My Autumn 2025 black opaque tights arrived today. Let the season begin.

Opera and the M&S Food Hall.

There are at least 20 people I follow who would handle the Government’s communication strategy better than the people paid to do it. And that includes Larry the Cat.

If we're just vibing off a complete lack of evidence now then you'll all be happier and live without ailments if you just send me all of your wages every month

I’m surprised that Kimmel didn’t tell them to get fucked.

I had to work for a few hours, so now I’m wide awake. Bollocks.

Is anyone else watching Black Rabbit? I have one episode left.

Alien: Earth (N. Hawley and others, 2025)

Ade is always able to help with the science questions.

Good morning.

After all that excitement, I’m off to have something to eat and watch The Long Walk.

Thank you, @penk, you’ve saved me from any pork pie identification embarrassment

Am I going to have to rename my painting?

That’s a Melton Mowbray pork pie, amiright?

Waiting for the pork pie painting to be handed over in a car park.

That's how I wanna go

Do you think these defectors to Reform are having their palms crossed with gold?

Bought a Starbar as a Friday treat.

That RT has reminded me of the time we did a charity kayak around the Norfolk Broads. We had a selection of canoes and kayaks and rowed up to the tourist boats. We’d use a fishing net to collect donations. One boat put a few beers in for us 👍

This may seem cute but if you do this too much the cyclists may become reliant on cars feeding them, disrupting the delicate roadway ecosystem

Some of you may remember that my signature dish is a pork pie platter. Imagine my excitement when I found a still life painting for sale with a pork pie front and centre.

Oh dear, never mind.

It’s strange having lunch this late. My morning visit took about 2 hours longer than I expected.

Lexicographer @susiedent.com is our latest Brief Encounter: “As the philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein put it so beautifully, ‘The limits of my language are the limits of my world.’” Read Dent’s full Q&A: www.prospectmagazine...

I’ve made an executive decision that I don’t want to drive over Maerdy Mountain today.

I’ve been making a big effort to eat more fibre, with predictably hilarious consequences.

Calling peoples' employers in a rage because their tributes to Robert Redford weren't horny enough

Good news! 1. I remembered that I bought a lovely new rain coat last year. 2. I found it.

A gold star to whoever is doing Channel 4's social media today:

As of this afternoon I have some extra letters after my name, ADHD. I should have been given my diagnosis months ago, apparently. At least I have it now.

A horse can gallop just a few hours after it's born. It would be cool if humans developed that quickly. A baby pops out and three hours later it’s texting

Love that the hardest cop of the 70s looked like an 80s comprehensive school Geography teacher hungover from a CAMRA beer fest at the weekend

The rain is torrential and the sky is dark grey, so there’s only one film to watch.

The Nuns on the Run story needs to be rolling all day. I want live nun tracking. Drone footage. Background on each nun. Nun memes. Nun merch. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

We came back from our holiday last week and my next pay day is Sep 21st. OF COURSE my car’s brakes started squealing yesterday and needed £270 of repairs.

I also do this for cheese

Fuck, I didn’t get a code to let me buy Radiohead tickets.

On time and on budget? Whaaat? Make this man prime minister immediately www.ft.com/content/639a...

This is a masterclass in narrative tension

Bluesky is funded entirely by AARP with a mission to keep aging gen-x people from being lonely when their kids go off to college. Everyone under 55 on this app is an unpaid caregiver

Can't stop laughing.😂

I know there are terrible things happening in the world, but I’ve just been told that my cholesterol is a bit high so I have to give up butter and Starbars.

Good news! There’s a Stallone film on IT4+1 that I’ve never seen- COBRA.

Happy Birthday to the man with the brass neck to release a succession of EPs and finally an album of French songs entitled…

My son started an Access Course today. He wants to apply to go to University next year. I’m amazed by his confidence and determination.

Too shy shy Long conk Gammy eye

UK PEOPLE: If you start watching Threads at 2.12pm, the bomb will go off at the same time as the Emergency Text alert.

I’m watching the Tour of Britain riding through my hood. One of the commentators yesterday said that Caerphilly Mountain wasn’t a “real mountain”.

Me: Got up, fed the cat, opened the cat flap, went back to bed. Cat: Followed me downstairs, ate breakfast, went out for half an hour, ran back into bedroom, vaulted onto my stomach, announced she was wet, noisily licked off the rain, fucked off again.

All this overrated bollocks about molecular gastronomy, though. In 1991 at the end of a party, my mate Dave poured some cheap, strong sherry into a bowl, put a scoop of raspberry ripple ice cream into it and grated a Milky Bar on top to finish it. I mean, he lives in a skip now, but still.