Bloody hell. Amazon has a 2 hour 20 minute documentary on the ZX Spectrum. *opens bottle and settles down*

I’m rewinding the tv and watching Beastie Boys again rather than Baddiel & Skinner. Yes, I said rewinding. I’m old. #totp

Absolute. Fucking. Tune. #totp

I dunno. Maybe stop calling her Shorty and you might get somewhere with her? #totp

I was worried the last season of #Taskmaster might ruin this one in comparison but my family were fearing for my health hearing me roaring with laughter at tonight’s episode. I’m quite tempted just whack channel 4+1 on. “Please say something good” will enter my list of go to phrases.

If you see this quote post a concert picture you took.

I was 23 when this came out and never has a show spoken to me so much.

Wearing a buttoned up cardigan today. Just saw my reflection and thought “oh god. I look like someone’s dad.” Then I remembered I am someone’s dad.

we’re all taking a spare set of clothes into work tomorrow to leave in a pile on the floor so the believers think everyone’s been raptured apart from them, right?

The MTV 80s channel is only playing videos from 80s movie soundtracks so I’m drinking wine and having an existential crisis of epic proportions.

Which movie do you consider to be perfect?

Not that anyone cares, but I’ve had a couple of glasses of wine. Fave sitcoms: Spaced Parks & Recreation Blackadder 30 Rock The Simpsons (seasons 3-9) New Girl Arrested Development Community Futurama I’m Alan Partridge

Die Hard’s on. It’s officially Christmas. *buries face in box of Quality Street*

I think I’m growing as a human being. I’m in a horrendously bad mood today. Before, I would’ve spent a load of money in the pub. Instead, I spent a load of money in a book shop. Growth.

16 year old football fan son walks in room while Vindaloo playing on #totp Me: “This is what used to happen when football tournaments were on” Son: “OK. I’m leaving now.”

The first Silver Sun album is an absolute power pop classic and I advise you all go and listen to it #totp

“That’s a lot of beer you’ve been taking out of me this evening, Dave. Have you thought about a nice glass of Ribena?”

The Sundance Institute and Festival are responsible for supporting and making me aware of a lot of films I deeply love. So cheers for that, Bob.

"Think back to your childhood. Do you remember when the anxiety started?"

ACTIVATE THE CHUNKY KNITWEAR

I think walking races would be improved if they constantly played Yakkity Sax over the tannoy.

Well, this made me laugh this morning, at least.

Lesbian Space Crime. Found my new band name.

Google AI suggesting that, during the tube strike, I should take the Elizabeth line from Marylebone station. Marylebone isn’t on the Elizabeth line.

[screams for eternity]

And so we come to that most sacred of days. The formal state opening of the wardrobe and the traditional donning of the hoodie for the first time this season. A timeless ceremony that always brings a tear to the eye.

How very dare you, Amazon.

Am I really late to the party noticing This is Spinal Tap’s rating goes to 11 on IMDB?

The queen is in residence.

I’ve just bought this for my cats. I will now sit down and think about what I’ve become.

So many options. Quite frankly, if the lads had really put their minds to it, they could’ve written a chorus so perfect it would’ve solved world peace.

AT LAST! STORM DAVE! It’ll sweep in majestically from the Atlantic, go “Alright, lads?” and peter out relatively quickly.

Well at least we know which game is on Match of the Day last tonight

It is 2029. The penalty shoot out between Grimsby and Manchester United cannot be stopped. The ground has been sealed in concrete.

Who are these people that train passengers phone at 7:15 in the morning for a chit-chat? If you call me before 9am, one of us better be dying.

I’ve had to go and order a fucking flat white, haven’t I?

Ok, tonight I’m watching the last episode of Andor and then straight into Rogue One *checks wine supplies*

“Christ, Jeff. We childproof the doors for a reason.”

I'll admit, I did not see where this was going.

WHEN HARRY MET SALLY STARTING ON BBC1 KLAXON

I'd forgotten that Simple Minds song from 1998 and I've forgotten it again already #TOTP

Told my wife it's National Orgasm Day today. She seemed interested, but I think she might've been faking it.

Toblerone_Escort. I think we can stop there, can’t we?

Watching The War Game on BBC4. Three days after a nuclear attack that has killed millions, the men are still wearing suits and ties because we’re British goddamn it.

“Why do birds suddenly appear Every time you are near?” “I’ve told you, Karen. I’m employed by the RSPB. And I’ve asked you repeatedly not to bother me at work.

JUST ATE A BIG ROAST BEEF DINNER #thefootball

FOOTBALL. BLOODY HELL. #FOOTBALL #BLOODYHELL

I am a person in a film or television drama. I never go “OK bye… Yep… bye… You too… bye… Gotta go… bye…” when ending a phone call.