If you cut me now, I’d bleed Pamoda.

My version of hot dogs or legs is white puddings or legs.

Just back from the trip. It was good to visit Mahon. Second largest natural deep harbour in the world and the biggest church organ in the whole of Spain.

I am on a boat.

If you didn’t know that I live in the same part of Bury where Victoria Wood grew up, you could guess it from a sentence issued by a woman I’ve just been chatting to down the park. “I once saw down here, and I’ll never forget it because it was the day my friend had both thumbs off, two kingfishers.”

The greatest Mexico v England tweets you will ever read. 😂 As you were.

We’re on our way for a day trip to Mahon. There’ll be shopping, a boat trip and a tour of a gin distillery. We have the back seat of the bus 👍

new metaphor just dropped

I’ve parked myself in a cool* cafe while the sun worshippers go to explore the harbour. *temperature

The national drink of Menorca is a gin and lemon slushie. Good work, Menorca.

He's presenting Homes Under the Hammer (© by my fiancé, Kelly)

I think Spain might have scored? Just heard lots of cheering and someone ringing a bell.

Hola from Menorca 🇪🇸

People who have phone conversations on loudspeaker in an airport lounge at 5.30am.

We’re almost at the airport. I’m wearing my best white caps 👍

Hello from Solihull!

Starting to get into holiday mode now. Tomorrow we drive to Birmingham.

Since we're celebrating Norway, well feast yourselves on Fridtjof Nansen the godfather of Arctic exploration.

Man, those Fukken Consultants

ABSOLUTE CHIMNEYS

I needed an extra swimming costume, so hit the Tesco sale. I’ve bought a one shoulder costume. What could possibly go wrong?

The humble bar graph taking a bold step into 3D here, while never losing sight of its passion: clearly showing which numbers are bigger.

Spotted by Mat today.

I hope BBC4 are having a Cobra meeting right now about tonight's schedule #PenelopeKeith

Penelope Keith, 10/10, no notes. RIP youtu.be/S-5Lp8v2t5A?...

i know he gon remember this everyday for the next 53 years

Eight years ago today, I interviewed Mel Brooks. Currently playing my phone interview with him on @noiseboxradio.com. #BarfeNight noiseboxradio.com

Just perfect

Bailey is home.

It’s lovely and cool in my front room. I don’t sit in here much, so I’m enjoying being surrounded by my precious things.

Posted this before but I love it. Mel Brooks’s story about ghosting Cary Grant must have been told by Mel on every other talk show appearance he made, it was one of his standard “bits” but I especially like this version with Clive James. youtu.be/9QbATFlTaZs?...

"When he comes home at night and I hear his key in the lock, I say to myself, 'Oh good! The party's about to begin.'" Anne Bancroft on husband Mel Brooks. #Happy100thMel xxx

Policeman: Name Woman: Delia Smith Policeman: Your FULL name Woman: Pyschedelia Smithereens, Sir.

Urgh. Wonderwall. If we’re going for tracks from 1995 I want several thousand England fans singing “Yes” by McAlmont and Butler. Actually, just make that song the national anthem.

Hydration break

We’re watching a film called Deep Water about a plane crash. We’re flying to Menorca next week.

I am a proper blonde again.

The photos they’re released from the new production of Jesus Christ Superstar are reminding me a lot of the Satan’s Alley set from Staying Alive.

Every time I hear the bing bongs at the football

LEAVE HER ALONE

S Club 7 come on. F: Aren’t most of these dead? #TOTP

Bailey is hiding under the bushes at the back of the garden. I need to take her to my mum’s, because the dogs are coming to stay. Not ideal.

I don't believe in taking photos of people going about their business but I am not above telling you that my neighbour opposite is currently vacuuming his lawn.

Those Bargain Hunt jackets they make the teams wear are so hideous. They hurt my eyes.

I’m having my hair colour done this afternoon, in my tiny hairdresser’s (the shop, not the hairdresser). Booked it weeks ago. Can’t postpone it.

Treat. Platforms. As. Publishers.

If you provide no useful service that generates real income, that’s not a business its a ponzi scheme