I love this for him.

Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto https://theonion.com/man-who-threw-molotov-cocktail-at-sam-altmans-home-claims-he-was-following-chatgpt-recipe-for-risotto/

My mother has absolutely no poker face. Milk chocolate wine, cannot recommend.

Take a moment to remember how weird it is our president communicates with us through a bottom-tier social media site called Truth Social. It’s like if he governed from the comment section of a porn site.

If you're on signal & haven't already, maybe go to Settings → Notifications → Content → Name Only or No Name or Content Because apparently phone forensics can scrape msgs from notifications storage. Not just a signal problem, btw. Any encrypted messaging service w/ a "msg preview" type of setting

Halfway through this article arguing that San Francisco's new "tough love" mayor improved disorder and drug overdoses in the city, the author reveals that the improvement happened under the previous mayor. www.nytimes.com/2026/04/06/o...

TRUMP: “Do everything I ask or I’ll bomb you back into the Stone Age!” IRAN: “How about, instead, you do everything we ask and we’ll call it a day?” TRUMP: “Deal.” FOX NEWS: “Awesome Trump is the world’s most masterful negotiator!”

In space, no one can hear you reply all.

I definitely felt that!

i swear this gov is a TV show. the head of intelligence got hacked and used his real name for a porn account. the head of dept of war accidentally texted war plans to a journalist. and now former head of homeland security grappling with husband's secret cross-dressing double life in anti-LGBTQ admin

ALL DRINKS WILL BE HOT OR LUKEWARM FROM NOW ON CUZ WE DON’T SUPPORT I**

CISA acting director uploading official documents to ChatGPT, FBI director’s personal email hacked. Imposter syndrome should never be a problem again after this administration….

A very tiny praying mantis!

The allegory is so loud it's giving me a headache.

Everyone needs to stop what they’re doing and watch this video. “It seems like there’s a lack of diversity here today, and it’s mostly people who look like you and me, and I just…?” This lady’s response is🔥

This is Hank. He is incredibly invested in this plumbing project that does not require him in the slightest. 13/10 (TT: compound_interest_)

Got my new LA Metro TShirt! Thanks @testastretta.bsky.social !!

Incredible

Violent Femmes!!! Fun show for a Tuesday evening. Geriatric mosh pit. Dude, where’s my glasses! 🤓 😂

It happened again

Welcoming the fire horse Chinese New Year, I didn’t expect that it would be my giant dog eating an unreasonable amount of chilis. Flame on mini Pony…

douglas adams was our most accurate futurist

Doctors say that vaccines protect children from dangerous diseases. A nepo baby who barbecues dogs and snorts cocaine off toilet seats says that vaccines make children vulnerable to 5G radiation. For busy parents, it can be hard to know who to trust.

Prelude to a cat-astrophe…

Our newest cat is just over a year old; lanky, adorable and a delinquent. He has earned the endearing title “little asshole” due to his shenanigans. Sooooo. I caused a spit take at a family dinner explaining how I’ve been posting pictures of my little asshole on the internet.

Highlighting the speaker who stood in front of the Surprise mayor and told him to consider what the Mayor of Ohrdruf must’ve thought before he died by suicide: “He might have thought ‘how is this my fault I had no jurisdiction over this’ maybe he said ‘this site was not subject to local zoning.’”

brass solidarity band performing “stand by me” in the streets of whittier next to alex pretti’s memorial. the crowd started chanting “the people united will never be defeated” so they incorporated it into the song. i love minneapolis

Are you kidding me?!? I just… the stupidity is staggering. Truly astounding. No one in charge understands how this plays out, do they… thinking two steps ahead is beyond any of them.

When the bad guys win they become fixated on rewriting history and reframing themselves as the good guys.

My partner @jasoncapsaicin.bsky.social made a step by step guide on how to break up ice in your neighborhood in Minnesota. Enjoy!

Occasionally as a litigator you run across an opposing party who repeatedly breaches contracts and settlement agreements and legal requirements — just never abides by them. Generally competent lawyers point out that you shouldn’t do business with or enter contracts with that person. /1

Sales training legend Zig Ziglar summed it up succinctly decades ago: "You can't make a good deal with a bad guy."

Everything in this country and economy is now just one big scam

Sincerely one of the funniest things the WSJ has ever written or done. www.wsj.com/tech/ai/anth...

Scientists now believe that the human brain--a magic goo for worrying--can also be used to do other things

I’m working with a road surfacing project today; doing air monitoring, so I get to walk around collecting data, safety vest and aluminum clipboard. I’m writing down names, jobs, for paper work. Told the guys doing striping that I will make sure to only use 1 p in their titles *this* time.

Ruined sports today!! Emasculating men by explaining manly men things to them. Sorta the opposite of mansplaining?! @testastretta.bsky.social

I’d like to extend a giant fuck you to Mercury retrograde. You’re being a total bitch. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

So that's why he's called the head of state

OH: regarding the current news dumps “I know the fanfic title! “A Cockwork Orange”” 🍊 I can’t breathe I’m laughing so much!

Well well well if it isnt the Blowjob Brothers

My oldest hit 21 in Feb; her bff hit 21 this weekend on and wanted me there to celebrate (and dd!). Which of course! So much fun and great memories over the years with these sweet girls!! Everyone in this photo is of legal drinking age in the US, finally! 😂

Takeda’s dengue vaccine has demonstrated strong protection against infection and hospitalization for seven years, marking the longest efficacy reported among any available dengue vaccines.

Freddy Krueger Cougar Crawl on Elm street!

Talking not one but two octogenarians through screen sharing in zoom on PCs. Pray for me! 🙏🏻🤓😥

Document Forgery xkcd.com/3160/

Yay! My vote was counted!