“Sir we’ve lost r/massivecock”

someone in a nail polish subreddit created a shade that matches the one in this photo and is selling it on etsy so she can afford to buy her boyfriend a bulletproof vest to wear while doing ICE watch at home depot. we live in hell but we are going to fucking win.

May I interrupt the horrors to show you pictures of my sister's chickens in cowboy hats

Dydd Santes Dwynwen Hapus/Happy St Dwynwen’s Day!

Do you seem to have one shitty respiratory illness after another at the moment? Here's a snapshot of what's going on: www.gov.uk/government/s....

This dish was a couple of pounds in a charity shop last year. Today, I’m making the recipe printed on it (minus the kidney) for the first time.

okay hear me out

That’s Anton du Beke as the Arctic Fox. #Maskedsinger

I’ve been out for a succulent Chinese meal.

Europeans after managing to prevent the collapse of NATO for another 1-2 weeks… #Europe #Rutte

It's the trip I've always dreamed of!

Deliveroo gave me £12 credit, so I’ve blown it on cat litter and Dreamies.

Living in Rome itself under Caligula must have been fucking terrifying, but at least people living in the most distant provinces of the empire didn't get minute-by-minute updates on exactly how insane, unpredictable and evil he was being.

Is this not Sean Penn in One Battle After Another

Thinking of buying Mat some mirrored Aviators.

Everyone else sounds so metal and then he comes in like the fucking Swedish Chef lol

Clive just said “slagged off” on the news. Amazing.

Now THAT’S an award worth having.

Update from Channel 4:

When you’ve overdone it at the Davos Welcome Drinks and stayed up chatting in Germany’s hotel room until 6am.

The main thing i learnt from my time working in A&E is that if you suspect something is"broken" the answer is not to bring in a senile, emotionally fragile, American sex offender to start smashing it with a clawhammer.

Fairly sure it’s unintentional, but the end date on this mug being sold by the Smithsonian does make it sound a little like they’re saying America dies in 2026…

I am a serious, thoughtful person, with a profound interest in the geopolitical…ooh Brooklyn Beckham’s kicked off.

An hilarious colleague has started working with me on a Monday. It’s a bloody good way to start the week.

"l no longer feel an obligation to think purely of Peace"

idk if this is real or not but I need to believe that it is

y'all ever love someone despite how they load a dishwasher

COW TOOLS COW TOOLS COW TOOLS

You can’t beat a bit of choral singing in a lovely, cold church. There were 3 other altos, all wearing big coats and woolly hats. They were shocked that I coped with a bare head and a cardigan.

More like AHRRRRchbishop, mateys.

I’m going to attempt a one pot chicken and pasta recipe later.

Needs yakety sax

A joke so good, he made it THRICE.

you too can look like a bog man who was pulled out of a bog and left to dry and then put back in a different, shittier bog

It was a very good afternoon. I also ended up joining a local Chamber choir.

I was lucky enough to get a ticket to hear the talk about the Margam Roman villa this afternoon, by Dr Alex Langlands from Swansea University. Margam Abbey was packed.

Howling 😂

A lot of people don't know that Nobel laureates get two medals. A real gold one usually kept in a safe deposit box and a gold plated duplicate for public display. She gave him the dupe

Me: Blondie was my age in this Mat: He said 53 (I am 54)

Should have gone before they came on #totp

To the TOTP crowd

Is my wifi glitching? #TOTP

When you’ve got #TOTP at seven and a stint as square-leg umpire at eight

Double Theakston tho. #TotP

The Saturday Night Fever Soundtrack is in my top 5 albums and should NOT be fucked with. #TOTP

There are a few people I hated in the 90s that I like now. Heather Small is one of them.

Just referred to 1999 as during my “childhood” and Mat choked on his wine.

This did not exist in whatever year this is. Prove me wrong. Without going to CERN for a tinker. #totp

I have no recollection of this. #TOTP