worst tape imaginable ping ponging one stupid fucking Vance trip headline after another

you could make a lot of money on front running JD Vance is leaving for Pakistan - not that any Trump insiders would do that or anything amirite

$VIX back to where it was a week ago Monday, but $SPX is 200 handles higher

Warsh could have shut up a lot of naysayers about his independence from Trump if he simply answered who won the 2020 election. He chose not to.

VANCE’S TRIP TO ISLAMABAD ON HOLD: NYT lmao even

A pro-Iran hacking group that has been relentlessly targeting American companies with DDoS attacks claims it disrupted Bluesky with what the social media site called a “sophisticated” attack that “intensified” on Thursday.

Zuck sucks part one billion Meta to Install Tracking Software on US Employee Computers:  Meta is set to install new tracking software on US-based employees’ computers to capture mouse movements, clicks and keystrokes for use in training its AI model

*KALSHI PLANS TO OFFER CRYPTO TRADING IN US: INFORMATION

as almost always happens everyone who piled into $BIRD after the first 10 minutes last Wednesday is now under water and the average trade marked to market = a loss of $1 billion

I mean it very well could have been Hassett instead of Warsh (thank god he's howdy doody in a suit on the teevee and Trump can't deal)

“I would have won Vietnam very quickly” - Trump this morning

Metals dumper $SLV

I'll give Trump this -- Warsh script and delivery in his opening statement are 100% out of central casting - he's sounding thoughtful and balanced and hitting right notes

the market can't get enough <checks notes> Software stonks!

all-time high $CAT

*FERRARI SAID TO PRICE FIRST EV AT ABOUT €550,000 (Fed's gotta hike)

Avis halt <limit up> volatility

UAE cut outs bought 49% of Trump $WLFI Coin tit for tat (I mean Trump got the cash and it's your tax dollars but that's what you voted for)

if you're wondering how Trump has 45 minutes to shoot the shit with Joe Kernen he's in the beginning stages of a 5 and a half hour block of executive time today so

Dow closed 49,442 and $UNH will add ~150 points when the market opens

the two largest pre-market percentage gainers - ready? Beyond Meat Groupon

*TRUMP: REPLACED ANTHROPIC WITH PEOPLE LIKE SAM ALTMAN *TRUMP: ANTHROPIC PEOPLE HAVE HIGH IQS, THINK WE'LL GET ALONG

CNBC this morning Tim Scott, followed by Ted Cruz, followed by Donald Trump tell me you want Brendan Carr to approve the sale next year without telling me you want Brendan Carr to approve the sale next year* *all predictions guaranteed

They're seriously running all the reindeer games -- here ya go Blackberry and AMC up 70% and 85% in April

I can say after decades of having it on in office/trading room floor in the background I have perfected the ability to not hear one word said, which I'll do now

CNBC this morning Tim Scott, followed by Ted Cruz, followed by Donald Trump tell me you want Brendan Carr to approve the sale next year without telling me you want Brendan Carr to approve the sale next year* *all predictions guaranteed

you: we need 24/7 trading me: it's nothing but bad actors and bad outcomes - in a 2 minute span someone jammed CAR from $640 to $690 on less than 5k shares at 4:22 EST $500k of volume should not equate to $2b in market cap thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

If I told you Avis did $12 b in revenue in 2022 and closed the year at $163/ share and this year it will do $11.7 bil in revenue

Absolute scenes in #$CAR

Knicks wyd

Among the many reasons I detest Kevin Hassett, it’s his willingness to go on TV and say things like this knowing full well the UAE Trump bribes are inclusive of owning 49% of WLFI. And for his unending support he got passed over for the Fed job Cuck more. You can’t.

Basically #$AAPL under Cook gave you the S&P 500 for performance

Undefeated #ettd

Whoa Tim Apple

$600

Donald J. Trump: I’m winning a War, BY A LOT, things are going very well

An under discussed topic is Trump’s personal crusade against US wind and solar power as the rest of the world’s production surges. It will have a long lasting negative effects on the environment and energy costs.

Bonus Miller Lite stat o' the day 0 The number of runs scored by the Mets in the 3rd inning this year (22 games) Dodgers have scored 23.

“Free speech is the bedrock of a functioning democracy" -Elon Musk 4/25/22 (the day Twitter accepted his bid)

the mother of all squeezes in $CAR continuing - FRT first day I was not able to access a borrow

PSA flip on the Boston Marathon - there is a 9 women pack in the lead and on the men's side a Kenyan is about to set the course record

<checks for a borrow>

JD Jared and Witkoff are going to be in Islamabad talking to themselves (at best some Iranians who don't actually hold power)

*TRUMP SAYS 'HIGHLY UNLIKELY' HE EXTENDS CEASEFIRE WITH IRAN anyway futures dumped

what we have so far is a snoozefest - below average daily volume $SPY -50% $QQQ -54% $IWM -43%

Stonk borrows I check every day at my prime broker: SWMR nope BIRD nope CAR thinking about it

Trump just told the NY Post he’s already on his way. Good times

oh look an Ohio based steel company is having its margins destroyed by higher energy inputs #ettd $CLF -7.7%

If Iran snatches JD, Trump will settle on the condition they keep him

Going into today I think we have had six straight weeks of a Monday futures print at least 100 handles above the Sunday night low - hard to overstate how profitable buying the dip has been