If my friends are talking a hypothetical divorce can I pick which friend gets custody of me

Breaking it down sexual style. I’ve been using long division when I should have been doing log division

Hey pal, if facial kerning was a thing, the space between your eyes wouldn’t be a problem

You know what guys, grass, actually pretty cool. Gonna touch it more

#devstrike2k26 #theykeepgoing

Titty masala

@bbnomula.bsky.social really got a glow down here

Neopets is in the epstien files

Described kidney stones as piss hurty

The amount of effort I put into to time theft should be admirable

Enjoyable media doesn’t always mean good media

Ngl the power of friendship absolutely rips, no wonder it’s usually the good guys secret weapon

I didn’t start my day off with a monster, double shot of espresso and a cup of tea to have it go like this

Thank goodness I live near a school and won’t have to worry about these

If I can make one person laugh at my jokes it’s a win. I laugh at my jokes so sick it nerds I stay winning

getting a body pillow of myself so I can show the ladies double the fun (disappointment)

O'Keeffe's coward asses. For calling it healthy feet instead of in keeping with the brand and calling it working feet

Industrial capital of the world, Chengdu hast

I forget the name, did you guys ever see that anime where the main character is an outcast who suddenly becomes the strongest fighter?

Bram Strokers Jackula

I need to move back to seattle, the Asian markets here aren’t great. I long for uwajimaya and h mart

Just wait until my father hears about this The this in question: a roadside dennys

🎵 Country roads country roads, to the place with country roads 🎵

Sebastian Gorka is Penn Gillette if he quit magic

Republicans are all “you must assimilate“ until it means going vegan and joining a polycule because that’s Portland culture

Rise and grind: his bones to make your bread

You know that bigots aren’t funny because they haven’t found a way to work with she/it

The Mewgenics soundtrack kinda rips

Artisanal hand crafted suffering

Battlestar Bacteria

Spaghetti Zeus throwing Al dente noodles

Democracy Dies in two dumb bitches telling each other “exaaaaactlyyyy” memes

Kid and I playing board games Her: you’re big loser pants Me: I’m not loser pants, I’m the big strong normal pants

me after I sow:

Just made a joke Highlander reference at a Gen Z and she gave me the blankest look that made me feel so old

I just pissed myself... this is the movie he is mad that people are calling slop... I demand you watch with the sound on... it is so much worse than you think it is going to be...

I’ll talk big about not really having an accent then pronounce eggs as ay-ggs

I feel like we woefully underuse e-ink displays as a society

Is it ableist or complementary that my first that was “that’s a sick cannon arm” before I realized it was a prosthetic

The only thing stopping democrats from reeling republicans back from their extremism to just being far right is their staunch commitment to maintaining the current power structures

I’m sorry, I can’t take your company seriously if it’s headed by an Italian man named something that sounds like a pasta. Fettuccini Pastorini ass mf

Love an internal coworker that will email to no reply constantly and refuse to instead hit you up in teams/slack

I think the “moderate” conversations around AI are so funny because it’s always like “look there are marginal benefits that can be made in niche areas like programming and that’s good” but they never contend with our it’s packed our information and entertainment ecosystems with just slop

Work is cracking down on time theft, this is a direct assault on me

Get you a man that looks at you the way that skeletor looks at he man

cumming “gravy style”

Gen Z history teacher on old timey battle lines “so they line up against each other, aura farming and mogging the other army”

Happy Mother’s Day

This pizza place just has a dudes getting hit in the nuts compilation video on repeat, it’s weird as hell

Saw someone today wearing goth barbershop quartet chic