The little bat with her sacrificial egg box.

I only nibbled her ears just a tiny bit.

My takeaway has taken 2 hours. I might eat the dog.

I am going to the psychiatrist this week, just to meet him, to know he's there. And, ironically, I feel I need him. I need a father. I need a mother. I need some older, wiser being to cry to. I talk to God, but the sky is empty, and Orion walks by and doesn't speak. Sylvia Plath

Found a secret door in the back of my washing machine. Behind it a tiny room with rows of mice fast asleep in odd-sock sleeping bags.

Nick Offerman interview in yesterday's Guardian 💖

NEW Why the prime minister ordered an independent investigation into MI5 Neither Keir Starmer nor the High Court accepted the security service’s explanation of a serious error By me at @prospectmagazine.co.uk www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/ideas/law/th...

For ~90 joyous minutes last night a pack of neighbors had a glorious dream to install a life-size TRex in the world’s worst mini-roundabout. Transportation logistics defeated us, which is for the best b/c I know ultimately it woulda ended up in our yard - both the up & the downside to the scheme tbh

#FontsOnFriday #StJames #Picadilly by #Huguenot #refugee #GrinlingGibbons

IMAGINE.

I mean, some people are bogeymen... But most normal members of the public are just affected/moulded by their circumstances and act accordingly, right?

Rather than patronising the fuck out of me, reply guys would probably be better served by looking at my profile, at the top of which is an obit for my dad, a Conservative & academic, who I argued with for most of my adult life. 😆 Cross-party consensus isn't reached by painting others as boogeymen.

It's been a while since I've interacted with someone who accused me being patronising because I... Called them out for being... Patronising. Who are these people?! And why can they not make their own arguments? lol

It's almost looks like ICE is made up of people who have a history of abusing people weaker them. It's almost like the Right in the UK is made up of people who do the same. Violence in the public sphere should be unacceptable. It's not free speech. It's not protection.

"You, Siobhan, are the reason people are voting Reform/Conservative, by criticising a failing NHS." 😆 It always baffles me how some people on the internet think their silly opinions matter to people they've never met. Does this kind of posturing work for them in real life? Yeesh.

Nice to wake up to an utterly patronising reply guy assuming I don't know what a passport is. 😂

The dragon from the 1958 Mugnaini-illustrated edition of 'Beowulf'. #BookologyThursday #dragon #monster #folklore #legend

Someone elderly chided me for swearing, today. And then someone else (also elderly) said "Quite right. Young ladies don't swear." They then both looked at me expectantly, as though they were waiting for me to apologise, chastened. I took a beat, before replying, "They absolutely fucking do."

OBAMA: It's fair to say that 80% of the world's problems involve old men hanging on who are afraid of death and insignificance, and they won't let go. They build pyramids, and they put their names on everything. They get very anxious about it.

Pigeon towers of Cairo. Wonderful vernacular structures found all over the informal areas of the city and sometimes taller than the houses they sit on.

'And the butterflies began to sing ' by Max Ernst, 1929.

Spent 5 minutes trying to get my dog's attention before I realised it was just a crudely-made papier-mache decoy. Ran to the window just in time to see my real dog driving off in my car

writing is such a sophisticated and varied art form that i hesitate to prescribe any immutable rules of writing, except for this one: no matter what you're writing, be it fiction, personal narrative, an academic paper, or a patent application, you should begin every paragraph with "Erm ..."

Madison, WI — 64 years ago today Governor Gaylord Nelson signs a law making Wisconsin the first state to require wearing a seat belt when in the front seat of a car.

People reposting or quoting something you've written on here really makes one feel a little bit like Claudius... "I don't want to be an emperor!"

I don't need an ID card. I need the NHS to work.

You know what my favourite toy was when I was a kid? A post office set. At no point in my life have I aspired to be a sub-postmaster. However, many of my happiest hours as a child were spent selling my mother bogus postal orders and issuing her with TV licences that had no legal status.

Behold this 18th-century cure for both excessive tea drinking AND enthusiastic teenage masturbation ... Also, childbirth and "grief", because why not 🫖🍆😭

I've been waiting for 30 minutes...

as you can see here our officers recovered a bullet featuring a tiny bawdy portrait of my wife addressed to the shooter and signed with lipstick kisses. we are investigating whether this was done via some form of silk screening or if my wife can instead become very small. we have no further comment

Obama photographer Pete Souza posted this pic of Obama on that UN escalator… www.instagram.com/p/DO9GFjUEZi...

Engraving two bullets with "this bullet only lies" and "this bullet only tells the truth" to really stump the FBI

Anyway, I've been sitting here for 15 minutes and the auto tuned Love Island vibe music is making me want to gouge my own eyes out.

I'm sitting in a bank. They have their own radio station. The DJ is a relentlessly cheerful Essex type who sounds like he has whitened teeth. He wants people listening to call/email him for chats: "What's going on in your life, right now?" Tempted to give a sweary rundown of the past 6 months.

NEW The Prime Minister’s extraordinary and significant statement on MI5 misleading the High Court A practical example of the judiciary and executive holding the security service to account By me Substack: emptycity.substack.com/p/the-prime-... Personal blog: davidallengreen.com/2025/09/the-...

Just listened to a high schooler talk about her most prized possession, her dad's vintage music collection he gave to her. CDs, guys. The vintage music collection is CDs.

This is a delightful thread by Henson biographer @brianjayjones.com if you need a little pick-me-up in hard times. Or any time. Just read the thread, okay? 🤣

Right. Time to stop crying. I have paperwork to sort. Is it anything to do with me? No. Will I earn money from this work? Also, no. Am I too poor to be doing work that doesn't pay me? Affirmative. Did... I have a bird on my windowsill this morning? See below.

Guys. Foment and ferment are not the same thing.

There's no substitute for the panic created by looking at your phone, first thing, and seeing a string of missed calls, is there? I was trying so hard to have a gentle, calm morning.

Well, this looks lovely.

BUT ANYWAY. Good morning! Up and at 'em!

[Withnail, close to tears] “I have become vulnerable in the night-time economy”.

Bond will be a fresh faced British actor.

Do I shut my eyes for just, like, 5 minutes? Or do I get up and properly go to bed?

Feels weird being able to play my music as loud as I want... I used to keep it down. But then my neighbour died. So I have nobody to be considerate of. A strange feeling.

There was a great little food place opposite Spitalfields when I worked there that served amazing roast chicken lunch boxes. The best part was the dijon and tarragon mayonnaise that they served with the chicken. I salute you, lovely people who are no longer there. You changed my life. 😆

5 calls from the same person, today. I cannot.

So. I have another waiting list place to add to my collection. All my health problems currently require me to wait for over a year before I can even talk to someone...