Sad to see Nick falling prey to the virus of anti-Americanism, yet another liberal betrayal of the suffering people of wherever it is they’re bombing this week

Kemi’s speciality is generating headlines that are deeply weird for anyone who’s been offline for more than a couple of hours

This is a READ 😭

it's important, imo, to understand that our govt are not trying to do good things and failing. they're extremists doing *exactly* what they want to do. they just thought they would continue to get away with it as evidence, please accept this picture of starmer clearly shitting his pants

You're absolutely right—that was not a command post, that was an elementary school. Those were not military leaders—they were schoolchildren. I said the opposite, and that's on me.

Willing to accept that this could alienate potential followers who do not enjoy being pulverised into a coarse powder. But hoping that the change from "Chessington World of Piss" will result in a net gain from people who felt previously unable to engage, due to their hatred of piss.

Decided to change my name to "Super Large Excellent Cremulator"

a lot of people criticising kier starmer for his actions today - without mentioning his career as a tank commander. a job he did in his *jeans*, not a cowardly pair of camouflage trousers. please respect the troop.

critical support for the person finding new ways to keep this photo on the BBC front page

Today I’ve come out WITHOUT A COAT. This is it. It’s happening

Good morning. It is now the time of year (after Feb halfterm) when it is ACTUAL DAYLIGHT when the alarm goes off (7am). Preeeeeeeeetty pretty good.

wondering if calling myself "Chessington World of Piss (KC)" is adversely affecting my interactions on here. perhaps i am missing out on the friendship and camaraderie of people who do not enjoy piss-worlds

I’m sorry, I know it’s a minor point, but crack dens are traditionally indoor establishments. What the scaremongering Labour minister is describing here is a crack paddock.

An interlude here: this is the same journo’s 2017 story, which he based on a dossier of Facebook comments made by random members of the public that he was given by “Labour whistleblowers”. You might know these whistleblowers better as “Morgan McSweeney, Steve Reed and Labour Together”.

Everyone knows that a junior dickhead compiling a dumb dossier on the man who wrote this insulting drivel is *exactly the same thing*, but one of these stories makes the press look like virtuous victims while the other exposes them as a blight upon the species. Naturally they go with the former.

“It’s an unbelievable disaster and also none of us were ever wrong, about anything” really has been the smash hit of the 21st century. Join in at the chorus.

just found this screenie i took in 2018, when i was replying to top-tier dumbass Dan Hodges, who tweeted something about nuclear bombs being useful for "a rescue operation". very much the kind of thing where my wife would ask "are you making yourself laugh again?" and yes.. yes i was.

It brings me great amounts of joy to announce that Labour voters are going to need to vote tactically and get behind the clear left front runner if they want to keep out Reform

If I was part of a cynical political initiative that had strained every sinew to smash my own party into the wall & throw an election to ensure the Labour Party remained in the grip of a racrionary network of people whose sole purpose was to maintain their grip on "our systems", I'd stfu frankly

i'm gonna start calling oat milk "weak porridge" in an attempt to escape the clutches of the fuzz

I love sending exactly three WhatsApp messages to my longtime political mentor Peter Mandelson

Actually this is a bit unfair. I know (and tried to dissuade) several well-intentioned left-wing labour ppl who believed the barefaced lies Starmer used to get elected as Labour leader. They were naive but not stupid. For someone in Ian's position, this kind of repeated naivety IS just stupidity.

Starmer looked like exactly the man for the job! Who could possibly have known that he wasn't actually going to improve things? He said he'd be great! And *checks notes* Ian Dunt said he'd be great! But "for whatever reason" this was somehow wrong?!? It's just so confusing. Maybe Ian Dunt can help.

And, IMO most importantly, this is what your “sensible, centrist, moderate” politicians and commentators all agree is grown-up, realistic politics. The only opposition to this comes from people we’re told are extreme, naive, useless and quite possibly stinky, violent, antisemitic and dangerous.

Once again the people who were paying attention to these guys have been cursed with being entirely correct too early, which is apparently even worse than being wrong.

Good day to everyone except people who leave these bogroll dispensers with it all rolled up inside so you have to spend 2 minutes rotating it and searching for the free end

lol www.thenational.scot/news/2583451...

Show me something more perfect. You can’t x

It’s both interesting & funny that Mandelson was a figurehead of the FBPE movement that believed Russia secretly Did Brexit, while himself secretly brokering access to Russian ministers on behalf of e.g. Uber. Did our feral free press dwell on this angle at the time? Not so far as I’m aware!

This is like Sooty saying he shouldn’t have hired Matthew www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

this mandelson guy really can't catch a break

When we're finally talking about an evidence-based drugs policy, I always pour one out for Prof David Nutt, who was sacked as a government health advisor in 2009 for stating simply that drug policy and public health outcomes bear no relation to one another. Correct 17 years too soon.

Union workers solved the trolley problem, you're welcome

RFK Jr. Demonstrates How To Remove Tapeworm By Scooting Ass Across Carpet https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-demonstrates-how-to-remove-tapeworm-by-scooting-ass-across-carpet/

This photo just came up in my memories. I made an auxiliary lap from an old pair of jeans for when my real lap was unavailable, and it actually worked 😀

Democrats Condemn ICE For Murdering Without Proper Warrants https://theonion.com/democrats-condemn-ice-for-murdering-without-proper-warrants/

just incredible. reading this, it's hard not to conclude that: a) we are governed by a parade of stupendous dumbasses and b) they think we're even stupider than they are

e.g. here's a video from 2024 of Ian Dunt smugly dismissing the use of the word "genocide" to describe what is now widely accepted as a genocide i personally need ppl like this to address how/why they covered for obvious war crimes before i'm interested in their Very Clever Thoughts on other stuff

It's great if they NOW agree there's a genocide in Gaza and a fascist in the Whitehouse. But a lot of us are quite interested in why nobody "important" was able to understand these plainly obvious facts previously. Maybe if they addressed the reasons for these mistakes, they'd make fewer in future?

Thanks for the helpful auto-complete, Gmail.

Mafia goon: Nice house you got here...it'd be a shame if something happened to it Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it

Everything reminds me of him...

Can we ban wifi for everyone over the age of 16? You can still use the internet whenever you like, as long as you're sat down at the Internet Computer

🕯️My cousin Brian passed away last night. After a courageous 3 wk stint with ICE. He slipped on a fellow agent’s frozen peepee puddle & somersaulted many times in the air, yelling “yabbada yabbada yabbada” & tragically aspirating (a different) agent’s pee he’d been gargling. He hated women🇺🇸💔

i would like all good, well-meaning left / centrist / liberal / whatever types to have a think about the last few years and when was the last time you rolled your eyes cos some "hard lefty" warned about rising fascism. it's obvious to everyone at this point but please, for all our sakes, remember.

And tbf to the guy, it must be pretty hard to have "PolProf" in your handle and "Emetius Prof" and "Knows stuff about politics & culture" in your profile ... and just be consistently made to look like a know-nothing chump by a load of accounts called stuff like "Horse Piss Extravaganza"