I’m due for a trip to H Mart and Costco.

I just made the most delicious snack, my goodness. Toasted a piece of sourdough and slathered it with garlic n herb Boursin. Topped it with some cream cheese stuffed picante peppers, red onion, banana peppers and capers that have been marinating in deli dressing and seasoning the past couple days. 😮‍💨

This Christmas, my thoughts are with everyone who has lived through abuse, is healing from it, or is still navigating the holidays with someone who makes celebration feel impossible. I hope you find moments of peace and that Christmas feels a little lighter for you this year. 🎄💛 #YouAreNotAlone

Crying at videos of kids opening their gifts and crying lmao lemme go to sleep man

Tell me you got something to give, I want it. I kinda like it when you call me wonderful. ☺️

I’m glad my mobility is decent. Definitely asked my mom to moisturize and rebraid my hair before leaving, but -sigh-.

Does it make sense to get a bird feeder for an apartment balcony?

Hey friends - I have an extra general admission ticket for the 9:30p Cerrome and Munk show on the 27th. We don’t have to sit together (unless you want to) but if you can be at the venue around 8:45p so I can get you in…let me know 💙

I always miss out when yall being grown on here :(

Can yall help me get home? I can’t tell you what’s happened because I’m beyond traumatized I’m traumatized by my rapist. I need yall to help me get home… please

I have bananas left over from when I couldn’t keep anything down. Lemme find a banana chocolate chip bread recipe.

Trying to figure out which pajamas I’m wearing tomorrow. They gotta allow me easy access to show off my boobs!

Daniel Radcliffe seems like the sweetest, most regular person ever lol.

The opened mouthed laughing in his face really does it for me lmao

Merry Chrysler to all, & to all, stay tight! 😴 🎄🎅🏽🤶🏽

Merry Christmas everyone!

I was just wondering that lmao

It's not Christmas until you hear this.

Beyoncé was talking about Rudolph Haters Negro Nose Sleigh FORMATION ...

A big bowl of chilled cantaloupe or watermelon would hit right now.

What Christmas playlist are yall playing tomorrow?

Absolutely. Also, Rudolph is a Black ass name. I have a cousin named Rudolph, hell!

A bunch of chumps were hating on Rudolph all bc he had a red nose. Mfs wouldn’t even play with him. Anti Black! Bc nobody is the victim of featurism like Black folks. Anyway, as chumps do, they didnt fuck with him til they could extort what made him beautiful & tbh superior. Now they homies. 🫩 Fin

Idc about being in matching pjs for Christmas next year bc my friends and I will be in matching bikinis on an island lmao. Now THAT I am looking forward to.

Oh I know someone who would LOVE this lol.

Happy hoes ain’t hatin and hatin hoes ain’t happy

I’m on a 3 day streak at LEAST of not hearing “Alexandra please,” so that’s progress.

Long time no see. Merry Christmas Eve 😮‍💨

Mom: Does CashApp have his own money? Me: Who? Mom: What’s Rihanna’s boyfriend’s name? Me: *laughs uncontrollably*

I would love to get back to Houston. It’s one of my favorite cities for good food. But Lord, I’m scared to travel to Texas these days. 😭

I shole had me one in Savannah. Sex that feels like you’re in love but yall only speak when you’re home every six months>>>

Shout out to everyone who’s home for the holidays and can do a lil ho ho hoeing with their favorite hometown hero.

You may not get what you want or be able to give what you wish, but kindness is always free. So give that in abundance.

Nah. *right* in the middle of dinner

Know what is so chic to me? Using food in floral arrangements. Like using the greens from carrots in an arrangement while the actual carrot is in the vase. Or adding artichokes to arrangements.

And the site is 25% off till 12/31 at 11:59pm

Finally got me a proper house coat and lemme tell ya. Ima be in this thing all winter lmao.

We may not always see eye to eye. But there are few people in this world who will go to war for me the way my sister will. I am my mother’s child but I am my sister’s baby. On more than one occasion she had to get our mother together when it came to me.

Please have some chalants when you deal with me.

I can’t stand these kinds of jeans bc it feels like a way for niggas to sneakily wear dirty clothes. 🤨

It’s not even kids I’m against, it’s pregnancy. Pregnancy sounds like a terrible, 0/10 experience. I am a BYOW (being your own womb) queer.

I actually came across someone earlier this year who could’ve been promising. She’s a service Domme. Would’ve been perfect if 1) I was attracted to her, and 2) she didn’t immediately make it weird by trying to change my mind on children and stopped calling me Dr Taylor-Smith. 🫩

A nap sounds good.

I’m bossy but I don’t actually want to be in control. Anyone I date will need to understand this upfront lol. Ima always have something to say but I don’t wanna be in charge, I actually want to put my brain on power save mode.

I want a really good sammich. Some ham, white cheddar, mayo, green leaf or even iceburg lettuce, tomato, salt and pepper. On potato bread. Sliced diagonally. With some Doritos.

I’m in dire need of making it through to the New Year. I’m living in a hotel, in a new city with no support system. Every little bit is appreciated. Thank you in advance.

Butter been here for 4 days & I'm already out of food money 🫠 After Christmas dinner I'll still have 7 more days. I need like $200 to feed both of us (she has 13 food allergies) If you can help at all, I am willing to send you art in exchange for your donation pls CA: $SashaMonet Venmo: Meela-Jay

I want a good karaoke night. It’s been too long.

This past week spent with my mom caring for me after surgery showed me how nice it is to not have to be the most useful or competent person in the room. It’s so nice not feeling pressured to have everything together, to make sure everyone’s ok, or to make myself useful. Like wow I can just sit here.

It's almost time!!!! Starting this Friday we at the DC Comedy Loft for 5 shows!!! Get your tickets now! www.dccomedyloft.com/events/113749