Happy Ed Balls Day to all who celebrate

Ed Davey canoeing through the Strait of Hormuz to draw attention to the Lib Dems '10p off a litre' fuel policy h/t @worgztheowl.bsky.social

The courts should stop treating driving bans like they're this big hardship. If you kill or even seriously injure someone while driving, the ban should be for life. Take the bus and cry me a fucking river.

Tim Curry trending... [beat] Phew, it's his 80th,

'Do not call up that which you cannot put down.' - Carolus 1:1 et seq.

I love Easter Sunday Boxing Day. Now for a delicious fry-up of all the leftover chocola- oh.

My Easter reading: "..the Lord said I was hungry and you told me I could make a meal for 30p, I was a stranger and you told me to fuck off back where I came from, I was sick and you said I should get private health insurance..."

I shall call it "the internyet".

Oh lawd, she bombin’

President Zelensky said Russia launched nearly 1,550 attack drones, over 1,260 guided bombs and two missiles in a week, adding that increased oil revenues due to eased sanctions are funding the war. #Ukraine

Day 1463 of my 3 day war. I dreamed I was chased naked through a field of sunflowers by a pack of wild flamingos. I remain a master strategist.

The Fate of Melania (Randy’s Version) 🧡🎻

Starmer, the biggest domestic cause of doomscrolling for many on here, comes out against doomscrolling.

I've been inspired by the biathlon to write to #Parkrun and ask if they'd consider introducing a rifle element to their weekly event

No Reform MPs turned up to the debate on Russian influence on UK politics yesterday, because we are confident that we already know how it works and don’t need any further advice.

If you see this, quote with a robot that isn’t from “Star Wars”, “Star Trek”, “Dr. Who”, or “Transformers.”

"take a look boys, this is what you're fighting for"

oh no they put Marco in the cuck chair

This should be a summons to prosecution.

Law is not magic, and prohibitions are not spells. All a prohibition does is to change the legal and other consequences when a prohibited thing happens. Some prohibitions make sense, others make no sense at all.

Hire me to paint your cat. #caturday

I had to take a train recently. As I sat down, a man sat in the seat across the aisle me, and a woman sat in the seat in front of him, facing him. As the train pulled out of the station, the man took a book out of his bag and began reading. I glanced at the cover and saw it was a book about JFK.

"see this? this is my couldn't give a shit face"

Day 1419 of my 3 day war. Unleash the teletubbies!!! I remain a master strategist.

"Autistic #Barbie doesn't like to be touched. Put her down! If you look her in the eye, she turns away. She obsessively collects 1st editions of James Joyce's Ulysses and KitKat wrappers. She knows precisely how many hairs she has on her head, and doesn't like the texture of walnuts" #autism #asd

I call on my party and my government to remove themselves entirely from X and communicate with the public where they actually participate online and can be protected from such illegality.

Happy birthday to Kim Jong-Un. A reminder of our trusted alliance...

I don't really post anymore, but I would like to carry on writing books at some point in the future. Hate to be annoying, but any chance you could retweet so old twitter followers can find me if they want to? Going to delete my twitter, or at least abandon it on lock and let it die a slow death.

What skill did you master that you will never, ever use again? COBOL. iykyk.

Introduce yourself with five concerts you've seen: Zappa Plays Zappa The Magic Band Ian Dury and the Blockheads Bob Dylan (meh) Tim Fite (supporting Buck65)

Fiscal Drag is back #Budget25

Just ordered a second run of Rubbish Seaside books so that you lot don’t cry yourself to sleep this crimbo loudribs.com/product/the-...

A film you’ve seen more than seven times with a gif #200Motels

Irresponsibly posting my location on social media. (Hallowe'en edition)

eBay on the fur trade: "We don't allow endangered species listings on our site, but we sure as hell aren't going to stop them!" They have a hand in (and profit from) a huge number of Protected Species transactions. Bad on Cats and Crocodilians; but also elephant, sea mammal, turtle, Colobus...

Happy [Inter]national Coming Out Day, to those who celebrate🏳️‍🌈 #ICOD #NCOD

“The far right never seizes power. It’s always politely invited in by nice people.”

Posting this again because I really want people to see it. youtu.be/hiDQXfR3chA?...

God only knows what happened leading up to this pic

The Knights Who Say Ni****

I really wish I could send a double for annual review with Xi.

Wait, President Vance has banned dancing? Worldwide?!? #ExecutiveOrder

Stop giving a megaphone to misinformed racists

We see them as Geneva Suggestions.

FT reports that Trump has effectively sided with Putin, pressuring Ukraine to accept a capitulation-style “peace deal.” Ukrainian officials called his sharp shift in stance after the Alaska summit a “stab in the back.” Time for the EU to really step up if they really want Ukraine to win this war.

So Putin offers Trump Greenland in exchange for having Alaska back, and Trump agrees and so gives Alaska immediately back to Russia, and Trump boasts of the great deal he has made, and Putin then says Russia doesn’t actually yet have Greenland but if it ever does then America can have first refusal.

"Bend over, Donald".