‘I'm pleased and happy to repeat the news that we have, in fact, decided not to destroy an entire civilisation. But, as you see, it's a beautiful day, The Strait of Hormuz is open and people are having a wonderful time.’

🤣🤣 The fRee spEaCh trillionaire has suspended my idle twitter account, citing the fact that I broke their rules 🤣 Haven't posted on there for nearly 2 years...

There are infinite ways this sentence could have been phrased, and he went with the one that keeps pushing his pathetic culture war "it's New Zealand not Aotearoa!1!!one!" flag.

A couple by me hanging out at the Velvet Easel Gallery Spring Exhibition alongside 'Break In The Blue' by Victoria Wylie! Stairway To Heaven | Connection 🔗 velveteasel.co.uk/artist/linds... | Ownart Gallery open Weds - Sun Portobello • Edinburgh • Scotland #art #painting #cityscape #infrastructure

Hi Ben, since you post about me every day and email me unsolicited even after I told you to stop, lets play a game. Every time you tweet about me, I donate $10 to a trans org. Let's call it the Benjamin Ryan youth transition fund. southernequality.app.neoncrm.com/nx/portal/fo...

If sexual assault accusations "ruin lives," maybe don't commit sexual assault. The solution is... shockingly simple.

Change a word, ruin a meal. Regretti bolognese.

Prepping works for upcoming exhibitions, here's a view of a few on the studio wall today! Keep an eye on my linktree (in bio) for current and upcoming exhibitions! linktr.ee/lindseylavender

Delighted to have both my paintings selected for this year's Society of Women Artists Annual Open Exhibition at Mall Galleries this Summer! Balance | Meuse 90x64cm acrylic & oil on canvas 23-27 June : Mall Galleries, London www.society-women-artists.org.uk/exhibition-i...

On Thursday, federal agents arrested an Antifascist protest leader for interrupting a local church service. On Friday, he was convicted & executed with no due process. On Sunday, he rose.

April 2026 cover of The Economist.

I miss Carl Sagan.... But also, I'm glad he's not here to see how much more shitty things got after he died. 😔

2016 vs. 2026 👀 No judgment in brainstorming.

A wee one by me hanging out at The Velvet Easel Gallery in their Spring Exhibition beside the iconic 'Sardine Clock' by Quirky Metals Nightwalking Porty 21x15cm acrylic & oil on board 🔗 velveteasel.co.uk/artist/linds... | Own Art Gallery open Weds - Sun Portobello • Edinburgh • Scotland

Dirty dancing for Jesus to get my Easter egg. Happy Easter 🐣

If you see this, post a picture from whatever device you're using with no explanation.

Late for this week's Colour Collective (a weekly art challenge based around a single, allocated colour) here's my offering for #Nyanza St Peter's : Study 1 21x15cm acrylic & oil on board showing at a gallery near you this summer! 🔗 link in bio Cardross • Dumbarton • Scotland

"Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.” ~ Terry Pratchett

Crucifriday was right there lads

The Spring Exhibition at Thompsons Gallery may have ended but my work is still in stock for the time being! Contact Abigail at the gallery for details! Old Town, Rhodes | Skew Portal | Archway 🔗 www.thompsonsgallery.co.uk/artists/619-... | Ownart 3 Seymour Place • London • W1H 5AZ

Delighted to hear my painting 'Florentin Study' sold at Graystone Gallery! Contact Anna at the gallery to see what's available! Florentin Study (SOLD) Dene | Crosspoint | Apricity Study |Patriothall 🔗 graystonegallery.com/artists/86-lindsey-lavender/works | Ownart Stockbridge • Edinburgh • Scotland

Apparently, she wanted at least ONE SCRUB.

Princess Anne continues to merge with the Christopher Walken meme

Worried about how your car looks? Get a Ferrari... Worried how handsome your husband is? Marry Brad Pitt... Worried about running out of chocolate? Win Willy Wonka's chocolate factory in a very dubious competition... Obvious really. Pulitzer on it's way. www.nzherald.co.nz/northern-adv...

Things not to do on April Fool's Day - Any prank involving superglue. Break up with someone. Assume any story about Donald Trump is a joke.

Happy Trans Day of Visibility. I hope you're safe and able to be your best self in the face of all the people using you as a distraction from the real problems. #TransDayOfVisibility

There are 01 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't!

What a cracking bit of cinematography. GoonLuckHaveFunDon'tDie

Delighted to have both paintings selected for the Society of Women Artists Annual Open Exhibition at Mall Galleries this Summer! Meuse | Balance 90x64cm acrylic & oil on canvas 23-27 June Mall Galleries, London

Her grin knowing how this arrest looks (Published in The Atlantic today)

Hope

What’s a lie your parents told you that you believed for too long? When I was little, my mom told me one day that those white and blue “H” signs on the highway meant I had to stop talking because sick people in the hospital nearby were trying to sleep. I believed that until I was… out of college

Far Right Here. Far Right Now.

man.. China is WAY ahead of the curve on so many fronts

I finally got my prints from @tokyosexwhale.bsky.social up on the wall. So good. So happy. They're a really talented artist.

Trump's so powerful he can bring royalty back from the dead for a state visit.

Say what you want about Iran but Iran’s trolling skillz are chefs kiss

We’ve told all the casting agents that the Weird Al biopic sequel is currently on hold, but they just keep sending in headshots.

🚨🚨 FINAL WEEK!! Thompson's Gallery Spring Exhibition ends this Friday 27 March !! SKEW (detail) 40x30cm acrylic on paper 🔗 www.thompsonsgallery.co.uk/artists/619-... | Own Art 3 Seymour Place • London • W1H 5AZ #art #painting #cityscape #infrastructure

“Wrestling’s fake!” Oh yeah? Then explain this

I just want to say, "no notes" to Bluesky's image crop for this article. All anyone needs to know about this bozo is his 'Sideshow Bob' hair do...

It’s as easy as shutting your effin mouth! And did I mention… it’s free?!

Did you know there was a bird called 'Elegant euphonia?' You do now bsky.app/profile/nora...

Consider this post notice for my impending defamation law suit. @dailymail.co.uk I never once “hailed the murder” of Charlie Kirk. THIS is what it looks like to hail someone’s death:

No broken bones. Feeling the 3 bruised ribs and sprained ankle today, though. This crash could’ve been deadly for me, the Hounds, and the owners of the other cars, had they been inside. www.gofundme.com/f/support-jo...

Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap. In this economy..?

Waking up every day and reading the news