well, it finally happened, they hit the pentagon (someone made an ilya edit set to "the boxer" by simon & garfunkel)

A New Year's Toast from Patricia Highsmith (and me) 🥂🥂

Look, I'm sure that Nolan's adaptation of "The Odyssey" will be fun, but I highly doubt it will be as good as the original.

what's my most millennial trait, do u think? my aversion to low rise jeans? how I can't run an errand without getting an iced coffee? or is it how much I love The National??

the "I stubbed my toe 😠" ➡️ "I HeARD yOuR HEARtS DANCING!!!!😩👹👹🔪👹" pipeline

some significant part of this is just catch-all fear for “this is not the child I ordered” I think

had a nightmare that I made tini's mac and cheese for thanksgiving but I forgot to bloom the spices before I made the roux ❌😩

oh hell yeah 🔥

forgot the wifi password for my crude tunnel system

two wolves

i'm sure there's a joke to make about how ryan lizza's newsletter has the same name as infamous ex-youtuber james somerton's fake crowdfunded production company, but it's been 8 hours of brainstorming and at this point i've gotta admit that i'm not gonna be the one to make it

what line from the book do you most want to hear in the show and why is it "okay mr. lots of sex"

official member of the pocket spiral notebook defense squad!!!!! 😤😤 i like em. i think they're cute

me at the pinball bar 2nite

I stopped scrolling before bed and started playing wordle and connections instead, and I think it's actually making me angrier

cloudflare outages are a big turn-on for me

PORN IS ART, PORN IS GOOD, PEOPLE MAKING PORN IS A SIGN OF A HEALTHY SOCIETY

me and ur girl this holiday season

enough productivity for today 🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️. it's time to look up people i don't like to see if they've posted anything annoying recently

99% of memoirs should have been or remained essays. like what do you mean you're a 29-year-old brooklyn transplant and you wrote 70k words about your life. you better have been a war correspondent before you picked up that podcast mic. you better have been raised in a fundamentalist cult

currently self-flagellating by reading substack articles called "the over-consumption of girlhood" and "joan didion (and other writers you've probably never heard of)" and "the proliferation of degeneracy in contemporary romance: a leftist analysis"

[me, yesterday, watching the Arabic Zohran ad] dick cheney would die if he saw this

Long live Guilloteen Vogue

pumping my fist in the air like my team just scored

look at him. his bandana has skulls

ohhh noooOOooOO jira's down, what am i gonna doooOOooOOOoO

if i get a say in what people remember me for when i'm dead, may i suggest my preternatural tolerance for bad artificial grape flavoring. if it's purple and it says "grape" i will eat it and probably like it at least a little

my favorite thing that happens on social media is when people i follow on instagram are killing time at the airport and so they post a bunch of stories about being at the airport

For sale: baby shoes. So fuckin worn. This baby ran everywhere fast as shit

LLM AI exists to crush labour. That's not even my surmise, the people paying billions of dollars to fund this stuff are extremely open and explicit that this is their goal. There are no ethical use cases for LLMs at this point in time. Maybe when the bubble has popped thoroughly. Not before.

finally some cool news

hey sorry, can’t. busy.

i'm getting weirder, maybe open.substack.com/pub/pagemelt...

no judgment, no irony: if you're one of these people who's started using chatgpt for quasi-therapy, you should look into tarot reading. a friend gave me a great reading last week, and it felt like flossing

everybody loves to denigrate BookTok books but when a 19-year-old covered in cybersigiglism tattoos comes across my FYP holding up a paperback 9 times out of 10 it's East of Eden. I'm not joking. And if it's not that it's Lonesome Dove

having a paranoid delusion about everybody posting in a way that is designed to annoy me specifically

crashing out at Kroger because the security alarm has been screeching for several minutes and Blue Diamond apparently doesn't make their sweet Thai chili flavored almonds anymore

the cultural crisis is straightforward: there are no longer any formal consequences for blatantly anti-social behavior, and the rest of us are constantly just getting lectured that we have to put up with these assholes making our lives worse

my sources are telling me that caleb hammer—the personal finance podcaster who berates and humiliates his guests before recirculating their stories to a bloodthirsty audience on tiktok for clout—is a huge jerk, and i am shocked, shOCKEd, i tell u

this is really what it all boils down to, huh?

got the high score on the centipede machine at the arcade :) then messed up entering my name :(

tapping thee sign

📣 hi! i have an RSS feed now 📣 if you've never messed with RSS before, you've just got to: 1) pick an RSS reader (i like inoreader.com) 2) plug pagemelt.zone/rss.xml into your reader's "add feed" input 3) see updates from me 😇 4) see updates other people u like without an algo getting in the way