my boy Credulous Faulk: The law come down me: what ? my boy Credulous Faulk: A guy in a charcoal mantle ride down from on top Beckoners Hill with lilies and little fossils that spell up what the law is. We have to behave the way it says. The law come down. me: i just learned the old ways dude

JESUS: This is my body given to you JUDAS: (trying out a new hat) Hey guys, sorry I’m late JESUS: lmaooo wtf is THAT. did you fall headfirst into a beaver’s asshole? JUDAS: This style is actually very popular in Capernaum JESUS: Yeah, Cap-of-rectum JUDAS: (under his breath) I’m so sick of this shit

reading people, yet again, describing me as the biggest most dangerous threat on this microblogging website for unspecified behaviors they cannot name, without receipts, again

reparations cash.app/$glsz time. put your $20 dollars away you transsexual, this shit ain't a round robin. where are my paypigs?

“i think people who make fun of me are like cancer” “it is wrong for people with graduate degrees to be rude to me, don’t they understand class and status?” “i am a narcissist with glass bones please soothe me with narcissistic supply” “writing a new essay called ‘how the left turned me fascist’”

what my phone sees while i post:

from here on out i will be standing above you just like this every single morning when you wake up and never offer any explanation

My hot new microtonal rock band, Untamed Beasts. Before every song we let small children mess around with the instruments and the dials on all the pedals, just completely fucking things up. Then we rock out.

“I’ve heard of ‘brain drain’ but this is ridiculous”

We must do a lot of esoteric silliness

i think it's a good thing that someone is working against our attempted genocide of cuba

🎵 Bah-da, bah-da-da, da Bah-da, bah-da-da, da Bah-da, bah-da-da, da Maundy, Maundy (Bah, da, bah da-da, da) 🎵

Unfriendly warning: if you drop stuff in toilets and urinals somebody will clean it up but it’ll stay clogged in the imaginal realm

Today is April fools day. There will be many pranks today.

Translators take years, even decades of their life to master their craft but a guy that speaks a single language is lecturing me on how nearly impossible it is to translate something between two extremely similar languages. I refuse to believe you have wrinkles in your brain.

Jerry is verified… finally a chance for Faramir, captain of Gondor, to show his quality!

Lazysky: I have an iPhone that might die soon and am medium-mad at Apple and Google. Are there libre-ish OS-handset combos that will work with AT&T and have reasonable app compatibility and GPS? I’m willing to spend a bunch of time playing with installers as long as it won’t crash while I’m driving

operator: 911, please state the nature of your emergency me: there’s a site i go to a lot that isn’t the best way to follow breaking news operator: is it a news site me: not really operator: why don’t you go to a news site me: i don’t know operator: jesus. ok. how many ambulances do you want me: 75

194. Portrait of a Dervish, 16th century, Bukhara. The Persian inscription reads: "Why then am I obliged to Heaven that it has given me a soul? For it has created within me a source of sorrows from which that soul suffers."

29. 'burning the clothes and books and costumes of the priests,' from Diego Munoz Camargo's 'description of the city and province of tlaxcala,' illustrated by an anonymous indigenous artist. c. 1581-1584.

Is there anyone in Atlanta who wants a ticket to the on cinema show and doesn’t have one, let me know

donald trump has died

As the first reanalysis data become available, I think I can say with a fairly high degree of confidence that the March 2026 heatwave will go down as the most anomalously extreme heat event ever observed at any time of year in the southwestern U.S.

It's sort of pitiful that apparently Gavin Newsom's highest aspiration is to become American Keir Starmer.

many of you would rather top a twink than stop and think

Can we get 10,000 RTs for this

Only in silence the word, Only in dark the light, Only in dying life: Bright the hawk's flight On the empty sky.

There will be a Vigil for Daphy Michel, who was killed by ICE, this Sunday at 7pm, at the East Carson & Smithfield Street bus shelter in Pittsburgh.

Merrye it be when ye database deployes

Triple that, and you got me 😎

In comedy, there's a "rule of three". That's why there's "three" Stooges, and not, say, 1,000,000.

Verbatim for mathematicians. No notes.

This is the secret to the output of so many prolific artists. There's someone to do all the other stuff. Fine and dandy if you can afford it, or swing it some other way, but it's so often completely invisible.

This ethics training would be more engaging if it mentioned Samuel Pepys

Need your fix of The Pitt but can’t afford HBO Max? Just stand around in Allegheny General until security kicks you out

Listening: SCP-2011-EX

As we speak the elvis name search guy (who unfortunately blocked me) is calling in sick to work

Exotic political opinion: I would love to run one of those rubber-stamp “left KMT”-style parties on behalf of the Haudenosaunee or Wabanaki confederations

Business writing advice: instead of writing “friendly reminder,” just remind people in a friendly way

"Job opportunities abound in Portland Maine" no they don't. That's not true

Dude allegedly stole $1.4 MILLION from, of all things, the Duquesne Incline?!

‘Some yelled “Alba-tizi” after him, a play on the PM’s name, combining it with the colloquial Arabic word for buttocks.’ 🔥

small global war size of a large regional war

*jews in the diaspora get shot* “antizionist”: they deserved it because they might have been pro-israel israel: fuck those godforsaken yiddish **** ****** **************** ****

They are putting all kinds of nonsense on the airways so that you don’t hear about how bad capitalism is Thought you outta hear it from an account whose face you recognise and trust

SCP-69-420-69