This Is Just To Say I have turned off the AI features that were in the update and which you were probably hoping to monetize Fuck you they were stupid so unnecessary and so annoying

"We accidentally made an animated graphic for Reform and then did a party political broadcast for them by mistake."

Nobody Absolutely nobody Roadrunner:

A majority would bin him tomorrow if they could agree on a replacement. But they can't so this all drags on...

It's going to be even worse the next time they appoint Peter Mandelson

i mean... i knew he was a shit and i was only 7 last time labour came to power. i did gain that knowledge by watching some of the deayton-era hignfy though

his father was a foolmaker

left-wing Labour members in 2020 trying to convince themselves to vote for him during the leadership election:

i'm not watching it because i can't be arsed, but how fucked is starmer?

Keir Starmer: I have changed the process so that the barn door must be closed before the horse has bolted

Love to see journalists likely knocking near six figure salaries mocking Brits with meagre savings for their aversion to investing in the stock market. A stock market that's been twice shanked in the last 12 months by a demented orange skinned fash. "yah, you idiots, why you love cash ISAs?"

"Bit stabby in the Senate today" - Brutus

This is simply not true. Labour didn’t have to go right. They *chose* to go right. The big majority was a chance to reset everything back to sanity. Starmer chose the mad, bigoted, ignorant and dishonest route instead.

she does give off reform energy tbf. as does geoff

was listening to a podcast earlier and the conversation briefly touched on opening lines to books and one of them said "the marleys were dead to begin with". which really made me laugh. muppet

the strait of hormuz needs to have regular, predictable open hours or frankly they are going to lose me as a customer

I’m sorry. What the fuck is that ad???

oh! they got this all screwed up!

Peter mandelsons entire career is like a cursed pharaohs amulet that kills everyone that tries to use its power and every other week some Labour party idiot picks up and goes have we tried using the pharaohs amulet

I fucking resent the idea that my life, as a disabled person, is considered a "cost", yet this bullshit is an "investment".

[foreign office 2025] CIVIL SERVANT: Prime Minister we have news on Mandelson's vetting, it turns out- STARMER: no don't tell me, I want it to be a surprise when the scandal comes out in 8 months' time CIVIL SERVANT: I really insis- STARMER: god forbid we have any MYSTERY in our lives any more

Exactly one year ago today:

Not once in the 80s, 90s or 00s do I recall a politician urging the public to embrace email, mobile phones, texting, two factor authentication, online banking, air fryers, or to replace all their cassette collection with a CD collection. So forgive me if I smell a rat.

trying to post through it rn

Zohran Mamdani said he's going to start taxing rich people who buy luxury housing in NYC but don't actually live in there, and the former CEO of Twitter/X called it "actually one of the scariest things I have ever seen."

no. that egg task is just mean #taskmaster

fuckwits

mamaged to lose my brother in liverpool cathedral. which, considering it's quite a big open space and he's quite tall, is an impressive feat

This remains undefeated:

I’ve given this a great deal of thought, trying to come up with the perfect joke for this moment, and this is what I have so far - POPE LEO: our religion teaches that this war is bad VANCE: wow, who died and made YOU head of the Catholic Church?? POPE LEO: well, you should know, you were there

There was no good way to organise this visit and nothing gained by sending him. A severe risk to national dignity, undertaken for no advantage whatsoever.

Someone likes gearboxes.

"My friend." This is how our government greets those accused of war crimes. This is not diplomacy. It's debasement.

went for a walk with my aunt earlier to see the bluebells. there were lots of bluebells. it was great

no one is doing it like jd vance, a loser across three continents in a single weekend

*very* funny

one immediate dramatic consequence of the Hungarian result: Magyar has promised to repair relations with the EU and unblock a €90bn EU loan for Ukraine

Really hope Vance turns up to campaign for Reform

All the worst cunts in the world - from journalism to politics, the Kermlin to the White House - are suffering tonight.

Tucker Carlson as a guest is a pathetic and despicable new low. Absolutely no excuse or explanation and the only beneficiary is him.

keep thinking about poor joel and his solo egg task that must have ruined every single other task he did #taskmaster

There's a metal band called Glyph that kicked out their lead singer when they found out he was beating his now ex-wife. That same ex-wife is now the lead singer of Glyph. I think a lot of men could learn from their example.

Rare image of a stork delivering a baby!

I'm sorry I said you weren't very scary.

Literally just this tweet lol

For those of us who never used all of our Bluesky invite codes before they went away, they should be turned into uninvite codes where we can delete accounts of our choice