I have to go outside. I'm going a little crazy.

ANOTHER RED WARNING TOMORROW?

Me flirting.

Technically, they’re Remains now.

Everyone else: The country is at a standstill. Schools are closing, rail lines are disrupted. The vulnerable are at risk. The climate emergency is here. Church marketing departments (I.e. in most cases the vicar on Facebook): HAVE YOU CONSIDERED COMING TO OUR COOL STONE BUILDING?

spiritually Anthony Gordon looks like a squirrel who's an 18th century rake

Just went for a Calippo run. STRAWBERRY FLAVOUR???!

"Purchases from a high-end cookware brand were among the red flags which alerted police to Peter Murrell’s long-running embezzlement of the SNP’s funds." [runs in panting] INSPECTOR LE CREUSET

Immensely pleased that the cast of Showstopper performed my suggestion Cheesus Christ Superstar in tonight's show about an artisanal cheese competition.

BBC News all day:

ah, i see i went out for a few minutes and the media fully lost its mind

Happy "we're going to keep making exactly the same mistakes but with a slightly different face" day to the UK gvt again

He could have waited till tomorrow for the 10th anniversary of the Brexit referendum. Just for the lols.

Oh boy, we're just hurtling into this week then?

Outstanding show. Jinkx was a marvel.

That’s a good fuckin’ door.

Spiderman got on my bus just now.

The chunks of blue paint peeling off the bottom of the pool is too much. I can’t. How is this real?

Oooh boy... #CANQAT

This is a game and a half. #CANQAT

My pain level is a proper 9-10 today which is SO MUCH FUN.

Emma Hayes, please use your chalkboard to tell me what I'm doing wrong with my life

Am I having a mini-stroke or has ITV really put the only woman on the commentating team in a kitchen? 😬

Thank you to the idiot who attempted to attack the guard on our train. I'm later home and I've missed two more goals.

There’s an epidemic of ChatGPT church flyers that all have the same general aesthetic and it’s bizarre. Was Canva really too hard?

The hydration breaks are getting booed now and I love it.

A discussion about the social media ban on under 16s. BBC: “You’re gong to have a lot more time to fill. What will you do?” Student: “Stare at a wall.”

HYDRATION BREAK.

Vicar used a scene from the Full Monty in his wedding sermon, prefaced with "now I know this is an *old* film"

That was....so gay.

As seat upgrades go, this ain't bad.

Birthday cake from church, who were unaware that I was off to see Rufus Does Judy later....

Of course the prime minister is posting on X about how bad the riot organised on X is. Fucking of course he is. An expression of complete subservience to the men in Silicon Valley and the White House who have instigated this moment.

people can be so much fun

It's been a tough day but enormously cheered by this Reddit thread of a guy demanding Tesco treat bananas as berries for the purpose of getting extra club card points. www.reddit.com/r/LegalAdvic...

The combination of the Peter Murrell reporting and the reading at morning prayer (Luke 12:13-21) has left me with a mental image of the rich man in the parable not just contemplating building bigger barns, but also planning to enlarge his LeCruset collection…

Happy 6th anniversary to this, the finest poetry we have ever seen. At least we think it’s a poem.

Yes I would recommend buying a mattress...

Nothing says “fun basketball atmosphere” like prison walls

Bisexual lighting is just a constant refusal to use the Big Light.

The mid season finale of #Rivals was absolutely wonderful. The big kitchen scene between Monica and Lizzie had me in tears. Super classy writing, super classy performances.

Just watched the latest episode of #Rivals. Give Claire Rushbrook all the awards. That's all.

That kitchen table scene in #Rivals s2e6 between Claire Rushbrook and Katherine Parkinson was devastatingly beautiful.

It's going really great!!

Did she send a consonant or vowel?

Cheers. Here's to 41....

“I’ve never been more creeped out in my life”, said the poltergeist.

My Neighbor Totoro on stage was MAGICAL.

Voted for Puffiny McPuffinFace.

A Tory peer has just told Today that "We need to get back to a form of policing that is more colour-blind". When was that, precisely? The idea that we *used* to live in a colour-blind society, until minorities got special privileges, goes against *everything* we know of the history of policing.