This is the topical Boxing Day quiz you need.

If a Test finishes early, the players should not get golf or a booze cruise, they should have to play an ODI or T20I on every lost day of play.

Went to bed with Australia three down. That was far too much optimism for one month wasn’t it

Getting Head before midnight is it

I recommend darts professional Stephen Bunting’s Christmas message on social media if you want to see something funny and nice.

Painfully stupid 1973 Two Ronnies special on BBC Four in a minute, I adore it.

@seatrout.bsky.social I suppose this might count as a win for the Church press office, although I’m not certain. metro.co.uk/2025/12/23/m...

"Yeah, I like musicals" The musical -

Victoria Wood’s authorised biography reveals that on Christmas Day she would make her friends and family watch Fanny Cradock Cooks for Christmas (available on iPlayer) and this, the best thing ever shown on ITV: youtu.be/AVt9AqE0toY?...

In Sutho, I walked past the currently-closed shop of Ahmed who ran towards one of the Bondi gunmen, disarmed him, got shot himself and saved others, especially the Jewish community being targeted in the nearby park. There are flowers, messages of goodwill and pictures drawn by children. A thread…

Oh

“I gather he was as drunk as a lord, so after a discreet interval they’ll probably make him one” #yesminister

Mrs M’s granny was Chris Rea’s schoolteacher in Middlesbrough in the 60s.

Who’s going to crack an egg into Bob Mortimer’s bath now? RIP Chris Rea.

Spooner's career as a continuity announcer was short-lived

When England won the 2010/11 Ashes I can remember (but annoyingly can’t find) a condescending UK broadsheet op-ed whose author said he felt a bit sorry for the Aussies because “beating England is all they’ve got” as a country.

I also thought this, immediately

ProTEct truSTed LocAL nEWS This isn't even designed to wind people up and hope they share it. It's just an exploitation of Birmingham Live's privileged position on Google Discover/Apple News. The whole point is to deceive people into clicking. An industry built on total contempt for its audience.

Ashes GORN

I heard there was a secret meat With paprika, and spicy heat But you don't really care for sausage Nduja ...sorry, I can delete this. I've just seen a few posts in this format and I wanted in.

A mate saw on Facebook that (famous person) was dead. Cited a family member. This worried me enough to get a reporter to call (famous person’s employer). Turned out to be complete nonsense. #hellonewsdesk

Getting up at 5am for work so can hardly wait for the bleary eyed despair as my eyes adjust to the BBC Sport app’s wicket alerts.

Fans of hoary old Scottish tabloid headlines should check out the half time score at Dumbarton v Inverness Caledonian Thistle.

Fantastic detail from the PA court coverage of Lib Dem peer Lord Razzall getting his second driving ban of the year.

Christmas specials I always watch: A Christmassy Ted; Merry Christmas, Mr Bean; One Foot in the Algarve; Party Games.

Is it because you write about it in the Daily Mail? Oh - it actually is.

He's not, because the processing of Santa Claus's own "naughty or nice" data is necessary for the performance of a task carried out by Santa as a competent authority. (DPA 2018 s35(2))

You boy! What’s the latest on the talks with the British Medical Association!

Police press release of the month if not the year. www.merseyside.police.uk/news/merseys...

*taps mic* You can’t get married “secretly” or “privately”. The law says you literally have to pre-announce it and let anyone in who turns up. What you mean is, “without telling any journalists they were doing it first”

Noel Coward’s “Twentieth Century Blues” youtu.be/G42C2VWP2vM?...

Season’s greetings from Ian

Oh dear, I never thought I would again support a football club that banned journalists for reporting stuff #bhafc www.theguardian.com/football/202...?

"Angry Ginge"? What's an "Angry Ginge"?

Nothing like a bit of Rutter at Christmas time #bhafc

There was once a dancer named Gloria, who made love to Sir Gerald DuMaurier, Jack Hilton, Jack Payne, Jack Hilton again, And the band of Brixton Astoria

This is fine! www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Broke: Activists attack Crown Jewels with apple crumble Woke: Four people taken into custardy Bespoke: It’s a crime anglaise www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article...

Croatia! The Adrian Chiles derby.

It’s events like this that make you hanker for Graham Kelly.

Email from the British Library at 4.45 PM: “We’re excited to share our new main catalogue, making it easier for you to find and request the majority of our published collection” Follow up at 5.52: “We're very sorry, the email you just received was sent too soon – our catalogue is not yet live.”

JOE ROOT

Shout out to @afp.com for use of the phrase "the palm-fringed microstate" in a news story today

Read it first on obr.uk/documents/2025/chair_resignation.pdf

Maybe there should be an Office of Office of Budget Responsibility Responsibility.

Because I’m not busy enough today this chord progression is Bm diminished/A6.

Ah, a proper radio legend. I enjoyed his 5Live shows in the 1990s. RIP.

Perfect Tom Stoppard story from DTel obituary: His response to a letter from Harold Pinter canvassing support for a proposal to have the Comedy Theatre in London rechristened the Pinter Theatre, “Have you thought, instead, of changing your name to Harold Comedy?”

Playwright and cricket fan Tom Stoppard, who has died aged 88, wrote a famous speech in praise of the cricket bat in his play The Real Thing (1982), using the skilful creation of a bat as a metaphor for the writing of plays. #TomStoppard