make them answer for why they care more about checking a child’s underwear than whether you can afford your electric bill!

It’ll be fine

Fuck da oilers, all my homies hate da oilers

if democrats are serious about winning they need to learn from tonight and convert to islam

woke wheel route’s always open

Missed spursday in lab again

A democratic supermajority with control of the White House wouldn’t do the first thing on this list

Your mileage may vary, but I strongly recommend “marrying your best friend in a spooky swamp while dressed as Gomez and Morticia Addams on Halloween” as a coping mechanism for These Trying Times. 10/10, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️, imo

Has anyone in human history ever gotten more free clout than George Soros?

Solid as a rock

I once threw a Halloween party and a flying squirrel got into my foyer and people were running up and down the stairs like in christmas vacation

Had to call the cops because some lady was beating the shit out of her very small child while driving all over the road and now I’m getting text messages from the god damn sheriff’s department asking me to fill out a quick customer service survey

Man Wouldn't Have Worn Costume To Work If He'd Known He Was Getting Laid Off

Saw my first Sexy Nurse shedding her pupal husk behind the Circle K

HELLO SIDNEY. DO U CONDEMN THE ACTIONS OF HAMAS

Pedro Porro could put a ball into geosynchronous orbit from here

Most common fear when a group of people is speaking a language you don’t understand nearby is that they’re all making fun of you. In Vance’s case, that fear is completely reasonable.

Spurs are playing again? Today? Already? In this economy?

it is easier to imagine the end of capitalism than the end of baseball

academy award contending tiktok

Once again challenging any member of this so-called administration to a first-to-50 1v1 game of SWAT on Lockout. OG Xbox, default controls, Duke controllers only, we’ll see who knows ball. Winner gets complete executive control, loser gets consumed by the Flood.

Ahahahahaha

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

Nice, we won

Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood

my favorite part of the LSU game so far is after texas A&M scored they showed two LSU fans wearing helmets just repeatedly headbutting eachother on the jumbotron

Truly baffling officiating in this game. I’ll be shocked if they ever call any of the holds against Howell at this point

Ahead at the break thanks to a Windass opener 💪 🔴⚪ #WxmAFC

2:15 pm coffee

You would think being a USMNT fan would emotionally prepare me to find out that my club has spent 90+ minutes being put in the Walls of Jericho by a glorified casino money laundering operation, but alas

Oh baby

This is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen

locking myself in here

Home Depot Introduces New 12-Foot-Tall Willem Dafoe https://theonion.com/home-depot-introduces-new-12-foot-tall-willem-dafoe/

Can I tell you about a cloud service that will never have an outage

It is time to bring back the overhead projector. The whiteboards in my classrooms are increasingly blocked by Big Screens which, even when functioning as intended, make teaching less interactive and discourage note-taking.

American soccer culture is a furious man wearing a Spurs shirt as he shambles around Wegman’s

Laszlo Cravensworth voice CHILAQUILES

Fuck youuuuuuuu

They say there’s nothing new under the sun, but I’m pretty sure I just saw a Burger King-crowned Surrender Cobra in A&M-Arkansas

I’m sorry, Shohei Ohtani did WHAT now??

the perfect application of an Editor's Note, got tears in my eyes

RETVRN

Why am I getting fundraiser texts “from” Gruesome Gavin? Have I not suffered enough?

I’m 41. I’m an adult. I should not be crylaughing while watching this clip for almost the 40th time. I don’t give a shit. This is the funniest shit an A&M anyone has ever done. I don’t even need context.

Hawk Tuah feels like it happened in 1997

All-time social media graphic from ESPN

These guys must have access to drugs I could never even dream of