It's a great cosmic joke that neurodivergence both runs in families and gets diagnosed based on parent reports. I was diagnosed at 30 because a man who has eaten potatoes every day for 57 years and a woman who collects loose buttons decided I was a perfectly normal child.

If the UK is on the brink of civil war, as Musk claims, it follows that in 300 years time there will be be a new generation of civil war re-enactment societies. "Geoff,you defend Laurence Fox. Can you guys shout outside a hostel. Brian, i need you to relentlessly slag off Nish Kumar on Facebook."

Last night, I had a Jacob Elordi dream. The cat woke me up at a very inconvenient moment. In related news, I keep seeing trailers for Wuthering Heights.

The nuclear codes were 1234. The Louvre security password was Louvre. Elite sex-conspirators list their names and crimes in emails and birthday cards to one another. At least Dan Brown had the church disguise its dark secrets by jumbling the letters up and doing mirror writing and lemon juice.

If you’ve never read this before, PLEASE READ ITAND LISTEN TO THE SONG.

Fucksake. Everyone's posting about bleak AF stuff again. Time to wheel out the emergency baby pika!

There’s a strange car parked outside our house. It’s been there since last night and it’s blocking the pavement.

Why yes, I am about to watch a Christmas film starring Alicia Silverstone.

Absolutely gone at this story from Harris on FB, the last sentence is pure Atlantic coast magic.

All the Epstein emails are powerful elites saying shit like “Hello my friend the pedophile, i need your advice as a pedophile, what do you think about this other pedophile? Pedophilic Regards, your Friend ;)” and instead of swinging from a gibbet most of them are still writing op-eds against leftism

How did those presenters keep a straight face

I’d be quite happy to explain the importance of this to Victoria, on behalf of my profession, using diagrams if necessary.

Excellent Asda lunchtime purchase.

As it’s Richard Burton’s 100th birthday today, here’s the letter he wrote to my step-father, a Port Talbot boy, in 1960. I think he may have typed it himself, because of the accents added in pen.

My dad decided to install motion sensor lights alongside the path in the back garden, so now any nighttime walk to the shed is basically the video for Billie Jean.

We don't care what James Acaster says - he's just trying to be edgy. Bet he was more into those little coin purses that looked like a backpack...

If you’re watching the Daisy Mae and Charlie Cooper programme, I just Googled Chillingham Castle and found out that the owner, Sir Humphry Wakefield, is Dominic Cummings’ father-in-law.

That Liberty table is a square version of mine 👍

Alan Carr should legit be a spy. Not only did he win Traitors but just by taking his specs off and not smiling he transforms himself into a man with questionable views on Alan Carr

We’re off to the rugby 🏉

I’ve watched Frankenstein.

Describe your cat’s personality with one photo.

If you are an international supervillain looking for a new clifftop lair which is just a 10 minute walk away from a cafe selling brilliant coffee and custard slices, I can recommend the old coastguard station in Mumbles / Mwmbwls.

Mat doesn’t believe that Norwich was hotbed for cool bands in the late 90s.

When me and the girls head out to town

Whenever there is nickname discussion, I share my teenage nickname from comp. I was tell and looked like this, so of course some of the boys called me CHEWBACCA.

For those of you who get the Extra Bit, this is the Xmas ad I started crying about. It is the BEST XMAS AD EVER. And Lynda Bellingham’s final look to camera will *ruin* you. www.hatads.org.uk/catalogue/re...

playing Nick's reaction to finding out Alan was a traitor to myself for the rest of the night. #CelebrityTraitors

Nick Mohammed on Joe Marler: "He continually refers to me in texts as Judas but occasionally replaces the U with a ❤️" 😭 #celebritytraitors

I’m completely frazzled. I have 7 minutes before my next meeting but I need a nap.

It is absolutely Dick Dastardly pinning a medal on Muttley level, isn't it?

I should have numbered that little thread. I could go on and on about this,

There’ll be many opinions about this today. I’d like to share my personal and professional opinion. The young people who have been struggling most since Covid lockdown are Autistic. The disruption to routines, lack of access to activities and support networks was catastrophic for some of them.

A is 16 today 🎉 I bought her a lovely jacket (size small) but it’s about 4 sizes too big for her. I also bought her new sunglasses, but they’re so big they fall off her face 😬

this was a joke but I think it would work. patriot power. british broadband. winston water

Just found out that there’ll be 3 extra teenagers sleeping over on Friday night. Can you buy soundproof pods? Asking for myself.

Monday

We had such a good time last night. I have a video of Mat dancing to Do Ya Think I’m Sexy by Rod Stewart. That’s one for the family archive.

The most spectacular costume of 2025? That honor belongs to…

I can’t even iron my brown cords. This shoulder injury is really impacting on my core values and identity. #browncordseason

Normalise calling people who are obsessed with bringing trans people up in every argument “weirdos” and “perverts” instead of debating them

10am is an inhuman time for Sunday morning checkout.

Live band!

We have a roof terrace and it’s not raining. #backofthenet

Outstanding

Hello from a pub in Tenby with a real fire.

It’s much easier to hose shit off marble.

How are people watching Ghostwatch?

i would happily watch an 18 minute James Cameron critique of this costume