Strong Floor, No Ceiling is considerably worse than No Rules, Just Right. Can’t believe we’re gonna lose the messaging war to Outback Steakhouse.

“Have Grok do an epic vulgar roast” in a shitty South African accent is my new vocal stim, much to my wife’s dismay.

Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you’ve been to: Muse Ghost Tegan and Sara Metallica The Sword

Was not expecting this blatant xenophobia on my tv first thing in the morning...

Sometimes you just need to eat a chunk of a really good cheese ball.

My “We’re not Enron t-shirt” has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my t-shirt

A healthcare system where we hope someone wants our autograph

hey guys, just checking in real fast to let you know that my business practices are legally distinct from those of Enron

I now own Arc Raiders. Looking forward to dying and losing all my stuff.

♫ ♪ ♬ Keep it one hundred on the land, the sea, the stars, Mr. Belvedere once, sat on, his balls. ♫ ♪ ♬

Please stop spreading the odious rumor that Elon Musk hangs out normally or has friends.

It is November 21 and I have already lost Whamageddon for the year.

*Logs onto the internet* *Sees what looks to be the vice president lactating* *Logs off the internet*

Mail day! Some new (to me) Magic cards. And they were freeeeeeeee (which is especially wild given the mintiness of that Lightning Bolt from Unlimited).

When you've never been given administrator privileges at work despite being a program director for almost 6 years but you guess the password anyway.

My book Good Game No Rematch is now more than half-off with Amazon’s Black Friday sale! If you’re looking for the perfect gift for the video game fan in your life (and/or you have no idea what to get them) this silly book fits the bill quite nicely!

Happy to report this album still fucking rips.

Imagine being stupid enough to do this and still getting prosecuted. BY THIS ADMINISTRATION. OF ALL THE ADMINISTRATIONS.

Hey guys we need to raise your power bills again because the jackoff material factory needs more power to turn your mom and daughter’s pictures into pornography and we need you to pay for it

Found three Final Fantasy Magic packs in the wild. Didn't make my money back but I did pull some cool foil lands, a couple cards I wanted for some decks I'm cooking, and this lovely lady.

I love the Dropkick Murphys because "Irish-American" + "gen X" + "punk rocker who's been at it for 30 years" should be the formula for the most racist guy alive but instead Ken Casey is constantly giving interviews where he's like "fascists are demons from hell and that's where they belong"

The anti-woke game tourists on The Other Site are now going after Metroid, for some reason. We're about a day away from one of them unironically stating "Did you know Metroid is a WOMAN?!? WOKE NONSENSE!"

“Hi I’m Ben Shapiro and I’m a fucking moron”

how does this constitute giving money away if you in fact just gave it to yourself

i haven't noticed the cloudflare outage because i've only been visiting morally pure websites today

Nuzzi dot jpeg

Re-upping this for no reason! www.theguardian.com/games/2025/n...

Wife got boudoir photos done a few weeks ago and got them back today. Brothers and sisters when I say I do not deserve the life I live I mean it.

all of the absurdly talented writers whose careers have imploded through no fault of their own over the past decade plus of media consolidation and olivia nuzzi gets soft focus profiles for her memoir about fucking a fascist crank really makes the blood boil

i’d be more comfortable with the olivia nuzzi coverage if every story was headlined something like “seduced by a guy who eats roadkill: the story of an extremely stupid lady”

Trump Tuah. Is that a thing?

Help me I can’t quit building Magic decks.

You are infinitely closer to struggling than you ever will be to billionaires

Hi, professional psychologist here. Yes, it does. Thank you for your bizarre question, Megyn, I’m sure under different national circumstances the FBI would be in touch for some follow-up.

Pizzagate: If you replace the word “hot dog” with “little boy” and “pizza party” with “child sex orgy,” you will see the lengths these elites go to cover up their crimes. Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.

Reading the Epstein emails and realizing he went to the Kevin school of speaking.

tfw you start to see things after defeating a fuzzy spider at Byrgenwerth

Really wild how all these Harvard scientists and mathematics guys constantly talked about how Jeffrey Epstein was this brilliant, "misunderstood" man and then you read his emails and he's clearly a barely literate lecher, extremely easy to understand

probably something an innocent man would do

I love that we're reverting to oldey-time peasant bullshit and I also love getting yelled at about how oldey time peasants were actually quite sophisticated and enjoyed a high quality of life

Apparently the northern lights were visible here for all of 1 minute and somehow 90% of the people here saw it. But not me!

every single week they're throwing this guy a special oval office love-in that appears to be the presidential equivalent of letting your dog scarf an entire big mac and fries before that last trip to the vet

"Democratic Shutdown Hoax" is a weird way of saying GOP holding the country hostage b/c they want to syphon more money out of the government and make its citizens pay for it... Also, if it actually happened, and the ENTIRE PLANET saw it, that's not a "hoax."

agreeing to make a terrible deal while your main opponent is quite literally being boo'd on live tv by an entire stadium of people is the kind of political instinct you'd normally only find in a 3 week old dead goldfish

no amount of state propaganda will ever convince me this man is my enemy

Our oldest kid informed us today that “six seven” is no longer considered cool or funny at the middle school. We had to break it to her that it never was.