For example there's been a hamburger-sized blood stain underneath the buttons of ICU elevator 1 for a week now

You ever wonder why people in hospitals often get these antibiotic resistant infections? Well I've cracked the code: it's because some hospitals just don't get cleaned very well.

Today I watched an Alaskan red squirrel tunnel through the fresh snow on the neighbor's porch. Alaskan squirrels are smaller and cuter than American squirrels. I love them. One used to live in the ceiling of my garage, and she did so much damage but I didn't care at all

Everybody talking about how one day all of these people are going to get punished for doing bad stuff, allow me to remind you that child murderer George Zimmerman is living free and happy in Florida today

they all conspired to kill her

schedule II drugs include cocaine, crystal meth, opium, oxycontin and PCP. They're saying kratom is worse than those

Sorry to tell you this, but you cannot run on empty for very long. TAKE CARE OF YOUR DAMN SELF. Drink your water, move your body, take your supplements, get your rest. And yes, I am talking to Y O U. I love you, please take care. 🖤

I'm a cereal monogamist. I believe marriage is between one man and Aldi generic Kookie Krisp

It scares me sometimes how much I love baba ganouj. It's good but I'm insane for the stuff. Am I normal?

Everyone is mad after the apocalypse, they should have just called it Max.

I'm surprised how many people still believe America's problem is going to be solved through legal action

I'm such a wretched insomniac that any time I do get a big chunk of sleep, all at once, I experience it the way you experience finally fucking after a long dry spell. Like, I'll be sore from sleeping, and weirdly digging it, the next day. "Yeah, I had my leg bunched up in the blankets ALL NIGHT."

Check out my insta where I forget to take pictures of my plate until after I ate

Just yesterday I finally realized that yes, of course hibernate had to be an option in my computer somewhere and it just wasn't switched on, so I had to go find it in power settings and it was buried five menus deep like it was a shameful secret

There's a particular look of disgust that cats get when they see you eating something and then find out it's vegetables

arby's o speedwagon

What's a death cab anyway

My dad's cat Genghis loves his plush blanket, or anyway it makes him very horny

US Public television and radio will now have no oversight

I would like to emphasize that my mom has 21 live cats in her house

trump just announced cutting $10 Billion in funding for poor American kids

Here --from Bradley Morgan's "Frank Zappa's America" (2025)-- Zappa describes exactly what legacy media orgs like NYT, CNN, the Ellisons/Bari Weiss at CBS/Paramount, tech/social media companies, etc... are currently doing and ties it to the Reagan admin from 1989..

Brain injuries are not good for you

Fascist Dem Tracker

Me too! It was in a weird pocket of my suitcase

This post is now about Parker Malloy

MAGA is butthurt because Hilton Hotels have refused service to ICE. Why don't you sad fucks go eat some of that cake your bakers won't sell to LGBT people? Hopefully, they make it nice and salty.

I watched these crackers for maybe five minutes and they did, like, nothing

"They don't care" Madiba addressing the International Women's Forum in Johannesburg, 30 January 2003.

When in ‘dount, delete your ‘count

My mom has informed me that 60 Minutes is "totally different now," and that they don't plan to keep on watching. Wondering how many Boomers across America have come to that conclusion. Hopefully more of them than not

This is the plot of Radicalized by Cory Doctorow except an actual true story

This is the first murder in Brookline in 5 years, only the 3rd for at least 15 years. Statistically, this is what's known as an anomaly

Just read a great financial times article about how to safely burn furniture for warmth

You know how Venezuela is actually and clearly about oil? well so is Greenland. There's so much untapped oil there that it's seeping out of the ocean floor. Greenland isn't a red herring, he really does intend to take it

Next time you're drinking a nice big beaker of glycerol, be careful it doesn't have any borosilicate glass in it

If you accidentally make too much coffee, remember this coffee protip: drink it all go insane get diarrhea it doesn't matter

Americans are carefully trained to view every situation, not even conflicts, just every situation as a conflict between two more or less equal sides, one which is good and one which is evil. As an American I think this is good, otherwise we'd all be speaking Iraqi right now

tin-pot dictator = bad gold-toilet dictator = good

I'm so sick of seeing the Big Orange Turd every day. Probably should see a doctor or at least examine my diet.

Svengoolie. Iran is overthrowing it's theocracy and you're talking about Svengoolie

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

Journalist: Sen Schumer, are we at least going to hold these people accountable when there's a Democrat majority after the midterm elections?" Schumer: we're hoping to prevent that

Operation Latin Chevron

There is no angle low enough to make Rubio look tall, but e for effort

This article is super funny

always look for the helpers 💗