Naano-technology

Robbie Savage is absolutely livid and I have to say INJECT IT IN KY EYEBALLS

THIS IS A FUCKING STUPID GAME

This is so good

Orbinho here, not so much tempting fate as punching it in the face and saying, "do you fucking want some?"

Starmer has lost Catherine West, but results are still being counted in Catherine East and Catherine Central

Just in time... what a coincidence.

The bags and drone of my bagpipes keep going missing. I've got the Chantavirus

funniest thing i’ve ever seen

Blowing up the death star was stupid. They should have nicked it

Just like that. But an actual goal

I would like Arsenal to score more goals

This is a hard thing for a former leader to say, I’m glad Caroline said it, and some of those responding need to have a word with themselves

Look if you've got a better way to run a country than "putting an illiterate octogenarian bigot on TV every few days to free associate and complain, and then everyone tries to figure out if it means we're about to start a war or not" I'd love to hear it. But the constitution says this is it.

One thing that’s striking is just how pathetically fragile the whole racket has turned out to be. The most ineffectual sex tape scandal ever. Szijjarto running straight to the shredder. Orbán just…quitting. Rod Dreher hightailing it to whichever country will give him €10000 a month next.

Everton get 3 goals off an xg of 2.77 and City get 3 off an xg of 1.37

Couple about to sign divorce papers… WOMAN: I wish I'd never joined that Star Wars dating app MAN: You were looking for love in Alderaan places WOMAN: And I wish I'd never married a guy addicted to Star Wars puns MAN: It was a wookie mistake WOMAN: Just sign it MAN, SIGNING: May divorce be with you

As I noted here, Russian defectors agreed. The Russian security services must be destroyed. time.com/6281663/russ...

A device you attach to your underwear reveals how often you really break wind – and it’s probably more frequently than you think... It might be useful for spotting undiagnosed gut-related conditions. 🧪 www.newscientist.com/article/2525...

Chaminda is of course correct

Mikel Arteta has finally got his tactics right (Bukayo Saka playing soccer instead of being injured)

‘You’re not one of us, are you?’: How a Ukrainian soldier survived two weeks in a Russian dugout

Worth reading this whole thread. 🧵

A really good interview with Tim about what we plan for this thing to be.

Thats some turn from Saka there. You absolutely knew it was coming, nothing the defender could do. On his arse, pass goal

Top 15 TV shows without thinking 1. The Wire 2. Our Friends in the North 3. Band of Brothers 4. Star Trek TNG 5. X-files 6. Breaking Bad 7. Sherlock 8. Elementary 9. Slow Horses 10. Battlestar Galactica 11. Good Place 12. Lost 13. 24 14. Hawaii 5-0 15. Dexter

All the world’s problems are solved when it’s a wonderful Blind Date! www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

www.maptap.gg May 2 97🔥 96🔥 96🔥 91👑 79✨ Final score: 895 Fuck the Marshall Islands

Honestly, if you showed this to someone in 2010 and said "This is the President of the United States", they'd tell you to stop pulling their leg.

fucking hell 😬😬

This is good on why insurgent parties experiencing rapid growth become magnets for cranks and also lack the buffering layer of veterans and stalwarts that might stop the maniacs becoming candidates

And now for horror...

I see John Terry's getting more left-wing as he gets older.

It honestly makes me feel pride in this country that a complete freshie can lead the oldest and most successful party in the country.

www.maptap.gg April 30 95🏅 97🔥 93🏆 99🎯 100🎯 Final score: 975

LOL

Because Zelensky, Stole ALL Trumps CARDS........

Is this not deeply weird? This image is the sort of thing I'd use AI to generate when trolling an American friend about their silly little freedom from tyranny holidays.

Iranian defies odds to defeat Trump.

Point Break

Learned from my 101-year-old grandfather that one problem of being a centenarian is that airlines apparently only have a 2-digit age variable, meaning that every time he shows up at the airport, the data in the system at the check-in counter thinks he's a 1-year-old unaccompanied child.

Saucisson and fromage import export

See you all at the Correspondents’ Dinner!

Start your Friday with this happy little thread

This is an incredible tweet.

Why is the karaoke machine lady on my radio talking about civil service ethics again?

Priceless post from the official White House social media