Receiving reports that Minneapolis democrats are leaving delicious pies on their window sills and when ICE agents float to the window smelling the pie, they get whacked on the head with a big hammer.

Minneapolis ANTIFA is leaving banana peels on the road so that ICE vans drive over them and start spinning in circles.

Rioters are serving delicious hot dogs to ICE officers, but when they bite into it the wiener is actually dynamite and it blows up and leaves soot all over their faces.

imagine being outwitted by *checks notes* Kemi Badenoch

Brilliant. No notes.

There's a creature crying in the roof of the parish office. It's making work quite hard.

she’s furious he was going before her

this is a mood

My week in Spotify shuffle: Tis Pity She's a Whore by Bowie straight into Celine Dion (I may have gone to see Titanique last week)

This series of #TheTraitors has been a joy because we’ve enjoyed watching smart people staying quiet, smart people sneaking, and smart people imploding like nuclear reactors — it’s really fun watching so many tactical approaches, all of which have their flaws

Why are there two scrolls by Harriet? #Uncloaked

HOW HAD THEY NOT RUN THROUGH RACHEL'S QUESTION? #TheTraitors

Mummy I'm scared. #TheTraitors

Matthew: [unexpected knicker-dampening move from nowhere] Harriet: [THE NATION'S KNICKERS ARE ABRUPTLY DRENCHED] #thetraitors

HARRIET DID NOT COME TO PLAY. #TheTraitors

cinema. #TheTraitors

The woman was too stunned to speak. #theTraitors #Traitors #TraitorsUK

THIS WAS UNDER-APPRECIATED.

Oliver was incredible. Simon Lipkin was outstanding. Saw him 20 years ago in Avenue Q and it felt quite special to see him do such a wonderful Fagin.

Night at the theatre tonight. Looking forward to Lionel Bart's classic offal-based musical O Liver!

Grok is such a stupid name anyway.

Kemi, this is just a population density map

Struggling today with doing the things. Not even enjoying my book which I've been unable to put down until today.

[sombrely, with tears in eyes] "truly the people of Iran embody the great spirit of Flumpo The Fart Wizard" - author of Flumpo The Fart Wizard

They have activated the #ChurchMoms

Tonight I was waiting to meet my friend here and I just had one of those over-aweing "fuck I actually live in a place people dream about".

Last night's #TheTraitors cliffhanger for those who missed it.

If passengers abandon the titanic because an iceberg split it in half, the iceberg wins. So I'm staying

Finding out Mallett is a clergy child answers SO many questions.

Timmy Mallet is making marmalade over on Tiktok live. What a world we live in.

Every episode of Alan and Amanda’s show is them getting shitfaced followed by… “The workmen have been working hard plastering the walls.”

WHY. WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT? #TheTraitors

The first mercy-killing

I love this show with all my heart #TheTraitors

God there really was a hankering for the 70s in 1999... #totp

I remember Chris Moyles singing "Walk Like Your Pants Are Too Tight". Oh how we laughed. #totp

Bold of Canva to go with the advertising strapline of "why even bother taking pride in your own creativity anyway?"

me about fandoms an hour ago: don’t stan anything. how do you think things got so bad me when I hear the new Amy Grant song: SEE WHAT MY QUEEN HAS DONE FOR US. DID I NOT TELL YOU SHE REIGNS. GROVEL YOU INSOLENT WORMS

Musk concluding that the problem with the grok situation is that he’s not getting paid is just so on the nose.

Amongst everything else, I'm thinking about how eager the UK press were initially to swallow the Met's lie that Jean Charles de Menezes was a terrorist after they executed him in a tube station

Just saw the hashtag MakeJonathanRossFamous

People who believe there should be no jokes or joy during times of grief or anger are fascinating to me. Perhaps especially then, there must and shall be space for respite. In the dark times, will there be singing?

I realise that my feed is seesawing between a silly reality show and the most heinous real life events but it's all I can do to cope right now.

I just realized that the Disney-Star Wars series ANDOR is an instructional video.

Ed Gamble looks how I feel. #TheTraitors

WE NOW CROSS LIVE TO THE TURRET #TheTraitors

Stephen has just become the face of, “I do not fucking believe what’s happening!!!” #TheTraitors

WTF IS HAPPENING? #TheTraitors

Is it me or did Reece not even TRY to defend himself? #TheTraitors