defend Ballet Shrimp at any cost

Sorry, tell me which part of this Green Party manifesto you actually disagree with

First job of the day #DogsAtPollingStations

Thanks printer, that cheered me up

Look at this good boy having his picture taken for #DogsAtPollingStations

The day has finally arrived. You can now *officially* watch puffins live from the Farne Islands, 24 hours a day: bit.ly/4tRz72T Please enjoy these puffins kissing in celebration of this momentous event.

sometimes i see a crypto hacker where i'm like "you know what they kinda earned that one"

Would use 👍

Jo Whiley just played this. I like it a lot. youtube.com/watch?v=TkTR...

I posted the lovely baby hippo to my professional account. Setting out my stall appropriately.

Radiohead's less popular follow-up album

Meet Bumpy! This enchanting little chap was rescued over the weekend. This was Bumpy's first night with us, snuggled next to Keeper Simon. Simon put his mattress on the ground and the tiny hippo nestled by his side, swaddled in his cherry blanket.

I’m setting up a new, professional account, so I’d be very grateful if you’d follow back if you see my face following you from a new account. It’s a black and white photo and I’m wearing glasses, obviously, to give the illusion of seriousness.

Thank you so much for the RTs/orders. I’ll leave the offer on until the end of the week. Thank you!

yeah all right I love a Mugler

Is it though?

As a GP, I am not allowed to receive a pen or post-it note pad from a pharmaceutical company rep Govt banned them in case I was influenced to prescribe medications This should also be banned Influence is being bought in Govt Patients should influence not the healthy & wealthy

This must have been the school tour he did.

He came to my Aunt’s school and she got me his autograph on a Green Cross Code Man photo. I lost it, obviously.

Marjorie Taylor Greene says she reported the threats to her family to a number of people in the Trump Administration: I did hear from Kash Patel. He said, ‘on it,’ but I haven’t heard from him since. I don’t know what he’s on *laughter from crowd*

Exceptional bank holiday tv starting on ITV3+1 now. Classic Inspector Morse with a very young Sean Bean.

Happy Anniversary to my life’s work x

Isn’t it great when you to forget to order your repeat prescription just before a bank holiday weekend? 🤪

Is anyone else reminded of V?

We have an *extremely* important announcement to make. From Wednesday, we will be launching our puffin live cam, coming to you from the Farne Islands. So you can watch puffins all day long. In celebration, please enjoy this clip of puffins being really busy for 39 seconds straight.

Was Meek an SNL sketch? She seems to be a parody of Lola Young and Self Esteem with Marina’s vocals.

There’s no specific date for this one, but *during* May 1961 Italian artist Piero Manzoni shat in some tins, so I think we can all agree that – precise or otherwise – this is a 65th anniversary that simply cannot go unmarked 🧵

Hang on a minute

For some reason I waited until now to watch Homeland. I’m approaching the end of series 3.

That fruit and veg sign he's holding is as big as Bradford. His aim is to cause atrocities. Juicy atrocities.

Had a dream last night where there was a new series of Blackadder with Blackadder as the UK Ambassador to America, and now feel this needs to be made.

I had a chat with someone who’s a couple of weeks older than me and retiring from the NHS at 55 in October. She has Mental Health Officer status, so gets her full pension at 55. I started clinical work in the NHS 5 years too late to get that status. I have to work until 67 to get my full pension.

15 years ago today, Kate and William killed Osama Bin Laden at their wedding.

We have a wild hedgehog who lives in our garden and is friends with our cat (this isn’t their first meeting, they know each other well)

I expect this'll get some mileage

Happy 13th anniversary to that terrible misunderstanding at a WI meeting.

WE'RE FUCKING EATING GOOD GUYS, THIS LINE UP IS DELICIOUS

My boyfriend in 1991 had blonde hair with a long fringe in the curtains style. Children used to think he was Chesney Hawkes. #TOTP

This is a corker of an episode. I bloody loved Blur (and still do) more than I bloody loved Electronic. #TOTP

I bloody loved Electronic. #TOTP

I’ve just been reminded that there was a brief period in the late 90s when I considered piercing my belly button.

“Forgive me, I’m a terrible flort” “Don’t you mean flirt?” *starts florting* “OMFG. WTF is that?!”

This is genuinely staggering. Someone explains they’re just living their life, family, comfort, normality. Murphy’s response is to lecture them that their basic rights are a “negotiation” they’re failing at? What a patronising prick, human rights are inherent! Cruel, inhumane & indefensible!

How informed are Reform UK's new hopefuls about their own party? Chris Atkins set up a fake channel, 'Patriot News UK,' and engaged in some mild subterfuge to find out.

Women will swear they aren’t red-tailed hawks and then text “bring voles” at 3:00AM

The 6 biggest questions about adult ADHD, answered by a neuroscientist www.sciencefocus.com... Dr Dean Burnett tackles some of the more common questions (and misunderstandings) of ADHD in later life, and other neurodivergent matters. #ND #ADHD #Diagnosis

F wanted pizza for his birthday tea. I managed to fuck up the order and cried when only 3 pizzas arrived instead of 4. I may be slightly stressed this week.