fucking hate these two fuckers

This is an amazing video.

TFW you get kicked off the plane for getting wasted and groping a flight attendant

Okay but were those two people, metaphorically speaking, “turkeys”?

Golden Tempo

Chicago's skyline seen from a Noble Square work site #chicago #skyline #cityscape #urbanphoto #blackandwhite

Much needed rain closed the trails so I filled the morning with some much needed bike maintenance including a new set of tires (tubeless setup).

Where is a Rudolph Giuliani and what is he doing? The world misses him and demands more hilarious Rudy content.

[fanning all my cards out to show my UNO opponents that I won] “READ EM AND WEEP, BOYS!”

Trump: "The first lady hates when I dance to what is sometimes referred to as the gay national anthem. We love that song."

man I do not trust graham platner as far as I can throw him but I guess it’s him or collins now and the senate math means we are going to need his vote to have any chance to do any of the stuff we need this sucks and I sure hope I’m wrong about him

Is OPEC+ just the ad-free version of OPEC?

Tired: Death to America Inspired:

Did Trump just say that his security detail Drew their guns so fast it was “just like Matt Dillon?”

“And about eight percent are shot at.” PRESIDENT Donald Trump, 4/25/26 On the topic of Presidents of the United States

I guess Kash doesn’t want to go to Valhalla after all

Those attending the White House Correspondents’ Dinner will have a choice between vegetarian and non-veg entree options: turkey baster filled with Methylene Blue or Raccoon Penis Tartare.

I simply don’t think the topic of Hasan Piker warrants this much discussion

What’s the part that went wrong?

watching the Jersey Mike’s worker make my sandwich

Her wig isn’t even that big

Most people think of bulls as very direct, but they are definitely capable of innuendo

You're Gen X. You can bring back one thing from the 80s. What is it?

It’s hard to get that guy off the couch

I think the Charlotte Hornets just need a lil power nap

The extreme lethality of Pete Hegseth’s Department of War is most impressively demonstrated by its Navy Culinary Specialists