just the absolute biggest crybabies in history

Absolutely dying at right-wing radio host Sid Rosenberg getting so angry that Mr. and Mrs. Met hugged @mayor.nyc.gov that he started calling them antisemites and became a Yankees fan.

trying to imagine the room as he workshopped this one

"for unknown reasons, my mortal enemies appear to be concerned with the core essence of humanity in a way that my allies are not. oh well, better not think about it too hard."

interesting to note that driving for doordash is a way to get extremely close to the president for anybody who might be into that sort of thing

see, what you have to understand is that i am incredibly stupid, it’s honestly a wonder that I make it through the day, I barely understand what I see happening in front of my eyes

they had our number when they said they couldn't retaliate against us for killing their national heroes because our heroes are cartoon characters

Scrotus and Rictus

pope joe arpaio

I bet negotiating with jd vance feels an awful lot like negotiating with kendall roy

The 10 year old Chapo trope that all republican politics runs on a combination of psychosexual sadism and divorced boat dealership owners remains undefeated.

Just pictured this getting bombed to smithereens and got a rush of endorphins

banned from the fossil id subreddit cuz I couldn’t stop commenting “wow!” on every post

my “my husband did not acquire me from a sex trafficking ring” tshirt is raising a lot of questions

automatic? shouldn’t we have to show 3 forms of govt validated ID to make sure that no undocumented immigrants can infiltrate our army of warfighters??

I would never make a claim like this without knowing what my weapons pack looks like and how many lives I get

do any of these fuckers realize you can just start a podcast without causing widespread death and destruction first

thakn you god for giving iran a giant victory against america, we praise you for making gas $5/gallon

it’s pretty funny to imply that the dead american soldiers and downed fighter jets and friendly fire incidents were the result of god taking his eye off the ball

If im giving a speech and its not going well, I dont care, ill go on my phone

for me every day is competency day but your way is cool too

then they confirmed that of course they still plan on voting for his nominees

democrats relieved that they have another 2 weeks to do absolutely nothing

Kramer finally going "WHY DONT YOU JUST TELL ME THE NAME OF THE MOVIE YOU WANT TO SEE" posing as Moviefone

we have one hope left: the senate parliamentarian

had a patient today tell me I look like paul rudd then literally the next patient said i look like dennis from its always sunny and it’s like yes thank you I know im a generic looking white guy

These people simply can’t be real

It's important that the Criterion Channel keeps adding new movies because I know intuitively that when I've seen them all I'll die

10yo: do you know even what easter is? 6yo: yeah it’s when they nailed jesus to the cross and then he got struck by lightning

thank god, brb telling my daughter to get lost

You know whose fault it actually is that bluesky is dying? the reply guys, who consistently let down power users with substandard riffs and slightly off-topic GIFs

I don’t want to be alarmist but there’s a part of me that worries that as this war gets more and more out of control that trump and hegseth would consider dropping a nuclear bomb so that they can declare victory

somebody who only reads the new york times would have no idea how fucked up our country actually is

what’s the most you ever lost in a coin toss?

personally I think "Federal Judge Approves Trump Effort to Obtain List of Jews From Penn" is a bad thing to read in the newspaper www.nytimes.com/2026/03/31/u...

stock markets surge as donald trump announces peace talks with a guy he thinks is from iran but is really latino

I don’t know if the nyt has given control of its communications account to its most virulently anti trans zealots but I do know that if they had it wouldn’t look any different than this

guy trying to convince his wife to convert to catholicism so he can be president: we need to bring back exorcisms

say what you will about this guy but it does place into stark contrast the CEOs who are not doing *anything* to try and dissuade somebody from shooting them

FACT CHECK: TRUE

false

being a spoiled rich kid is based now

see? here's the thing. A lot of people are like, the earth is fucked, it's beyond salvation, it's hit the tipping point, but time and time again we see that if we just fucking fixed the problem, it rebounds so incredibly fast. Imagine what could be done if people actually cared

happy st patrick’s day

mayor mamdani, is it my roommate’s turn to do the dishes

in the past I’ve thought that nobody could get the better of isaac chotiner in an interview but I bet marc andreesen could do it