Welcoming the fire horse Chinese New Year, I didn’t expect that it would be my giant dog eating an unreasonable amount of chilis. Flame on mini Pony…

douglas adams was our most accurate futurist

Doctors say that vaccines protect children from dangerous diseases. A nepo baby who barbecues dogs and snorts cocaine off toilet seats says that vaccines make children vulnerable to 5G radiation. For busy parents, it can be hard to know who to trust.

Prelude to a cat-astrophe…

Our newest cat is just over a year old; lanky, adorable and a delinquent. He has earned the endearing title “little asshole” due to his shenanigans. Sooooo. I caused a spit take at a family dinner explaining how I’ve been posting pictures of my little asshole on the internet.

Highlighting the speaker who stood in front of the Surprise mayor and told him to consider what the Mayor of Ohrdruf must’ve thought before he died by suicide: “He might have thought ‘how is this my fault I had no jurisdiction over this’ maybe he said ‘this site was not subject to local zoning.’”

brass solidarity band performing “stand by me” in the streets of whittier next to alex pretti’s memorial. the crowd started chanting “the people united will never be defeated” so they incorporated it into the song. i love minneapolis

Are you kidding me?!? I just… the stupidity is staggering. Truly astounding. No one in charge understands how this plays out, do they… thinking two steps ahead is beyond any of them.

When the bad guys win they become fixated on rewriting history and reframing themselves as the good guys.

My partner @jasoncapsaicin.bsky.social made a step by step guide on how to break up ice in your neighborhood in Minnesota. Enjoy!

Occasionally as a litigator you run across an opposing party who repeatedly breaches contracts and settlement agreements and legal requirements — just never abides by them. Generally competent lawyers point out that you shouldn’t do business with or enter contracts with that person. /1

Sales training legend Zig Ziglar summed it up succinctly decades ago: "You can't make a good deal with a bad guy."

Everything in this country and economy is now just one big scam

Sincerely one of the funniest things the WSJ has ever written or done. www.wsj.com/tech/ai/anth...

Scientists now believe that the human brain--a magic goo for worrying--can also be used to do other things

I’m working with a road surfacing project today; doing air monitoring, so I get to walk around collecting data, safety vest and aluminum clipboard. I’m writing down names, jobs, for paper work. Told the guys doing striping that I will make sure to only use 1 p in their titles *this* time.

Ruined sports today!! Emasculating men by explaining manly men things to them. Sorta the opposite of mansplaining?! @testastretta.bsky.social

I’d like to extend a giant fuck you to Mercury retrograde. You’re being a total bitch. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

So that's why he's called the head of state

OH: regarding the current news dumps “I know the fanfic title! “A Cockwork Orange”” 🍊 I can’t breathe I’m laughing so much!

Well well well if it isnt the Blowjob Brothers

My oldest hit 21 in Feb; her bff hit 21 this weekend on and wanted me there to celebrate (and dd!). Which of course! So much fun and great memories over the years with these sweet girls!! Everyone in this photo is of legal drinking age in the US, finally! 😂

Takeda’s dengue vaccine has demonstrated strong protection against infection and hospitalization for seven years, marking the longest efficacy reported among any available dengue vaccines.

Freddy Krueger Cougar Crawl on Elm street!

Talking not one but two octogenarians through screen sharing in zoom on PCs. Pray for me! 🙏🏻🤓😥

Document Forgery xkcd.com/3160/

Yay! My vote was counted!

Happy International Wombat day. Remembering a very cranky departed friend who rescued and rehabilitated one in his time. Cheers old friend.

Trivia champions tonight! I know my espresso terms; remember enough about planets and moons to speak by, and thank goodness someone else on our team had a grasp of Latino singers. And bunnies: we knew bunnies!

My mother; stubbornly refusing to concede in extreme Jenga.

Of course I had to stop!

Losing the war on woke

OH at my house: “How horney should I be on this job application?” 😳. Kids these days…. Still can’t cope with the use of blatant sexual terms for pedestrian contexts.

Dutch late night TV has its take

Imaging if after Sandy Hook Obama just decided the 2nd Amendment was something he could roll over because he felt like it.

Holy hell.

A real ad that scrolled across my timeline. But it feels weirdly accurate. Everything must go; Democracy is out, we’re clearing the way for Authoritarian Fascism!

"The man who shot Charlie Kirk was a conservative white man from Utah. But the fact that we assumed it was a transgender Mexican demonstrates how out of control Leftist rhetoric has gotten." Tomorrow in the Washington Post

Edi-Dub 2A - no idea how I was randomly assigned @testastretta.bsky.social favorite seat! 😂🥰 they must realize I am leaving my heart here, and however smooth they fly, it’s a rough flight for me.

Officer, I can explain; google said to yeet a donut!

Why, yes! What a brilliant idea! I think I will!!

AOC: Millionaires are very overrepresented in congress… If we want a congress that reflects the actual country we seek to represent and fight for, we need to have working class people who work here

Investment in affordable housing, universal basic income, and social justice will do more to address crime than police EVER will.

Dogs are getting vaccinated less and rabies rates are rising, in part because 37% of Americans think vaccines will give their dogs... pawtism. www.nbcnews.com/health/healt...

I wrote a bit about options for phones at protests, explaining the benefits and drawbacks, and added some security tips at the end.

Walz: "It boggles my damn mind that in the midst of a military takeover of our cities, the flaunting of the rule of law, that the press finds the need to talk about, 'Oh, there's a division in the Dem Party.' There's a division in my damn house & we're still married and things are good. That's life"

Words cannot adequately describe what a colossal disappointment our mainstream media has been during our slow descent into authoritarianism.